is anyone ever fat and happy?

[ICantThinkOfAUsernameH]

I should say straight off that I'm fat and unhappy.
Ive never been happy with my weight and wondered is anyone ever?

also anyone have any tips send them my way

I've lost 3.5 stone ish in the last year, so gone from a size 18 (With not much room)to a 12-14 with a bmi of 25 (just in healthy range). Am I happier? Yes. I feel healthier, physically lighter (I know this sounds silly)and clothes are easier to buy and look better. I wasn't unhappy in my life before losing the weight but being that size bothered me. My clothes didn't fit nicely, I hated being hot and sweaty in summer, I hated that I couldn't wear skirts without tights because my thighs rubbed together and got sore. I love my food and booze too but I am more moderate in what I eat now, there's nothing I won't eat or drink I just don't eat as much of it.

To those who are size 18 ish and say that they are happy as it doesn't impact on their health can I ask how old you are? Ballpark. I'm 37 and felt that if I didn't learn to control my weight now, firstly I never would and secondly, even though it didn't impact my health now I worried it would later in life IYSWIM?

joanslegs - Comments from random men like that are awful. I tended to get 'ugly' rather than 'fat' when I was younger, but one comment could destroy my confidence for weeks. Thankfully now I'm in my 40s I seem to have become invisible and don't get noticed by such idiots.

Is there a reason why you have gained weight (psychological, medical etc.)? Most of my gaining periods have been due to depression, and being in a cycle of comfort eating, gaining weight, not wanting to go out, feeling more unhappy, so eating more ...

for a while I felt miserable and felt fat and it was preventimg me doing stuff - going swimming etc. this was setting a bad example for my girls who were picking up on it so I am doing something about it. I started slimming world 5 weeks ago and have lost 9lbs. I feel happier and more confident already, another 1 and half stone till I reach target weight. I realise the changes I've made are for the long term and in order to maintain my weight I won't be able to gorge how I used to but im ok with that as I feel and look healthier. my ibs has calmed down, my skin is clearing up and Ive got more energy ☺

it won't be easy but if you are unhappy and you're weight is preventing you doing stuff you need to change it. but you have to want to do it for you not anybody else ☺

I've recently lost over 4 stone. I don't feel happier than when I was overweight but I notice every day how differently I'm treated.

People (mainly, but not exclusively men) are so much friendlier now, whereas before they looked through me. I sometimes don't realise that a comment is being made to me as I'm so used to being invisible. I feel more accepted which should make me feel happier, but I feel angry/repulsed that people can be so shallow.

Sorry - bit of a rant

I'm a 16 to 18, at 5'9" I don't look huge but am big.

I'm quite happy. Sure, I'd like to be smaller as I think my face looks better then as much as anything, but I am happy and I like myself.

I'm obese according to bmi, but wear a size 14 at 5 foot 8. I am fat I guess. The sadnesses in my life are nothing to do with weight though.

Asmoto - I know, I can';t beleive people think they can openly comment on someone's appearance, a stranger, on the street. A year or 2 ago, a man I didn't know cut me up really dangerously - I narrowly missed a child coming out of the park by inches. I called the police, he called me all kinds - his main comment was 'you're so fat you''ll never get married'.

It was the worst insult he could think of. The weirdness of it made it less hurtful and more like, what??

A builder working on a neighbours called out to me, to tell me I was a fat cunt.

I was taking ages reversing the other week, a man passing noted that fat bitches can't drive.

It's more common than people think I guess.

I do have depression, diagnosed about 18 years ago. Its well managed at the mo would you believe after pretty much a year long breakdown. Alcohol increased significantly along with the crap eating that inspires; I've always been fat but not this big before.

Most of the time I don't think about my weight/size (18), overall I'm pretty contented, but when I do think about it I would like to be fitter and healthier, so I have been going to the gym and have my first yoga class booked for tomorrow.

I'm fat and very happy.

I'm not the heaviest I've ever been and I'm far from the slimmest, but I'm happy.

It took many years for me to learn to just accept my body for how it is (lots of wobbles, cellulite, scars, stretch marks, fat, change of shape post 3 DC), but ever since I did - I've been happier, and I've even learnt to love my body and feel sexy (something I never thought I would). I found body positivity accounts on Instagram and bloggers to be so helpful, however trivial it sounds.

I come with a history of disordered eating that caused so much self loathing, exercise, binging etc that I spiralled into self harm and self loathing (and gained so much weight) and eventually a suicide attempt. If i can come back from that and have a healthy relationship with food and my body, so can you. This all happened in my teens, and I'm mid 20s now (i was never thin, smallest ive ever been was size 10 and I'm 5ft), but it isn't a teenage issue - my Mum in her 50s still struggles. I don't want to sound preachy, i know how hard it is. But it's possible .

It makes me really sad that so many of you are unhappy.

Eliasor you sound lovely

I think my thing is there is fat, which I have been, and there is obese which I am now - when I was 'just fat' I could deal with it, retained some confidence etc as maybe it was because it was a doable problem, not too dangerous to not sort out. Now I'm in a totally different league it appears insurmountable and there's no happiness there at all.

Fat can be relative I suppose, for all of us. But obese is obese, at least in my head.

One reason I think that I am happy is that I don´t give the tiniest shit what anyone else thinks about me. People make comments? Water off a duck´s back. For me, it´s been one of the great advantages of getting older.

I'm a 16/18, 5'2 and happy. I have a great wardrobe, a nice figure and feel good about myself.

I was happy when I was fat but it wasn't because I was fat. I was happy because I have a happy life. I hated being fat. So I did something about it. Now I'm pregnant and a bit fat again but I'm still happy (and won't be fat forever)

Yes buttercup I know exactly what you mean. The way I'm treated now, predominantly by men, is SO different.

joanslegs, thank you, I try to be . I first loved my body when I was obese (now just overweight, and losing weight - I should add - but very slowly, about 1.5lbs a month), but I really do appreciate how difficult it is - especially when you're constantly reminded of the health issues etc. For me at least, I made a decision to stop weighing myself and just act a little healthier: a little more exercise and a few more veggies, but still not refusing myself anything all the time because that just made me want it more. When I was totally self assured with my body, I weighed myself again. Having the numbers constantly ticking around in your head doesn't help at all. I tried not to think about whether I was obese, over weight or healthy because that didn't matter if I was unhappy :)

I'm sending so many good wishes to all of you that are unhappy and a reminder that your body is beautiful and strong and resilient and all sorts of other nice things.

Thank you all for the replies ❤️

Fat and happy here .

Wake up call for me was when I lost a significant amount of weight, but I felt unhappier than ever with my body. Mostly because weight loss and being healthy made me focus on my body so much, and all I could see was the negative. I think I'd never have been satisfied to be honest.

Put the weight I lost back on (not deliberately, just stopped focussing on diet) and I feel much happier.

It is an individual thing though.

I'm getting there, in terms of being happy and fat. I've spent most of the last 20 years dieting and trying to lose weight and yet I'm now the fattest I've ever been. Instead I'm gradually learning that happiness and how I look don't have to be linked, and though it's hard I feel like I'm starting to get there.

I read a couple of books that I found incredibly helpful and inspiring: Things No-One Will Tell Fat Girls by Jes Baker, and Big Fit Girl by Louise Green. I go back to them whenever I'm feeling shit about my size and they really help.

I'm fat and happy.
Obviously I'd be thinner if it was offered on a plate but I don't spend much time thinking about it, it doesn't make me unhappy.

(And for context I'm a size 22 17 stone now.)

I think a lot of tackling weight issues feels like you're happier because you're thinner when actually it's because you're taking control. I know that I feel happier when I'm using the gym but that's not correlated with any weight loss.

I've been a great weight and overweight. I always find issues with myself. I remember happier times when I was slimmer because I had the confidence to do more, but actually, that's nothing to do with my weight and all about my outlook.

It's all very well being fat and happy, I was fat and happy but ten years later and my health is suffering so now I wish I'd made myself diet. It's spoiling my life as I can't do things that I would have enjoyed.

Makes me very unhappy being very fat. I don't want to find myself in a wheelchair and I already have mobility issues (not due to weight) I might be unreasonable, but I don't see how anyone who is morbidly obese can be happy about being that size. It pisses me off that I can't walk into a shop and buy nice clothes. It pisses me off that I can't walk miles like I used to. So I've gone back to the diet.

Firstly, whatever weight I've been, I've never been really 'unhappy'.

In the past, when I was working, my weight gain was gradual and 'unnoticed' - helped by a fair amount of denial and avoidance of clothes shops!

Then...
I retired. I got a dog. I walk over 6 miles a day. I started dog agility (I even run round the courses!!!)

My weight reduced. Not significantly, because I still like to eat and drink. But I'm certainly fitter than I was 10 years ago.

I know I'm happy with my life and my body weight now, but don't know how much of that is attributable to reduced stress because I'm retired, the fact that I'm 'an older woman' (and therefore invisible) or that I"m living in a place where sartorial elegance is unheard of...

...and I wonder whether I've wasted a lot of my life worrying about my weight.