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AIBU?

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Original poster

Nuisance Nanny - part 2. The Aftermath.

807 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 13/06/2017 19:37

Sorry for the delay in starting the new thread but blimey, what a nightmare this is turning out to be Sad

I went round there, Mr NDN let me in and showed me through to the living room where Mrs NDN was on the sofa. I smiled at her and went straight in to my apology about swearing at her and how I shouldn't have done it, that I was just angry and frustrated and that I had lost my temper. I said I had simply been confused about the Nanny's behaviour, her excuses, the mixed up stories etc and that I had let myself get too wound up but that I shouldn't have sworn like I did. I was sincere (because I did mean it) and I genuinely thought she would accept my apology but she went mental on me.

She basically ignored what I'd said and launched into me about how unhappy she was about the fact she'd come home to find her Nanny all upset because apparently I'd been threatening and intimidating towards her!!!!!!

Mrs NDN then said that I should be ashamed of myself for upsetting a young woman so much and that if I had any problems with their Nanny then I should be speaking to her and her DH as the employers, not being aggressive towards the Nanny herself which is a complete U-Turn from what she said to me yesterday!!

I started to try and explain about the parking but she brushed me off and said she knew I'd parked across their drive and that the Nanny had simply made an innocent mistake by parking across my drive again as she'd honestly believed I was at work and that my response to park across their drive had been a total overreaction.

I said to Mrs NDN that yesterday she told me that if I had any issues with the Nanny then I was take it up directly with the Nanny, so why now is she having a go at me for having done doing exactly that?!

It was so bizarre!! Yesterday Mrs NDN was throwing her Nanny under the Bus but during her rant at me she was acting as though the Nanny is all pure and wholesome!

Apparently the Nanny has told the NDNs that she needs some time to think about whether she can continue working with them as she no longer feels comfortable working in an environment where she feels vulnerable!!!

It's absolutely crazy!!!!!
I feel like I'm living on another planet.

Mr NDN didn't really say anything, he just sat there whilst his wife ranted at me.

I'm back home now and have been quite tearful about it to DH. I genuinely wasn't aggressive or threatening to the Nanny, I was just being firm. I feel like I'm now the Bad Guy in this situation and the Nanny is the victim. It didn't even occur to me that I might be upsetting the Nanny when I spoke to her before I moved my car.....I didn't think she was the type of person who could get upset....she's been so bloody unbelievable that I thought she'd be too brass necked to feel intimidated by anyone.

I'm just so shocked and this really wasn't what I was expecting.

My DH is furious and I've had to hold him back from going round there himself. He said the Nanny has obviously just turned on the waterworks to the NDN to save her own skin and portray me as the one being in the wrong to take the focus off what she'd done.

I want to believe him, I can imagine the Nanny probably would be that manipulative but it doesn't make me feel any less crap or upset Sad

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
BasinHaircut · 14/06/2017 08:18

Not that you should have to give a shit, but hopefully MrNDN is sorting it all out with NN as his wife clearly has no people skills

Shadow666 · 14/06/2017 08:19

Hopefully, Mr NDN has his rational hat on this morning and will resolve things with the nanny. She's being asked to park around the corner which isn't an unreasonable request. She needs to understand that she should never park over your drive even if you're out.It's not hard to fix this.

Pigflewpast · 14/06/2017 08:19

Just catching up. Wife ndn has been a lot more confrontational than you, and knows it. Trying to blame you is disgusting behaviour.
You are 7 months pregnant yet nanny thinks it's fine to block your car in and not answer door when you need it moving.
You are 7 months pregnant yet her wish to park near her work trumps your need to park on your drive.
Worth getting those points in if Mr NDN speaks to you?
Personally I'd be tempted to ignore and leave to your lovely sounding husband.

Nikephorus · 14/06/2017 08:19

And why they can't just let Nanny park on their sodding drive?!!!!!!!

Shadow666 · 14/06/2017 08:20

It's NOT hard to fix this, rather! Hope he pops round with chocs and flowers later to apologise too.

rizlett · 14/06/2017 08:24

If NuisanceNanny resigns maybe you could be the NewNanny op?

That way you get to park across your own drive and get paid for it.

FakePlasticTeaLeaves · 14/06/2017 08:26

Maybe they're having an affair
Oh Writer, I laughed so loudly at that.

Neutrogena · 14/06/2017 08:26

I'm glad to see that the famed British stiff upper lip is in evidence here, with people crying and falling out over a parking spot...strewth

The rules are the rules - if they are parked illegally, have the authorities deal with it. If not, accept it.
No-one 'owns' the space outside their house if there is no dropped kerb. Just because it makes it difficult to get in/out does not mean others don't have a right to park there.

For example, this van is parked totally legally and the owner of that maroon Ford have no claim to that space.

Example

Foggymist · 14/06/2017 08:28

Neutrogena she has a dropped kerb which the Nanny partially blocks.

Neutrogena · 14/06/2017 08:31

Foggy

Then you keep calling the council/police time and time again until they do something about it.....

flumpybear · 14/06/2017 08:31

Neutro - nanny parks over part of her driveway and she ends up having to drive over her footpath and manoeuvre to get around her because neighbours don't let nanny park on their driveway or in front of it, so they inconvenience OP instead

flumpybear · 14/06/2017 08:31

Oh and the neighbours are both police officers

Redsippycup · 14/06/2017 08:38

No Neutro - normal people say 'so sorry to bother you, please could you move your car, I can't get out of my drive'

The normal reply to that is 'oh! I'm so sorry, i didnt realise, i will move immediately'

Not to continue doing it and then get unbelievably shitty when asked to move.

It is also not normal to phone the police or council when you know who's car it is.

HTH.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 14/06/2017 08:41

Well I'm going out at 9.30 to have a day out with my friend and her children so hopefully I will avoid any confrontation. Our day out will hopefully distract me from thinking about Mrs NDNs rant!! I'm hoping though that she'll simmer down a little bit today though. I won't be trying to apologise to her again though, she threw it back in my face yesterday so I'm just going to stay out of her way as much as possible.

OP posts:
Neutrogena · 14/06/2017 08:45

flumpybear
While I can understand it's frustrating if someone does what the nanny does, if they are not breaking any laws then you need to accept that some people are twats and move on.
I agree that kindly asking someone not to do it is the first step, but if they ignore it, then you need to ignore it to and get on with your life.

OP has got herself into a right state about PARKING! It's just so daft.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 14/06/2017 08:46

Just seen Nanny leave with the 8 year old boy so I'm guessing she has agreed to stay in post if she's taking him to school whilst Mr NDN is in the house with the baby. At least that's one less thing for me to worry about.

OP posts:
Neutrogena · 14/06/2017 08:47

Redsippycup
No Neutro - normal people say 'so sorry to bother you, please could you move your car, I can't get out of my drive'. The normal reply to that is 'oh! I'm so sorry, i didnt realise, i will move immediately'. Not to continue doing it and then get unbelievably shitty when asked to move.

You're assuming everyone is normal and reasonable, which they clearly aren't.
You won't be able to change people like this, so you need to accept it.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 14/06/2017 08:48

I agree that kindly asking someone not to do it is the first step, but if they ignore it, then you need to ignore it to and get on with your life.

So you think it's ok that I should have to be continually inconvenienced and also be forced to damage my own property if I want to use my own drive?

I should just accept that and get on with it?

OP posts:
TheDowagerCuntess · 14/06/2017 08:54

I agree that kindly asking someone not to do it is the first step, but if they ignore it, then you need to ignore it to and get on with your life.

You might need to. Most others need to do no such thing.

IHateUncleJamie · 14/06/2017 08:55

Neutrogena the whole point is that the Nanny IS breaking the law by obstructing the OP's driveway which has a dropped kerb. Might be an idea for you to RTFT?

IHateUncleJamie · 14/06/2017 08:55

You won't be able to change people like this, so you need to accept it.

Er no, you don't.

PaintingOwls · 14/06/2017 08:57

This thread is giving me second hand rage. Im feeling rather violent towards NN and the NDNs.

IHateUncleJamie · 14/06/2017 08:58

A vehicle causing obstruction is (among other things) a vehicle (which) may have been parked in front of a driveway blocking access to private or public property.

Simple. No need for the OP or anyone else to "ignore it".

diddl · 14/06/2017 08:58

"It wouldn't have happened at all yesterday if NannyFromHell hadn't been such a selfish thoughtless tosser in the first (and second, and third) place"

Oh yes, of course.

Nanny not being there to move her car also shows that the telling her everytime to move it to inconvenoience her wouldn't necessarily work either.

So, she is there today & currently parked elsewhere.

Where will she park after the school run I wonder?

Longtime · 14/06/2017 09:01

Neutro, it's not about parking though, is it? It's about the fact that the nanny has no respect for writer and is clearly taking the piss. No, OP, you should not just accept it and get on with it. We had a particular family doing this to us. When I challenged them about it they said "but you only have one car (we live two minutes from a metro station) and we have four and a van", as if that's my problem! The council painted a small yellow line for us. A few months ago the yellow line disappeared. Fortunately said family now rent a garage so they are no longer a pain. I have contacted the council to ask what happened to the line and they appear to have no idea. I'm wondering if it wasn't the council that painted over it.