Shared custody. AIBU to not let ex claim child benefits

[Briannaa]

So my ex and I have decided to have shared custody of our Son. He will have him one week and me the other.

Neither of us will pay maintenance.

My income is too high for me to be eligible to get any tax credits.

He earns £16,000 and would be eligible for quite a bit of money.

AIBU to not let him claim benefits for our son? Can I stop him?

Only one of us can get them and I do not want him to be seen as the 'main carer' in the eyes of the law.

He says he's going to claim anyway as he will be very poor without claiming them.

I currently get them as I was on a lower income last year. The next year I will be ineligible.

Yabu why would you want your son's standard of living to be very low half of the year?

That's a bit odd, the money will benefit your child!! Why wouldn't you want that?

So you won't be able to claim them but don't want him to get them either? That's hardly fair

If he claims them he will become the resident parent by law.

No way am I allowing that.

It will look like he has my son more than me.

But it was ok for you to claim them? It's a 50/50 split and you aren't eligible so why can't he claim them

I'm the mother so I'm the only one eligible to
Claim them anyway I think.

Understand that your ex shouldn't be 'resident parent' but can you come to some deal where DC doesn't go without at any time?

I don't understand. Would you have to pay them back like couples with one high earner do with child benefit?

If not - how does it affect you if he claims them, as you say you aren't eligible for them?

He says he's going to claim anyway

Well sounds like you can't really do anything about it then.

Yabvu he is entitled to them so why wouldnt you want him to have them xx

Are you willing to pay him what he would be entitled to via tax credits?

Your ds father can claim CB and TC and he should.

I'm the mother so I'm the only one eligible to Claim them anyway I think.

The father can claim them it doesn't have to be the mother anymore.

I'm the mother so I'm the only one eligible to claim them is utter twaddle. Don't be so mean to your child and make them poor to spite your ex.

Seriously !! You'd rather see your son have a poorer standard of living for your own selfish reasons
How awful , your poor son
Bet if boot was on the other foot and you were earning far less I bet you'd claim any money you were entitled to

You need to grow up and think of your child's needs not how it 'looks' to random HMRC people who don't give a shit anyway

Confusing. From the post it seems that you would be prepared to let your son live in poverty for half the year because you want to score points.

Let your ex claim what he is entitled to. Also, CB can be claimed by the father, but I presume that your ex is talking about child tax credits etc.

I also don't understand why you wouldn't want your son to have the benefit of extra income at Dads house. Get a legal residence agreement drawn up by a solicitor of you are worried about him being seen as main carer.

So every other week his food bill will higher, and utilities, out goings and expenses. Yes, seems fair

Bet if boot was on the other foot and you were earning far less I bet you'd claim any money you were entitled to

Oh she already is! She just doesn't want him getting it when she is no longer entitled.

Of course yabu. And no you can't stop him.

Can I just ask - is there a reason why your ex being considered the primary carer might be problematic?

I can understand from a purely emotional POV that as his mum, it feels odd, but is that the only reason? Do you have any reason to believe that he might have reason to try and undermine you? Is he likely to try and gain full residency? Is it an amicable split or are there underlying issues?

Okay fair enough.