AIBU to want a day at the beach

[AlwaysDancing1234]

I just want a DAY at the beach!

We live in a big city 2 hours drive from the coast. We are visiting in laws today, they live a mile from a lovely beach.

Arranged we would meet them at the beach about 10am, spend the day on the beach with fish & chips for lunch on the prom then back to theirs late afternoon/early evening for dinner.

On our way in the car and MIL calls DH mobile to say they don't want to come to the beach now as "it'll be hot and sandy" so we need to be at theirs for 12pm for lunch. I politely said (as already agreed) she doesn't need to do lunch, the kids want a day at the beach and fish and chips for lunch as planned etc. but She got all huffy and said she'd bought and prepared all the food now!

So what was going to be a lovely day at the beach is now 2 hours if we are lucky then off to theirs by midday to sit in the house all bloody day instead.

I will put on a happy face and Im grateful for her doing lunch but AIBU to be pissed off that we are doing a 4 hour round trip with kids and will only get a short time on the beach. I was really looking forward to my chip butty for lunch as well!

Just tell her no! YANBU at all. Say the kids are excited about the beach and want to be outdoors enjoying the sun. Say you will join her at time previously agreed. She can put the food in the fridge.

She's being manipulative and trying to guilt trip you by cooking lunch rather than consult with you first.

YANBU get your DH to tell her to pack the lunch and bring it to the beach. Her GC are looking forward to a day at the beach. Whose feelings are more important?

I did try and explain that on the phone but she was acting all hurt and kept going on and I didn't want to make a scene in front of the kids. It would be me ending up looking like the bad guy too.

Oh frig that for a laugh

Just say "sorry Mil but we've planned and packed for the beach, kids are so looking forward to it"

I'd just tell her no, thenfood can wait till the evening

Tell her you're sticking to what's been arranged.

Surely any sensible person knows the beach will be hot and sandy?!!

Squidgy that's exactly what we suggested but apparently it's "too sandy" on the beach!!

You and DH need to prioritise your children of your parents/in laws.

Your children (and you) want and expect and have been looking forward to a day at the beach. So that's what you should do. Send DH to his parents if he wants to go, you and DC stay at the beach and he can pick you up later

You can be the bad guy to MIL or to your kids, your call. How about you have your day at the beach and she can join you if she likes. If not you can pop round on your way home and have the manipulatively-planned lunch for dinner

No, just no. Of course it will be hot and sandy. Say you'll go to hers after your day at the beach. Food which can be served at lunch can be served at dinner time.

Oh that's quite manipulative to make all the food and give you no choice in the matter! I would say the kids will be very disappointed and would love the food she's made on the beach. Honestly, I don't know how these self-serving people can not feel guilty when they do things like this!

DH Ian being wishy washy about it to saying 2 hours will be enough and she's only being nice etc but that's not the bloody point!
She's got form for this too, happens every time we go there in the summer.
Always a day planned and agreed then on the day she'll say she's left a chicken slow cooking or whatever so we have to get back for lunch. I can't really understand why they moved to the seaside and don't go on the beach!!

And also (sorry but I'm annoyed) - if she doesn't want to go to the beach, then that's fine but you don't need to change your plans. She is not in charge of your day.

Go to the beach! If she wants to stay at home all day, that's upto her.

Why don't you go to the beach with the kids and dh can entertain MiL?

YABU for not just saying no.

I don't understand why people don't grow backbones and then whinge that they have to do what other people want.

YANBU it's not fair to disapoint the children when it has already been agreed.

Where's your backbone woman! The only reason she does this is because she bloody gets away with it!

Why not have 2 hours on beach then go to hers for lunch (all use loo etc) then go back to beach for afternoon?

Bribe one of your children (ice cream?) to call grandma, crying, and asking why they are not allowed to go to the lovely beach that they have been soooo looking forward to

Good idea Purple, then you can go to MIL's for tea.

I'm going to have put my big girl pants on aren't I!

I live near the beach. She probably takes it for granted. Remind her that your DC don't get this opportunity often and are looking forward. You'll see her later (unless she wants to join you for a bit). Have a lovely day!

Ring her back.
'I'm sure you wouldn't want to ruin the grandchildren's day. They are so excited. We will see you at 5pm for dinner - looking forward to seeing you.'
Phone down.
Long hard stare at DH.

Mentioned it again to DH but he's going to do what his Mum wants as always so looks I'm going to have to suck it up or it'll end in an almighty row (again)