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Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.

807 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 19:37

Sorry for the delay in starting the new thread but blimey, what a nightmare this is turning out to be Sad

I went round there, Mr NDN let me in and showed me through to the living room where Mrs NDN was on the sofa. I smiled at her and went straight in to my apology about swearing at her and how I shouldn't have done it, that I was just angry and frustrated and that I had lost my temper. I said I had simply been confused about the Nanny's behaviour, her excuses, the mixed up stories etc and that I had let myself get too wound up but that I shouldn't have sworn like I did. I was sincere (because I did mean it) and I genuinely thought she would accept my apology but she went mental on me.

She basically ignored what I'd said and launched into me about how unhappy she was about the fact she'd come home to find her Nanny all upset because apparently I'd been threatening and intimidating towards her!!!!!!

Mrs NDN then said that I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting a young woman so much and that if I had any problems with their Nanny then I should be speaking to her and her DH as the employers, not being aggressive towards the Nanny herself which is a complete U-Turn from what she said to me yesterday!!

I started to try and explain about the parking but she brushed me off and said she knew I'd parked across their drive and that the Nanny had simply made an innocent mistake by parking across my drive again as she'd honestly believed I was at work and that my response to park across their drive had been a total overreaction.

I said to Mrs NDN that yesterday she told me that if I had any issues with the Nanny then I was take it up directly with the Nanny, so why now is she having a go at me for having done doing exactly that?!

It was so bizarre!! Yesterday Mrs NDN was throwing her Nanny under the Bus but during her rant at me she was acting as though the Nanny is all pure and wholesome!

Apparently the Nanny has told the NDNs that she needs some time to think about whether she can continue working with them as she no longer feels comfortable working in an environment where she feels vulnerable!!!

It's absolutely crazy!!!!!
I feel like I'm living on another planet.

Mr NDN didn't really say anything, he just sat there whilst his wife ranted at me.

I'm back home now and have been quite tearful about it to DH. I genuinely wasn't aggressive or threatening to the Nanny, I was just being firm. I feel like I'm now the Bad Guy in this situation and the Nanny is the victim. It didn't even occur to me that I might be upsetting the Nanny when I spoke to her before I moved my car.....I didn't think she was the type of person who could get upset....she's been so bloody unbelievable that I thought she'd be too brass necked to feel intimidated by anyone.

I'm just so shocked and this really wasn't what I was expecting.

My DH is furious and I've had to hold him back from going round there himself. He said the Nanny has obviously just turned on the waterworks to the NDN to save her own skin and portray me as the one being in the wrong to take the focus off what she'd done.

I want to believe him, I can imagine the Nanny probably would be that manipulative but it doesn't make me feel any less crap or upset Sad

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WoofWoofMooWoof · 14/06/2017 23:19

I don't know Cats - the sexy gardener thread was pretty good too Grin.

GlitteryFluff · 14/06/2017 23:21

Ooh I remember the gardener thread
Wasn't it deleted as they were going on a date?
Did anything else come from it?

loaferloveforyou · 14/06/2017 23:24

I've spent all day (on and off) catching up with this thread and the first one.

I kinda like Mr NDN, he seems the calm and rational one (apart from OP) in this saga - but can also imagine a plot twist where he's shagging the nanny. I hope he's a good guy!

Shadow666 · 14/06/2017 23:26

There was a second follow-up thread to Army Dad but I can't see it now. Maybe it was deleted for privacy.

fabulousfun · 14/06/2017 23:44

Gardener thread....I might be wrong be didn't they get married - maybe I'm dreaming.

Benedikte2 · 15/06/2017 00:41

Not married yet but still very much together.

bluediamonds · 15/06/2017 05:33

OMG just read Army Dad parking thread. What a nightmare. Some people are just arseholes. Hoping your parking nightmare is getting resolved.

ruru1981 · 15/06/2017 07:13

Hi yes I knew you were referring to a different thread but I thought it was the op that was writing on a thread about army dad's lol sorry x

Writerwannabe83 · 15/06/2017 07:34

So no sign of the Nanny again this morning but Mrs NDN has just left for work alone....

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FluffyWhiteTowels · 15/06/2017 07:37

I wonder if they've had to change shift patterns? Might explain her extreme unreasonableness towards you

Pigflewpast · 15/06/2017 07:58

I know it's been said, including by me, but I wouldn't speak to Mr NDN alone, if he comes across I'd say that due to his wife's attitude you're not prepared to speak to either of them without DH there.

onalongsabbatical · 15/06/2017 08:04

Why would they change shift patterns, rather than just let nanny park on drive with a bit of carpet under the car to catch the oil? Or a drip-tray? They'd have to be bonkers, unless the oil dripping is a complete red herring.
Why do they have to be so against their own nanny parking on their own drive, it seems to me that's what it boils down to. If they just sucked that up nanny and OP would be happy, and they'd hang on to their nanny. Is this really about an oil leak? And a bit of car park place swapping at the end of a day? The more I think about it (and boy, I'm thinking about it) the dafter they seem, making all this ludicrous fuss and pissing off and stressing out poor Writer while she's so pregnant. They must be seriously unable to think straight.
Writer, we will need some closure. This cannot be left hanging...GrinGrinGrin

Writerwannabe83 · 15/06/2017 08:06

So Mr NDN has just been round!!

He was really apologetic about the whole thing and said things have blown totally out of proportion.

He told me that when I had parked across their drive the other day the Nanny had phoned Mrs NDN straight away at work to ask what to do about it and during the call, according to Mrs NDN, the Nanny had repeatedly kept saying she'd only parked there because she assumed I'd been at work and had seemed quite upset.

When the NDNs came home the Nanny was a little tearful and spoke to them about that I'd said to her and Mrs NDN had not been impressed hence why she then shouted at me. However, Mr NDN said in all honesty the reason for the Nanny's upset wasn't because of what I'd said to her but because of the difficult position that Mrs NDN is always putting her in regarding not being allowed to park on or across their drive which then resulted in all this fall out. Mr NDN said he had no problem with the Nanny using their drive (hence why she was on it yesterday I imagine) but that his wife doesn't allow it.

Mr NDN said that when I was at their house and being shouted at by his wife, she wasn't whilst angry at me as such, but also a little bit angry at the Nanny for causing this drama but secretly mainly angry at herself because she knew none of this would have happened if she'd just allow the Nanny to use the drive. He acknowledged he didn't get involved in the argument and said it's because he knew his wife was in the wrong but he did apologise for not having stopped her. He said he hadn't realised when he let me in that his wife was going to kick off at me.

Mr NDN said that the Nanny had been round yesterday morning and told him that during her phone call to Mrs NDN about me having parked across the drive his wife had apparently been quite rude and dismissive towards her and told her quite threateningly to "make sure the car was gone" (as in my car) by the time they got home!! This had obviously upset/scared the Nanny and she'd felt in a very difficult position and that's why she was so upset.

He said the Nanny had not used the words threatening or aggressive to describe the conversation I'd had with her and it was just his wife who had decided to accuse me of behaving like that.

Mr NDN also said that apparently the Nanny really does have something wrong with her back. I tried not to think about him bending her over the kitchen units when he said that....

Anyway, so yesterday morning she'd gone round to talk to Mr NDN about it all as she felt unable to talk to Mrs NDN about it on account of her being crazy (my words, not hers) and whilst there she had again said she didn't know if she could continue working for them in light of all this stress. He said he had apologised to the Nanny and had assured her that he'd speak to his wife. He said the Nanny then came over again in the evening to say she was prepared to stay if Mrs NDN changed her ways and allowed her to use the drive.

When he was telling me about the Nanny's coming and goings yesterday it was hard to act like it was news to me seeing as I'd been logging her visits on MN all day Grin

Anyway, Mr NDN has given the Nanny until next week off to allow the dust to settle and he took yesterday and today off to see to the children in her absence.

He has told me that he's spoken firmly to Mrs NDN who has now agreed that the Nanny can use their drive so long as she gets her leak looked at which she has agreed to do whilst she's off.

He then apologised again for the whole fiasco and said he hoped that normal neighbourly relations can be resumed in time when things have settled down a little.

He said that yesterday the Nanny had offered to come round and apologise to me again but I told him, in light of all this information, that an apology is not necessary and that I would much prefer to put the whole thing behind us and move on.

I was a bit surprised he was 'dropping his wife in it so much' but he seemed to want to fully explain the situation rather than give me a half story and he did seem genuinely regretful.

I suppose it explains why he wanted to speak to me alone whilst Mrs NDN was at work yesterday and why they didn't come over together in the evening. I imagine Mrs NDN doesn't know he was planning on speaking to me this morning either.

So yes - what a roller coaster.

From my conversation with Mr NDN it seems that Mrs NDN is clearly a controlling nasty cow, that Mr NDN is a bit afraid of her and that the Nanny probably is the victim in all this because it sounds like Mrs NDN is pretty vile to her really.

During the conversation he implied he and Mrs NDN are both off over the weekend so I suppose the next interesting thing to see is how Mrs NDN will act when she sees me next.

But - I am so relieved that there's light at the end of the tunnel and that it appears we may get a happy ending to this thread!!!

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Writerwannabe83 · 15/06/2017 08:07

Sorry for the length of that post, lol Grin

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ButtonMooooon · 15/06/2017 08:12

Amazing update, length is good said the Nanny to her boss Grin

Glad it appears to be sorted!!

K425 · 15/06/2017 08:14

Writer, that sounds like the best outcome all round!

SaturnBelt · 15/06/2017 08:15

This is progress! I wonder if Mrs NDN is suffering a little after the birth of the second child - you mentioned the baby is about 6 months old? She may well be irrational and angry for various reasons - hormones, going back to work so soon after giving birth, maybe even a touch of PND, stressful job.... if you haven't experienced her being like this in the five years you've known her, then something may be up with her and she's probably finding it (life) all rather difficult to cope with, maybe?

Trudij123 · 15/06/2017 08:21

That sounds brilliant, I quite like mr ndn although he was a bit of a custard before. ( don't blame him!!) Let's hope this is the end of it and you can go back to concentrating on your happy time now !!!

Writerwannabe83 · 15/06/2017 08:21

if you haven't experienced her being like this in the five years you've known her, then something may be up with her and she's probably finding it (life) all rather difficult to cope with, maybe?

That's a good point - she had previously told me she doesn't particularly enjoy the baby stage which is why she went back to work early-ish. I think baby was about 4 months old when she went back.

I'm not going to be an arse when I see her next or deliberately be rude etc - I will just take her as she comes and I think I'll be super sweet to the poor Nanny too. I feel a bit bad towards her now as it genuinely seems like she was just trying to make the best out of a really shitty situation.

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Writerwannabe83 · 15/06/2017 08:27

Grin Grin

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SaturnBelt · 15/06/2017 08:30

Great! I think you could probably start a really meaningful friendship with her, particularly when your baby comes along. I wager you might need each other in these next few months and years - it might be fruitful for both of you and useful to build on it. I've seen the best friendships come out of initial hate-filled incidents actually...

Writerwannabe83 · 15/06/2017 08:32

Me, Mrs NDN and The Nanny could be new BFFs Grin Grin

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Nikephorus · 15/06/2017 08:32

Mr NDN also said that apparently the Nanny really does have something wrong with her back. I tried not to think about him bending her over the kitchen units when he said that....
I nearly disturbed DDog with my loud snorts reading that! Grin
Fab news. Glad Mr NDN has done the decent thing. I can see divorce and remarriage to Nanny in his foreseeable future!

Writerwannabe83 · 15/06/2017 08:40

*I can see divorce and remarriage to Nanny in his foreseeable future!"

Just like Jeremy Kyle Grin

I've text my DH to let him know what's happened and that I think it's the first step in reconciliation. Like I said, he usually hates confrontation so he'll be glad to hear that peace is hopefully going to be restored.

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