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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want a day at the beach

108 replies

AlwaysDancing1234 · 17/06/2017 09:27

I just want a DAY at the beach!

We live in a big city 2 hours drive from the coast. We are visiting in laws today, they live a mile from a lovely beach.

Arranged we would meet them at the beach about 10am, spend the day on the beach with fish & chips for lunch on the prom then back to theirs late afternoon/early evening for dinner.

On our way in the car and MIL calls DH mobile to say they don't want to come to the beach now as "it'll be hot and sandy" so we need to be at theirs for 12pm for lunch. I politely said (as already agreed) she doesn't need to do lunch, the kids want a day at the beach and fish and chips for lunch as planned etc. but She got all huffy and said she'd bought and prepared all the food now!

So what was going to be a lovely day at the beach is now 2 hours if we are lucky then off to theirs by midday to sit in the house all bloody day instead.

I will put on a happy face and Im grateful for her doing lunch but AIBU to be pissed off that we are doing a 4 hour round trip with kids and will only get a short time on the beach. I was really looking forward to my chip butty for lunch as well!

OP posts:
Original poster
AlwaysDancing1234 · 17/06/2017 11:53

Thanks for all those who said "woman up" I finally did although DH now barely talking to me as I went against what his mum wanted and I'll get cold shoulder from PIL's but whatever!! Kids are having fabulous time and thats most important
.

OP posts:
SquidgeyMidgey · 17/06/2017 11:54

Yay, well done OP. I doubt she will bother to try it next time. Have a fantastic day, I'm very envious of you being on the beach Grin

TupperwareTat · 17/06/2017 12:05

I reckon your MIL has a hangover hence cancelling a day outGrinWine

user1471545174 · 17/06/2017 12:12

The children are expecting a day at the beach (is all you need to say).

user1471545174 · 17/06/2017 12:12

Oh you did it, well done!

JigglyTuff · 17/06/2017 12:21

Hurrah - have a lovely time! Personally I'm with the MIL and wouldn't dream of going to the beach today. Unless we had visitors who wanted to go and then we'd go there with them :)

harderandharder2breathe · 17/06/2017 12:23

Well done OP!

mickeysminnie · 17/06/2017 12:25

Well done!

Floralnomad · 17/06/2017 12:25

As usual on these threads you actually don't have a MIL problem what you have is a dh problem , good for you for sticking up for yourself and children today . This is just the beginning , good luck .

Jux · 17/06/2017 12:25

If she can change arrangements at short notice, then so can you. Tell her the kids were really looking forward to the beach, and you'll have her lunch for supper when you get there later.

TELL your dh that's what is going to happen.

Tryingtoconceive2years · 17/06/2017 12:25

She brought all of the stuff now - so really she had already planned to no go to the beach with you

Timmytoo · 17/06/2017 12:26

Can she not do that for supper instead. You go to the beach for the day then in the evening for dinner and a sleep over.

noenergy · 17/06/2017 13:04

U should have said u would go round for dinner. No way would I miss the chance of a day at the beach and fish and chips. She should have told u yesterday that they didn't want to go to the beach. She obviously had it all planned since she had lunch sorted.

AlexaAmbidextra · 17/06/2017 13:31

What is it with these fucking weak men and their mummies?

youvegottobekidding · 17/06/2017 14:03

I hope you & the kids are enjoying (or have enjoyed as the case maybe) the beach! 😎🍦☀️

You can't miss a trip to the beach for anything else really, not in this country, when the weather is good as it is today, you have to make the most of it, so trips to the seaside, are special (especially if you live further away from the coast) kids love it. We're planning a trip to the beach tomorrow. I've got banging headache (I get them frequently) but it's not going to stop me from going!

BeachyKeen · 17/06/2017 14:09

Beach it up! The kids will always remember the beach part, and there would have been an atmosphere either way, but now they know you can and will stand up for yourself sometimes.

emmyrose2000 · 17/06/2017 14:19

Why does your H care more about his mother than his kids?

She's got form for this too, happens every time we go there in the summer

Of course she's got form for it - because everyone lets her get away with it. Why? Who cares if she throws a tantrum - just ignore her.

I loathe the beach, but in this case I'd be staying there until sundown just to prove my point.

NavyandWhite · 17/06/2017 14:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
AlwaysDancing1234 · 17/06/2017 14:55

Maybe the H wants to see his parents...

Yes of course and I'm not stopping him.
To be clear, We make the 4 hour round trip to see them at least 2 or 3 times a month.

We dont always go to the beach even though they live a mile away as we go to see them not go to the seaside.

DH and kids saw the PIL's last week (I was at work).

Today has been planned for ages and originally agreed with PIL's that today was all day on the beach, they could join us for any or all of it and we'd go to their house late afternoon.

Then MIL calls when we've already left to try and change all the carefully made plans.

Thanks to you lovely Mumsnetters telling me to "woman up" I got the guts to do just that. We had 5 glorious hours on the beach making sandcastles, catching fish, flying kites. The kids are saying it was epic, amazing and awesome. Now at PIL's and about to start eating all the food!!

OP posts:
RandomMess · 17/06/2017 15:05

Glad you stuck up for yourself and the DC.

Aebj · 17/06/2017 15:11

Glad you stayed at the beach. Always such fun and I bet grandparents loved to hear about it

Original poster
AlwaysDancing1234 · 17/06/2017 15:15

MIL come and joined us for a while and admitted she had great fun Smile

OP posts:
BewareOfDragons · 17/06/2017 15:50

I would tell your husband that he needs to take a long hard look at how he treats you when his mother is around/involved/wants something. He married you. And yet he quickly asks 'how high?' when his mother wants something, even when it directly contradicts what you have planned/agreed. That is just not on.

I would suggest that he should think about moving back in with his mother if he's not going to start acting more like your husband. Because you've had enough.

mogulfield · 17/06/2017 15:59

You see them 3 times a month and it's a 4 hour round trip? Bloody hell. Do they ever come to you?
Really clutching at straws here but is she agoraphobic? I had a family member who had it and plans were always changed, agreed to go places then at the last minute couldn't.

missiondecision · 17/06/2017 16:34

Husband problem.
Make a big fuss of mil and the fab time you had. How the dc loved having her there. She may be easier next time.

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