Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

to expect DP to do something useful during his lunch break?

115 replies

LottieG100 · 13/06/2017 14:17

If DP isn't working away, he's usually close to home or working from home and has 1-1.5 hours lunch break. If he's working close to home and I'm not going to be home with our 2 year old for lunch he stays at work and plays on his phone. If he's working from home he does the same.

Today I took one DC to school, one to swimming and the third to the doctor then had to do the food shopping. I'd put washing in the machine before I left and there was washing up to be done from this morning. I hadn't had a chance to walk the dog yet so he was itching to get out. I didn't tell DP I wasn't going to be home as I was too busy and forgot but after having arrived home, I can see he's been home for lunch briefly, left more washing up, not put the washing out or even just thrown a ball for the dog in the garden.

I know he deserves a bit of a break but I certainly don't get an hour to sit on my phone and play which he did after leaving the dog and going back to work. AIBU to stay home even if we're not here and to make himself useful?

OP posts:

Buck3t · 14/06/2017 10:22

Does it really only take 5 minutes to load a machine? (misses point of thread)

joannegrady90 · 14/06/2017 10:27

YABU

Sounds as though you resent your DH for working whilst your stuck at home with the kids.

I understand one is disabled but can you find a job yourself? Are they school age?

BandeauSally · 14/06/2017 10:32

Takes less than 5 minutes IME.

Buck3t · 14/06/2017 11:04

I guess it must take longer if you don't do it often. By the time, I've sorted out the whites, lights and darks, that has taken me 20 minutes. Then to put it in and figure what wash I want. Yeah, I've come to the conclusion, if you do it often, it's only 5 minutes. If like me you do it only when DH is away, it takes a lot longer.

BandeauSally · 14/06/2017 11:19

20 minutes! how much washing is there??

Believeitornot · 14/06/2017 18:28

guess it must take longer if you don't do it often. By the time, I've sorted out the whites, lights and darks, that has taken me 20 minutes

Surely you just pull out the colours that you're washing. Takes one minute to pull out all the whites for example. Then another to put in the machine and add powder and the programme etc.

Believeitornot · 14/06/2017 20:07

guess it must take longer if you don't do it often. By the time, I've sorted out the whites, lights and darks, that has taken me 20 minutes

Surely you just pull out the colours that you're washing. Takes one minute to pull out all the whites for example. Then another to put in the machine and add powder and the programme etc.

HerOtherHalf · 14/06/2017 20:15

I work from home and get a 1 hour break. I manage to fit in walking the dog, doing any dishes, emptying the bin if needed, quick hoover in the lounge (dog hair means it's an essential daily task) and still have time for a bite to eat. I don't consider myself exceptionally engaged with the housework so no, YANBU.

BeepBeepMOVE · 15/06/2017 12:17

I think 5 minutes is generous! I empty washing basket onto bathroom floor, pick out all of one whites, colours or darks, chuck everything else back in washing basket. Chuck the whites, colours or darks in machine with soap stuff and tell machine to wash. I do 2 clothing washes a week.

How does that take 20 minutes?

Buck3t · 15/06/2017 12:56

We have two baskets one upstairs and one downstairs.

We have to separate the whites, the colours and the darks (and god forbid there are any reds). We go to the gym alot and work out of the home so aren't wearing the same clothes all the time. No way would we get away with two washes.

Whites are more than one load, darks are more than one load, sometimes there is not a whole load for reds but there will definitely be for the light greys, greens and blues (that, no cannot go in with Whites). Then I have to figure out how to use machine the correct setting for the machine. That is definitely 20 minutes.

If I don't separate everything out like that then whites end up getting left (odd socks) and I find it easier to come back and get the next load rather than sorting through it all again for the colours and darks.

I'm also a bit funny about setting out my shopping in the correct order on the conveyor and ask the assistant not to start running it through until I'm done, but that's another story (damn and I thought my DH was a tad OCD)

Definitely 20 minutes

Hellothereitsme · 16/06/2017 19:40

(1)Rummage in laundry baskets
(2) pull out white clothes
(3) put in washing machine
(4) add soap
(5) put machine on

If I have too much I put the rest back in basket until I'm ready to do another was.

5mins at the most.

My clothes look ok. I don't end up with pinky whites. My coloureds all go in same wash.

Birdsgottaf1y · 16/06/2017 20:42

OP, I've read your other posts.

What is keeping you with your Partner?

He doesn't care about you and doesn't care for his children.

Legma37 · 17/06/2017 05:33

Wannabe What fascinating and patronising responses you have made.

Motherbear26 · 18/06/2017 10:57

Was going to comment about making time for yourself, but having just glanced at your other threads I'm wondering what on earth your partner does contribute. Why are you still there?

Motherbear26 · 18/06/2017 10:59

Look, you can either stay and keep complaining about how hard done to you are (and I completely agree that he's a fuckwit and totally in the wrong) or you can make a change now. He gives you very little money and absolutely no practical help or support. You would be better off alone. LTB.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5