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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think your arse cheeks should be WITHIN your shorts, rather than hanging out.

132 replies

dangermouseisace · 14/06/2017 20:05

Just walked up a hill behind 2 of the (much) younger generation.

It is a hot day. Shorts are good. But these girls in front of me had shorts of a length I would have regarded PE knickers to be in the late 80's /90's.

Is this a 'thing' now, to have your arse cheeks on display? I thought outer clothing was meant to cover them. AIBU?

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 15/06/2017 15:48

daisy You think it's totally fine for dad-aged men WITH THEIR KIDS to be staring at young women?

Someone is being inappropriate here, and it sure as fuck isn't the women

Where did my post say anything about it being totally fine.

What I do is live in the real world where it happens. I don't agree with men ogling young girls' bums, of course I don't but get real, they do and that's the way goes.

This argument gets trotted out all the time on MN. Don't blame me, I can't control them and I don't pat them on the back and say well done, so stop projecting your anger onto me.

deffoncforthis · 15/06/2017 17:57

You do wonder why their parents don't tell them to take a look in a mirror.

They probably did.

What I do is live in the real world where it happens. I don't agree with men ogling young girls' bums, of course I don't but get real, they do and that's the way goes.

People look at people, we all look at a nice bum once in a while, perhaps only because it catches us unawares.

As someone who had to keep my eyes firmly fixed to the ground for years or be accused of being some kind of slut or deviant, I hate seeing people deliberately fail to distinguish between seeing and perving.

WishfulThanking · 15/06/2017 18:06

As someone who had to keep my eyes firmly fixed to the ground for years or be accused of being some kind of slut or deviant, I hate seeing people deliberately fail to distinguish between seeing and perving.

What do you mean, deffoncforthis?

IHaveBrilloHair · 15/06/2017 18:09

Ha, last year DD, 15 and I were walking to the shop when we suddenly spotted someone wearing what were surely denim knickers, we looked at each other and laughed.
It turned into a conversation about short/tight etc clothing.
I've no issue with it in any sort of moral way, I just rarely think it looks good.

ProudBadMum · 15/06/2017 18:11

Each to their own. While mankinis are a thing I think shorts are the least offensive item Grin

Barbie222 · 15/06/2017 19:47

Pants worn hanging low with no belt, jail style always make me snicker 'cos I once saw a young urban yoof start crossing the road in front of my car wearing such, and they did actually fall down to his knees!

daisychain01 · 16/06/2017 05:03

I hate seeing people deliberately fail to distinguish between seeing and perving

Who's doing that? A young woman with "arse checks hanging out" will attract attention. That's the bottom line Grin

daisychain01 · 16/06/2017 05:03

arse cheeks

BigYellowJumper · 16/06/2017 05:07

daisy I'm not angry, so don't project your 'anyone who disagrees with me is angry' nonsense onto me.

The tone of your post was quite jocular as if you think that the pervy old guys are just doing their thing and nothing we can do to stop them.
It is not up to young women to police what they wear in order to stop pervy old creeps staring at them. It is up to all of us to tell them they are pervy old creeps.

I find myself perfectly able to glance at someone and notice what they are wearing without then spending time staring at them.

TitaniasCloset · 16/06/2017 05:13

In fairness there are arses everywhere at the moment. I turn on my TV to watch any random program not just music videos and the camera man, I assume a man, zooms in on some young woman's arse. I'm fed up with seeing arses. We are not monkeys or baboons, why has this arse fetish just taken over?

DisorderedAllsorts · 16/06/2017 05:41

Don't people feel hot when they have their flesh out in the full glare of the sun? I think of chicken fillets cooking under a hot grill when I see acres of pale or red skin on display. Surely lots of long floaty layers would keep you cooler or am I missing something?

MissBeehiving · 16/06/2017 05:49

As a fashion, they are not a good look.

daisychain01 · 16/06/2017 06:11

It is up to all of us to tell them they are pervy old creeps

Good luck with that one!

BigYellowJumper · 16/06/2017 06:14

Why daisy ? I tell plenty of guys when they are being creepy.

disordered Some people like the sun on their skin. You don't. What's the big deal with that?

DisorderedAllsorts · 16/06/2017 06:23

BigYellowJumper no big deal just as you pointed out not the way I would choose to keep cool.

People can wear what they like but I'd rather not see their arses or genitals or hairy chests/arm pits. It's a sight and not a pleasant one that I can't unsee once it's been inflicted upon me.

roundaboutthetown · 16/06/2017 07:25

You can't always tell when someone is being creepy. It's not just pervy old men that will stare if you wear something that exposes your arse, chest, genitals or a large expanse of armpit. Both men and women will be stared at, discreetly by most people, if they expose more flesh than expected. It's hard not to stare a bit at someone whose trousers look like they are about to fall down and whose legs look abnormally short as a result. Likewise, it's hard not to stare at someone wearing shorts so tiny, you wonder if they are taking the place of pants and whether their pubic hair ever sticks out. The whole point of this sort of fashion is, surely, to attract attention? Otherwise, something else would surely be more comfortable and practical? This whole thread proves that people will stare.

roundaboutthetown · 16/06/2017 07:34

The leap comes from staring and thinking that you are the person they want to attract. The first is normal and to be expected, and some people staring might find what they see sexually attractive. However, finding someone sexually alluring and expecting them to have or want sex with you are two entirely different things. You cannot censor people's thoughts, though, or gomaround wearing clothes that attract attention and then tell people there is something wrong with them for looking.

roundaboutthetown · 16/06/2017 07:35

(From staring to thinking you are the one they want to attract).

Fiona1984 · 16/06/2017 07:36

Was watching DP and son at a fun run a few weeks ago. Most of the teenage girls taking part had hotpants on for some reason. It just looked weird.
I do own some pole dancing shorts which literally do show half my ass (they have to be very short for your skin to grip the metal), but I'd never wear them in public. I could probably get away with it, my ass ain't too bad lol

IrritatedUser1960 · 16/06/2017 07:39

We have a similar arse cheek display in my street by a very large pensioner. Her husband wears wife beater teashirts and has a camel toe becasue his mini shorts are so tight. Think of the children for Gods sake. This is supposedly a nice area too.

ImogenTubbs · 16/06/2017 07:41

Meh, I live in Mediterranean Spain - women of all shapes and sizes squeeze into tiny shorts come the summer months. I say good luck to 'em. And replying to a PP - no, floaty layers do not make you cooler. On really hot days, the shorter the better so any light breeze can get to your skin (although I don't personally go for the arse-cheek look!).

SensitiveSoinSo · 16/06/2017 07:42

The famous vagina shorts are out in all their glory here at our seaside town. Its what else you get exposed to when the arse cheek short wearers bend over thats too much.
Im like to tell them or alert the vagina short wearers exactly what is visable but im too busy making my catsbum face!

BigYellowJumper · 16/06/2017 07:42

Fiona So...you choose not to wear them. Others do. What's the issue?

round it's quite obvious, no, when someone isn't interested in you looking at them? You glance at someone hot, they glance back and smile, the glancing and smiling continues. The situation is good and everyone is happy.

You glance at someone. They ignore you. You glance again. They ignore you. You glance again. They ignore you. You are now a creepy starer.

It's not that hard to figure out if someone is interested in you, and since the poster above was talking about 'dads with kids' staring at 'young volunteers', I think it is quite easy to figure out that the women involved were not interested.

When I was single, if I saw a hot guy and looked at him a couple of times and he didn't look back, it wasn't that hard to tear my eyes away. I can't think of any time I've 'stared' at someone. Why would I? I go about minding my own business and it sounds like some of you should too.

DeathByMascara · 16/06/2017 07:44

I nearly always do a double take when I see this kind of thing, which is rare north east Scotland, self explanatory

My overriding emotion is normally envy, because I had never, ever been able to have my arse cheeks hanging out of anything! Not without fishermen grabbing their harpoons....

Littlechip · 16/06/2017 07:53

Urgh this argument that it's your right to have your arse cheeks hanging out if you want to and everyone else is being a dirty perv for glancing towards you really annoys me.

It's inappropriate and disrespectful to have your arse hanging out at a riding lesson. Is that not basic common sense? Why is it up to men, or anyone, to avert their eyes lest they get accused of being a perv because someone isn't dressed appropriately for an activity?