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Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.

807 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 19:37

Sorry for the delay in starting the new thread but blimey, what a nightmare this is turning out to be Sad

I went round there, Mr NDN let me in and showed me through to the living room where Mrs NDN was on the sofa. I smiled at her and went straight in to my apology about swearing at her and how I shouldn't have done it, that I was just angry and frustrated and that I had lost my temper. I said I had simply been confused about the Nanny's behaviour, her excuses, the mixed up stories etc and that I had let myself get too wound up but that I shouldn't have sworn like I did. I was sincere (because I did mean it) and I genuinely thought she would accept my apology but she went mental on me.

She basically ignored what I'd said and launched into me about how unhappy she was about the fact she'd come home to find her Nanny all upset because apparently I'd been threatening and intimidating towards her!!!!!!

Mrs NDN then said that I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting a young woman so much and that if I had any problems with their Nanny then I should be speaking to her and her DH as the employers, not being aggressive towards the Nanny herself which is a complete U-Turn from what she said to me yesterday!!

I started to try and explain about the parking but she brushed me off and said she knew I'd parked across their drive and that the Nanny had simply made an innocent mistake by parking across my drive again as she'd honestly believed I was at work and that my response to park across their drive had been a total overreaction.

I said to Mrs NDN that yesterday she told me that if I had any issues with the Nanny then I was take it up directly with the Nanny, so why now is she having a go at me for having done doing exactly that?!

It was so bizarre!! Yesterday Mrs NDN was throwing her Nanny under the Bus but during her rant at me she was acting as though the Nanny is all pure and wholesome!

Apparently the Nanny has told the NDNs that she needs some time to think about whether she can continue working with them as she no longer feels comfortable working in an environment where she feels vulnerable!!!

It's absolutely crazy!!!!!
I feel like I'm living on another planet.

Mr NDN didn't really say anything, he just sat there whilst his wife ranted at me.

I'm back home now and have been quite tearful about it to DH. I genuinely wasn't aggressive or threatening to the Nanny, I was just being firm. I feel like I'm now the Bad Guy in this situation and the Nanny is the victim. It didn't even occur to me that I might be upsetting the Nanny when I spoke to her before I moved my car.....I didn't think she was the type of person who could get upset....she's been so bloody unbelievable that I thought she'd be too brass necked to feel intimidated by anyone.

I'm just so shocked and this really wasn't what I was expecting.

My DH is furious and I've had to hold him back from going round there himself. He said the Nanny has obviously just turned on the waterworks to the NDN to save her own skin and portray me as the one being in the wrong to take the focus off what she'd done.

I want to believe him, I can imagine the Nanny probably would be that manipulative but it doesn't make me feel any less crap or upset Sad

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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thatdearoctopus · 13/06/2017 22:05

What will she be doing when you're on maternity leave and not at work, was she planning on parking round the corner all the time then?!

I don't suppose she's thought about that for one moment - nor does she give a shit.

thatdearoctopus · 13/06/2017 22:07

You can stickers that take over an hour to soak off. I would seriously keep on putting them on the nannys car.

I really wouldn't advise that. Would it not count as criminal damage?

Squishedstrawberry4 · 13/06/2017 22:07

The nanny is clearly a manipulative selfish individual. I wouldn't trust her with my kids.

Delilah21D00LoT · 13/06/2017 22:07

Whether the Nanny thought you were out at work all day is totally irrelevant! So does she see it that if you are out all day, then it is acceptable to block access to your driveway? That is NOT okay!

FlyingJellyfishintheAttic · 13/06/2017 22:08

Could you pretend to get CCTV and put a sign saying "smile you're on camera" and another sign stating "legilation X states it is illegal to park blocking driveway, offenders will be towed"?

JaneEyre70 · 13/06/2017 22:09

I'd take a deep breath and relax tonight. Tomorrow is another day, and she'd have to have balls of steel to park there again after today. Fingers crossed.

frogsgoladidahdidah · 13/06/2017 22:10

Please do not touch RN's car!

FlyingJellyfishintheAttic · 13/06/2017 22:13

I've had a feeling from the beginning that the nanny would rather inconvenience you because she's not allowed to park on their drive, and doesn't dare to park across theirs, even for a few hours, because her employer is an aggressive, confrontational bitch.

Could be.

Smilingthru · 13/06/2017 22:13

OP your are awesome!!!!! Don't feel guilty! X

Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 22:18

Thanks everyone for your support Flowers

I'm off to bed now as I feel drained and we'll just see what the morning brings.....

OP posts:
TweedAddict · 13/06/2017 22:18

That dear.

No they are not illegal and because its temporary and non damaging they are fine to use.

I was actually told to use them by my local police officer, when the car booters wouldn't let me out every fucking Sunday morning, because they didn't want pay 20p of parking in the field, but my drive was okay! Police came out every week and put out cones but the car booters moved them as soon as the police went. Stickers it was, then I went for a long walk. I few weeks no more freeloaders.
(My drive was down a private lane, with only my house-think old farm house, sometimes there was 20 cars parked down it!) The fuckers once even took the road gate off the hinges.

lastrose123 · 13/06/2017 22:18

OP thank you for this marvellous post. I don't think you need worry any more the nanny wont be parking on or across your drive and if they loose their nanny it will be because of the nasty person mrs NDN is.

MargotMoon · 13/06/2017 22:26

Just to lighten the mood I saw this today and think it should be employee in every future MN parking dispute by superglueung it to the offending car's windscreen

Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.
piefacedClique · 13/06/2017 22:31

Best thread..... EVER! Don't delete. Please x

MrsR31 · 13/06/2017 22:35

Came across this post tonight and have been reading it for the past hour! Good on you OP for standing your ground. Mrs NDN seems like a total twat, and only panicking now that her nanny has turned on the waterworks. Nanny sounds like a total bitch, hopefully she takes a telling and doesn't do it again. But I'd get the stickers to attach to her car too, a nice big pile of them. They use them at the hospitals here for those not parking in official bays. Bloody nightmare to get off! That should piss her off royaly!

Trudij123 · 13/06/2017 22:37

Next door are idiots. Nanny is a manipulative thoughtless bitch who doesn't give a shit about anyone other than herself.

You, OP are a hero !!!

Inertia · 13/06/2017 22:44

Please don't feel bad. Ndn and Nanny both know that they are in the wrong and neither wants to change their behaviour, so they are trying to intimidate you into backing down. I expect Nanny was scared you were going to grass her up, so got her story in first.

The upside could be that Nanny may have finally realised that her actions have consequences, and stop blocking your drive from now on.

I think you have to avoid going into ndn's house to discussion this though. They can come to you when Dh is there if they have anything else to say.

WoofWoofMooWoof · 13/06/2017 22:52

I've read both threads, and unless I've missed it, has anyone suggested the obvious - park in your driveway close to the flowerbed, but with the nose/back of your car sticking onto the road where she usually parks, so that she can't park there? If that makes sense.

FlowersFlowers for you OP.

NellieFiveBellies · 13/06/2017 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedATrim · 13/06/2017 23:14

I said before on the last thread that you need the four of you together, similar to an Intervention, because then there is no misunderstanding on directions/instructions/expectations and so on, and no one person can play off the other because you will all be present together in the same room. I think that's one step towards the solution.

puddleduckmummy · 13/06/2017 23:19

I read 'Part 1' of your saga, and desperately wanting to find out the instalment, I searched for it, came across a previous (different) thread and I believe I am from the same town as you! This place is full of people like this. Don't let any of them make you feel bad, Mrs NDN sounds like she's got a screw loose xx

tiggersreturn · 14/06/2017 00:00

This has prevented me going to bed but couldn't resist adding my bit too...

Well done for all you've done! People blocking drives is up there on one of the most stressful things in life.

It seems to me there are a number of different interests going on.

Nanny while manipulative and lazy like us all just wants an easy life. Ndns probably have a large role in her not parking in their drive. If they prioritised her they could park round the corner until she left and reparked - a pain but a solution.

Ndns sound difficult but are probably principally concerned about their childcare and just want the problem to go away.

How do you resolve the deadlock so you get out of this situation? Bear in mind you'll live next to these people until they or you move and selling questionnaires contain a question on neighbour disputes that has to be filled in accurately.

My suggestion would be to disengage. No more apologies, no more negotiation. Every time your drive is blocked call the council or police. The council can tow cars away and fine. General rule is your car had to be blocked in. My friend's mother on being told this drove her car over the pavement in a very urban area and called the police again. Do this. If you get more attrition just say you didn't know whose car it was. Don't engage. Pretend the situation isn't going on until they re - opendiscussions or apologise.

Leaking oil into a drain is possibly an environmental offence and another thing to report to the council.

Secondly you asked a question about what they could do. As her employer they are responsible for setting rules and practices. If they have set one which is causing damage (wrecking your paving) by forbidding her from parking in their drive then they can be vicariously liable (would take a bit of arguing). Therefore they do have responsibility.

Hth

myshinynewusername · 14/06/2017 00:01

I'm with those people who think that Nanny is scared of Mrs NDN (but Nanny is also an selfish princess for not parking around the corner).

DoJo · 14/06/2017 00:37

I've read both threads, and unless I've missed it, has anyone suggested the obvious - park in your driveway close to the flowerbed, but with the nose/back of your car sticking onto the road where she usually parks, so that she can't park there? If that makes sense.

Presumably this would obstruct the pavement for passers-by which wouldn't be legal would it?

bluediamonds · 14/06/2017 06:29

Council can put yellow lines across your drive too. That'll stop them!

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