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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.

807 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 19:37

Sorry for the delay in starting the new thread but blimey, what a nightmare this is turning out to be Sad

I went round there, Mr NDN let me in and showed me through to the living room where Mrs NDN was on the sofa. I smiled at her and went straight in to my apology about swearing at her and how I shouldn't have done it, that I was just angry and frustrated and that I had lost my temper. I said I had simply been confused about the Nanny's behaviour, her excuses, the mixed up stories etc and that I had let myself get too wound up but that I shouldn't have sworn like I did. I was sincere (because I did mean it) and I genuinely thought she would accept my apology but she went mental on me.

She basically ignored what I'd said and launched into me about how unhappy she was about the fact she'd come home to find her Nanny all upset because apparently I'd been threatening and intimidating towards her!!!!!!

Mrs NDN then said that I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting a young woman so much and that if I had any problems with their Nanny then I should be speaking to her and her DH as the employers, not being aggressive towards the Nanny herself which is a complete U-Turn from what she said to me yesterday!!

I started to try and explain about the parking but she brushed me off and said she knew I'd parked across their drive and that the Nanny had simply made an innocent mistake by parking across my drive again as she'd honestly believed I was at work and that my response to park across their drive had been a total overreaction.

I said to Mrs NDN that yesterday she told me that if I had any issues with the Nanny then I was take it up directly with the Nanny, so why now is she having a go at me for having done doing exactly that?!

It was so bizarre!! Yesterday Mrs NDN was throwing her Nanny under the Bus but during her rant at me she was acting as though the Nanny is all pure and wholesome!

Apparently the Nanny has told the NDNs that she needs some time to think about whether she can continue working with them as she no longer feels comfortable working in an environment where she feels vulnerable!!!

It's absolutely crazy!!!!!
I feel like I'm living on another planet.

Mr NDN didn't really say anything, he just sat there whilst his wife ranted at me.

I'm back home now and have been quite tearful about it to DH. I genuinely wasn't aggressive or threatening to the Nanny, I was just being firm. I feel like I'm now the Bad Guy in this situation and the Nanny is the victim. It didn't even occur to me that I might be upsetting the Nanny when I spoke to her before I moved my car.....I didn't think she was the type of person who could get upset....she's been so bloody unbelievable that I thought she'd be too brass necked to feel intimidated by anyone.

I'm just so shocked and this really wasn't what I was expecting.

My DH is furious and I've had to hold him back from going round there himself. He said the Nanny has obviously just turned on the waterworks to the NDN to save her own skin and portray me as the one being in the wrong to take the focus off what she'd done.

I want to believe him, I can imagine the Nanny probably would be that manipulative but it doesn't make me feel any less crap or upset Sad

OP posts:
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HotelEuphoria · 15/06/2017 08:41

Glad it all worked out for you OP, and whilst I feel sorry for the Nanny being bullied by Bad Cop and put in a difficult situation re: parking, common sense should have told her that to avoid confrontation with anyone she parks around the corner and uses her legs or parks in front of Good Cop/Bad Cop's house until they are due home from work, then shifts it!

Seems a bit dim to be honest.

Mumsnut · 15/06/2017 08:43

Amazing, isn't it, the double standards?

Nanny parked across your drive - perfectly fine with Mrs NDN.

You parked across NDN's drive - completely unacceptable!!! Nanny, make her move it NOW!!!!!

LakieLady · 15/06/2017 08:45

This thread is giving me second hand rage. Im feeling rather violent towards NN and the NDNs.

Me too! I want to go round and give them both a piece of my mind, possibly followed by a bitchslap.

I'm also horrified that the rude, unreasonable Mrs NDN is a police officer and that she shouts at pregnant women. AIBU to expect better than this from people whose job puts them in a position of authority?

ohfourfoxache · 15/06/2017 08:48

Mrs NDN sounds completely unhinged. And yes, the hypocrisy of it all is breathtaking.

I really hope things start to improve now

Writerwannabe83 · 15/06/2017 09:06

DH just text back to say that as he was getting in his car this morning Mr NDN came out and started to apologise to him about everything that's happened but DH had said it's not him that Mr NDN should be apologising to and then just got in his car.

He's glad it's being sorted though and so as long as Mrs NDN can also move on from it then hopefully things should be back to normal soon.

OP posts:
MrsHathaway · 15/06/2017 09:10

It does sound as though MrsNDN is having a hard time for whatever reason (thin blue line isn't exactly a walk in the park even without having a young baby and a tween whinging at you) although it would have been quite wrong for MrNDN to give you any details - I suspect that's the reason for its feeling like he's dropped her in it.

Mrs NDN who has now agreed that the Nanny can use their drive so long as she gets her leak looked at which she has agreed to do whilst she's off.

Perfect solution. Hope neighbourly relations are soon back to normal though given the rest of the smutty speculation on the thread I read that as his inviting you for a wife swap.

woundedbutwalking · 15/06/2017 09:11

I have used 12% of my phone battery to get through both threads this morning! What an epic story!! I'm very glad the situation seems to have been resolved writer well handled Smile

Reow · 15/06/2017 09:16

I tried not to think about him bending her over the kitchen units when he said that

Grin
HarryDaylight · 15/06/2017 09:17

I hope MrsNDN has the grace to apologise to you.

londonmummy1966 · 15/06/2017 09:22

Really pleased that it has all resolved itself and hope it stays that way. I agree with pp that Mrs NDN might be having a really tough time - she does sound as if she might be losing the plot a bit which isn't uncommon with PND.

Well done OP you have come out of this very well.

LakieLady · 15/06/2017 09:26

Wow, great result, OP.

Mrs NDN clearly a bit of a nutter, Mr NDN gets that she can be utterly unreasonable, Nuisance Nanny a manipulative mare, this thread has everything.

Squishedstrawberry4 · 15/06/2017 09:30

Gosh I quite like Mr NDN. He sounds so rational and perceptive and able to sort things out calmly.

I wonder if Mrs NDN has PND. If this seems out of character for her, it would ring alarm bells.

Also if the nanny is innocent in this, I would probably go out of my way to say hello to her and make her feel more at ease.

RB68 · 15/06/2017 09:35

This makes me worry for our country - if a police officer thinks that the way she behaved was acceptable...what is she like in stressful work situations - she should be able to cope

PuppyMonkey · 15/06/2017 09:36

I think you should get them all round for a BBQ this weekend. Grin

GhostCurry · 15/06/2017 09:38

I love men - this relatively major plot point (Mr NDN comes out to apologise to OPs DH) and he only thinks to mention it now?! Grin

If that had been any one of us, we'd be on the phone to relay this info IMMEDIATELY.

OP, this all sounds very positive. Agree that Mr NDN is a bit of a hero and Mrs NDN is a bit of a blight on the police force. How depressing! She should be ashamed.

steppemum · 15/06/2017 09:40

I actually feel sorry for Mrs NDN.
I am totally on your side op, but something about the way Mr NDN has explained it makes me wonder if she is really struggling in some way, stress of some sort and this has just been the unfortunate incident that has allowed the volvano to errupt.

Glad it is sorted, smile and wave, smile and wave, and move on!

Oldraver · 15/06/2017 09:43

Mrs ndn sounds like a nasty spiteful cow...wonder what she is like at work

ruru1981 · 15/06/2017 09:43

If she can't deal with stress or is suffering with PND then her husband needs to speak to her about having a break from her job.

Writerwannabe83 · 15/06/2017 09:45

I can't believe the saga over a parking spot has lasted 60 pages Grin

OP posts:
flumpybear · 15/06/2017 09:49

Brilliant!! You should make friends with the nanny and get all sorts of gossip out of her lol! Tell her to park on the drive as you won't tell the crazy policewoman next door ... and get those bird and cress seeds ready 😂

iknowimcoming · 15/06/2017 09:54

Not trying to be arsey but the nanny could have parked around the corner rather than over writers driveway couldn't she? Not sure she is entirely innocent - I wonder if she was trying to create a situation in order to force mrs ndn to allow her to park on the drive, in which case, she's done that and could be described as rather cunning Wink

Lostinaseaofbubbles · 15/06/2017 09:54

I'm not feeling hopeful that Mrs NDN will feel the same...

64PooLane · 15/06/2017 09:58

Fantastic update OP.

I feel like this entire thread could be used as a case study in some kind of human psychology course. The dynamics of power, the types of relationships at stake ... it's fascinating.

6demandingchildren · 15/06/2017 10:01

I would buy the nanny a bottle of wine as i would feel terrible for her and even worse that she has a horrible boss, thing is unless you have an adult conversation you never know the other side of it.

glad its resolved xx

KatyBerry · 15/06/2017 10:06

Nanny is so spending her week off in a load of nanny agencies looking for a new job.