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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About how this cashier and manager treated DD

129 replies

SomewhatNewToThis · 17/06/2017 17:55

First post, have long read this forum but never have I felt the need to post! However, I do now, as I genuinely can't tell if I'm being precious or not.

DD is 14, she looks noticeably young. She's very quiet, has social anxiety and any form of social interaction is a big deal for her. I was quite pleased when she said she wanted to go to town by herself today!

She had bought three bottles of scented spray from a local shop near us for herself. One of the bottles was faulty and didn't work, so she took it back to get a refund. The offer was buy two, get one half price, so DD took the other two back with her. All three had been opened.

The cashier said she'd give DD a refund, as the item was faulty. So she refunded everything onto DD's debit card, DD was happy and everything seeemed fine. However, it turned out the cashier had only meant to refund DD the faulty item, the half price spray. She had made a mistake on the till and ended up refunding DD everything.

The cashier then said DD would have to buy back the other two shampoos at full price as they'd been used, and pick a third one free to replace the faulty half price one. So basically do the original transaction again. However, the money from the refund doesn't go back to the account for three days and DD didn't have enough money in her account to 'buy back' the sprays after the cashier accidentally refunded her all three items instead of the one!

DD was very anxious by this point and a large que had gathered. Manager came down to speak to her, DD said she didn't have enough money to buy back the accidentally refunded items as the money was not in her account and the manager said she had to pay for them, no refund available, as they were partly used and that the other refund was an 'error.' Then asked why DD had accepted the refund knowing she had no money to buy them back, DD said because she thought she was getting a refund for everything, didn't know she would have to buy it back and didn't get why it hadn't put through as an exchange. DD said she had no money to rebuy them again, manager asked her when she would. DD explained that she wouldn't have money for the next two weeks.

In the end, the manager said she had to leave the perfume sprays, took her name, address and phone number and said she had to pay it back by X date. Also said, "we have your details, so we know who you are," and reminded her that she "was on CCTV."

AIBU to be angry? DD says she feels like they've made her out to be some kind of criminal and she feels really embarrassed. She says the manager was rude to her and she got no apology from the cashier for cocking up the refund.

I'm mainly annoyed as she's so young and her anxiety issues are terrible. And J don't think a 14 year old girl should be put in that situation. But I also might just be over reacting as she is my only child Grin

OP posts:
BewareOfDragons · 17/06/2017 18:29

I'd go in and raise hell.

BasketOfDeplorables · 17/06/2017 18:30

Their fault, their problem. I doubt it was a huge amount of money. If they had really needed to do this they would have asked her to call you so you could complete the transaction using your card, but you would have given them short shrift, I imagine.

Goingtobeawesome · 17/06/2017 18:30

Really confused about your Grin. Your DD is being intimidated and you're on here and not in the shop sorting it out.

VintagePerfumista · 17/06/2017 18:33

Oh bless her, I can just imagine my 13 yr old being mortified at this.

I'm no cotton wool mama, but I would definitely play hell. I'd write to customer services rather than go in and speak to the manager though- especially seeing as it was the manager who was incapable of sorting out their own mistake to start with.

Jijhebtseksmetezels · 17/06/2017 18:34

Err...because she's not sure if she's BU or not.....why be mean?

OP yes your DD has been badly treated and I'd go back in person and have a go, explaining that she has social anxiety and they've probably set her back.

Idiots. Why do some people have to treat teenagers with such disdain?

AlexDrake1981 · 17/06/2017 18:34

I'm with Charlie. I know 2 wrongs don't make a right, but I get the feeling the manager was on some sort of power trip when he spoke to your daughter op. For this reason I would want to tear strips off them on the shop floor, just so they could feel how embarrassed your daughter felt. There's no doubt in my mind they would have spoken to an adult like that.

Oh, I would then contact head office depending on the outcome.

ohforfoxsake · 17/06/2017 18:38

I would tweet the company and Post on their FB page.

None of this was your DDs fault. She was treated appallingly.

AdalindSchade · 17/06/2017 18:40

Fucking pathetic excuse for customer service there. You can be sure that if your DD had been an assertive adult OR the items were high value they would have been apologetic and done a straight exchange or a full refund. As it is your DD isn't out of pocket she is just left with no body spray Hmm which is just totally stupid of them.
Get on social media and make a fuss, as well as writing to head office.

velourvoyageur · 17/06/2017 18:42

As someone who did have severe anxiety as a teenager, I would leave her to deal with it.

My parents are always very quick to come to my defence, but they are discerning and only do this when they feel it would be truly necessary (= basically never since I turned 18), and it only ever helped me when I was left to fight my own small battles (like this). With every difficult situation I sorted out on my own, I gained a bit more confidence and became a little less anxious in future similar situations. It forced me to use my imagination to find a solution if it was important to me - parents storming in would just have reinforced the notion that I wasn't capable of participating in adult life, which was the very thing that made me anxious in the first place!

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 17/06/2017 18:43

I would be paying them a visit. Immediately.

OfficerVanHalen · 17/06/2017 18:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YogiYoni · 17/06/2017 18:44

That's outrageous. As the shop's mistake they should have just given her the items back even if the refund was done.

velourvoyageur · 17/06/2017 18:44

In fact, scratch that, since I was maybe 12 - I automatically thought of 'adult' age, but although they were v. concerned at times, they still let me handle things myself - how would we learn otherwise? The best way to learn is to do, surely?

ChasedByBees · 17/06/2017 18:48

that is outrageous. Actually the store didn't yet give her back her money as it doesn't go onto her card for three days. They started the process but didn't do it yet. I would complain but not to the store - head office.

SpiritedLondon · 17/06/2017 18:49

I'm a bit confused....so you DD was given a full refund and needed to do a whole new purchase but couldn't because the refund wouldn't have made it onto her card? Why did they just not exchange the faulty one? If she's left without the goods why did she need to give her name and address? Calling the manager must have been extremely nerve wracking so well done her. They've behaved like complete knobs as far as I can see but well done her for not pegging it out the door. YANBU.

Chloe84 · 17/06/2017 18:50

I'm impressed that DD knew she wouldn't have the money back in her account for 3 days Grin

Doubt I would have known that at 14. She sounds smart.

WhatThePuck · 17/06/2017 18:53

If they made a mistake that is their fault.
I would definitely complain

Funnyfarmer · 17/06/2017 18:55

I work in retail and I'm a massive believer in the customer is NOT always right!
However in this instance your dd was not in wrong and treated appaulingly.
Was she offered a straight exchange for the faulty item?
In that senserio it would have been the best option.
It was the cashiers mistake to refund everything and she should have not refunded before checking the items.

paxillin · 17/06/2017 18:55

Put it on twitter, you'll get a lifetime's worth of scented spray. Companies arevery worried about this stuff.

Funnyfarmer · 17/06/2017 18:56

Chloe they usually tell you that when doing a refund back on your card

OfficerVanHalen · 17/06/2017 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SootSprite · 17/06/2017 19:04

I'm sorry but I have a teen with social anxiety, no way would I send her into this sort of environment without back up. Go back tomorrow and raise merry hell with the manager, I mean - really rip him a new one.

SomewhatNewToThis · 17/06/2017 19:07

I'm glad to know I'm not being unreasonable about it.

She only realised she didn't have the money when she put her card in. DD actually tried to 'rebuy' the items but only realised about the three day wait when she freaked out as her card got declined and the cashier informed her about the wait!

Like some people have said, I too am surprised she went and got the refund. She goes to therapy fortnightly for her social anxiety and her latest 'challenge' was to do some kind of social interaction in a retail environment. I'm sad it went so wrong.

To clear up the confusion, DD left her details as the manager is expecting her to revisit the shop at some point with the money to pay for the items. The other two sprays are basically being held hostage at the shop and will be given back to her when she rebuys them. Hmm And all of this because of the "they're open, we can't refund them."

I'm going to go in to the shop tomorrow and say that I don't think DD should have to buy them back and that the full refund should be honoured as it wasn't her mistake. I didn't do anything tonight as this happened just before the shop closed. DD only told me after she got home as it's about a 10 minute walk to town.

Anyone with a child who has anxiety will know that there is a balance you have to find- between helping them, but also teaching them to overcome their fears. DD may come with me tomorrow, but I'll also give her the option to remain home if she wants.

She's embarrassed and upset, but seems happier now. Sadly the effects of this bad experience will probably mean she is extra anxious and nervy when buying anything from now on!

I won't name and shame the shop if the issue is resolved as it's a small, family run shop and not very well known. I definitely want an apology but I shall give them the chance to right their wrong first. I am very angry and certainly if they'd been open when DD got home and told me what happened I would have been straight in there!

OP posts:
velourvoyageur · 17/06/2017 19:08

Kids with anxiety aren't made of candyfloss. We won't be squashed. I was one, I know. It's not like we're not like ordinary kids and can only start to be built up through tough experiences once the anxiety's gone. We have to be built up so the anxiety goes. If anything, we need more challenges so as to have more chances of building confidence when we successfully confront them!

velourvoyageur · 17/06/2017 19:08

X post with OP
Not trying to force you and DD into anything.

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