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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think your arse cheeks should be WITHIN your shorts, rather than hanging out.

132 replies

dangermouseisace · 14/06/2017 20:05

Just walked up a hill behind 2 of the (much) younger generation.

It is a hot day. Shorts are good. But these girls in front of me had shorts of a length I would have regarded PE knickers to be in the late 80's /90's.

Is this a 'thing' now, to have your arse cheeks on display? I thought outer clothing was meant to cover them. AIBU?

OP posts:
WhittlingIhopMonkey · 16/06/2017 11:05

Not being unreasonable OP. The arse-shorts trend is stomach churning. More often than not it's accompanied by shoddy fake tan and wobbly cellulitey bits. It's not much better when they at least have the arse to pull it off.

I was in Amsterdam recently and a woman in a loose arse revealing playsuit clambered up on the iamsterdam sign for a selfy. When she threw her leg up on top I could see her cervix.

Honestly, have people no sense of their privates being private anymore?

ZaraW · 16/06/2017 11:12

Bigyellowjumper not really appropriate in Thailand but many tourists really don't care.

BangkokBlues · 16/06/2017 11:29

I reckon make the most of it whilst your arse cheek is still young and pretty and pert!

BigYellowJumper · 16/06/2017 11:31

zara I have seen PLENTY of Thai girls with short shorts.

Appropriate or not, they wear them.

wherearemymarbles · 16/06/2017 11:45

Thats the joy of freedom

An Individual has the right to wear what they wish

Another individual has the right to think what they wish.

Neither party is wrong and if some one thinks a woman walking down the street with her arse hanging out is grim or a man with his beer gut wobbling down street is vile they have just a much right to think that as those who think its fine.

wherearemymarbles · 16/06/2017 11:55

Though the otherday someone's very short cut off jeans had a strand positioned in such a way as it looked like a tampon string hanging down.

onesilencetoofar · 16/06/2017 11:58

I was following my sons girlfriend up the stairs a couple of days ago and let me tell you her ass hanging out her tiny shorts really was a thing of beautyGrin

ZaraW · 16/06/2017 11:58

Bigyellowjumper not as short as this girl was wearing them and certainly not in Bangkok maybe in beach resorts.

GoneDownhill · 16/06/2017 12:11

I was talking about this with one of my adult DDs who has a fab figure, she is very slim and toned but has really big boobs and unlike mine hers are in the right place. 😂 She feels quite restricted about what clothes she can wear because she doesn't want to draw unwanted attention to herself. Obviously she should just be able to wear what she wants but she also doesn't want to get hassled as she walks down the street. It's frustrating.

Oldgranny · 16/06/2017 12:35

My Arse !!!!!!

Gooseygoosey12345 · 16/06/2017 13:02

I just think it's a shame young girls feel the need to look so "sexy" all the time, but hey, not my arse so it's up to them I guess. Totally dislike men with their hairy guts out too. A young lad was stood behind me in Tesco with his shirt off yesterday which I just found really odd :/

NoLoveofMine · 16/06/2017 13:16

I think there is an issue with the shorts which are made specifically for girls and young women, and clothing generally. You would never get such clothing manufactured for boys and men nor fashions promoted which involves minimal covering. It's difficult for me to articulate this well because I also think women and girls should be free to wear what they want without comment and wearing this kind of thing does not warrant comment or ogling. There is a deeper issue though, in my opinion, with this kind of attire being marketed to girls and women specifically.

silkpyjamasallday · 16/06/2017 13:47

A girl I went to school with used to go out on the town in 'shorts' that really just looked like a sturdier version of Bridget Jones' big knickers, and a crop top that looked like a bra. She looked like a 'lady of the night' as my grandma would say, and she got the attention to go with it, which was what she wanted. No one wears booty shorts or hot pants if they are a shrinking violet or want to avoid drawing attention to themselves. They may not be actively trying to get men to look at them, and may just be conforming to the style rules of their social group, but at a base level this sort of clothing is designed for and by men to be worn by women to sexually objectify them. Young girls are constantly told overtly or otherwise that being desirable to men is the most important thing in life, and that means the skimpier and sexier the better. It's sad, but the media and the sorts of celebs girls look up to now like the kardashians/little mix etc promote this overtly sexual clothing style as cool and empowering when all it does is pander to male sexual desire.

There isn't actually a huge difference in the way men and women are marketed to, it is all done through the male gaze. Women don't tend to be that bothered by men in skimpy outfits as it isn't what is presented as the 'ideal man' they aren't judged and valued only for their physicality. A friend (who has very rigid ideas about gender roles) once said to me 'women look best in lingerie, men look best in suits' and that highlights the problem. Women are valued and judged on their bodies, while men are expected to look in control and smart. Women who dress in a sexually provocative way are judged by men and women alike and it is to no ones benefit, men and women see them as serving themselves up on a plate like a piece of meat and they have no respect for them because of this.

CurlyMango · 16/06/2017 15:39

H son and I were at ago Ape last week. We had to follow a lady with her arse out all the way round. The harness made it worse. He was horrified and did not enjoy the view. He's 12....and defiantly enjoys 'other views'😔

IamHereButAreYouThere · 16/06/2017 15:43

Yanbu I think it looks awful. BUT I have bought two pairs of shorts recently and both pairs ride up to show my arse. I returned one pair and kept the second to wear at home - I won't wear them out of the house for this reason. I couldn't find any of a decent length. I shop in cheap shops, maybe that's why.

IamHereButAreYouThere · 16/06/2017 15:44

I did see a teenage girl in the park yesterday wearing trousers and a bra. It definitely was a bra. I kept looking back, I was quite shocked. It was the middle of the afternoon.

MatildaTheCat · 16/06/2017 16:03

It's an odd one. IMO if you wear very skimpy clothing you must accept that you will attract attention whether you wish to or not. Some admiring, some perving and some judging. Super short shorts are a statement, not a necessity to keep your arse cool. Just like a Wonderbra shows cleavage and will probably attract glances.

I hate this look in town centres. On young girls they are being perved and on older women they mostly look awful.

On a beach or park it's not as bad. That's life.

NoLoveofMine · 16/06/2017 16:08

IamHereButAreYouThere it was a hot day and she might have felt comfortable. Would you have kept looking back and been shocked at a teenage boy with his top off? I hope so.

MatildaTheCat but a lot of clothing for girls and women is manufactured with the male gaze in mind, fashions introduced which are particularly revealing. It's not surprising a lot of girls wear shorts such as those being talked of here as they're so commonplace. There's a wider culture where clothing for girls and women is often designed to give less coverage.

Your comment about attention is giving excuses to those who make comments and ogle women and girls in my opinion. Girls and women are ogled and harassed on the street no matter what they wear - so many report street harassment first occurred when school age and often in school uniform. Clothing is nothing to do with it, the only fault lies with the ones doing it. I don't personally wear the kind of clothing being remarked upon here (though don't at all judge girls or women who do) but have had plenty of unwanted "perving" as most have.

BigYellowJumper · 16/06/2017 16:11

nolove

Yup

buttfacedmiscreant · 16/06/2017 16:21

I'm not sure it is all that different from seeing a lot of cleavage. Some people feel that you shouldn't show that either.

I don't particularly like seeing arse hanging out, but I realise that is my issue and taste and not others.

roundaboutthetown · 16/06/2017 16:26

If men went around in shorts that tiny I am 100% certain it would attract comment and a fair amount of revulsion from most people!... And revealing wisps of pubic hair is not uncommon enough in either men or women. As for men wandering around without tops on - again, this is definitely something which attracts negative comment. It might not get a man arrested, but it isn't approved of in a town shopping centre. Fine on the beach, of course, where skimpy Speedos would also be tolerated. It doesn't mean most people like the average man wandering about dressed like that, though...

NoLoveofMine · 16/06/2017 16:28

If men went around in shorts that tiny

They don't. Because it's not fashion for them and shorts that short aren't manufactured for men or boys as they are for girls and young women. Compare boys' shorts to girls' shorts and there's a clear difference. I wonder why that is.

roundaboutthetown · 16/06/2017 16:28

So, really, I do not see double standards, here, just the fact that a large proportion of people would rather genitals, chests and buttocks were more covered rather than less.

roundaboutthetown · 16/06/2017 16:33

I hope there is never a fashion for men to wear tiny shorts.

IamHereButAreYouThere · 16/06/2017 18:17

IamHereButAreYouThere it was a hot day and she might have felt comfortable. Would you have kept looking back and been shocked at a teenage boy with his top off? I hope so.

I kept looking back because it was out of the ordinary and I was trying to work out if it really just a bra. I'd look back if I saw someone dressed in a fancy dress costume for no apparent reason. I saw a teenage boy with his top off on a mild autumn day with a hint of sun and I did a double take at him and decided he was a bit of a dick. I don't like seeing boys or men with their tops off in public. I think people should dress appropriately for their environment. If I saw a person walking around in the nude I'd look back at them too. Even if it was a very hot day and they felt comfortable.