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AIBU?

Turner away from nursery

154 replies

Mulch · 12/06/2017 12:17

I don't know if it's my pmt and I've not had breakfast yet but I've just been to view a nursery to be told they can't show me around and to come back later as their having lunch.

Reason why I ask is after working In a care setting, it didn't matter how busy we were or what we were doing if someone came to visit we'd juggle things round to make time for them. People could turn up at any time.

OP posts:
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SerfTerf · 12/06/2017 16:03

But why are you having a go at OP for starting the thread then?

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stuckinthehouse · 12/06/2017 16:06

I would be impressed at their commitment to put the needs of the kids first (imo ensuring that the staff get a proper break at the necessary time is of huge benefit to the children)

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expatinscotland · 12/06/2017 16:09

Erm, probably the same reason you are taking this so personally, Serf. Hmm. It's AIBU, welcome. I don't do personal argy bargies on these anymore, derails/merails are tedious, so I'll be ignoring your getting personal from now on. Take it to PM if you'd like.

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SerfTerf · 12/06/2017 16:12

I'm not taking it personally at all @expatinscotland I'm just a bit bewildered at the response OP has got and trying to decide how to interpret it.

And beyond bewildered that you've given her a telling off for posting. So I remarked on it. It just seemed odd.

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HateSummer · 12/06/2017 16:16

I'm just a bit bewildered at the response OP has got and trying to decide how to interpret it.

You don't think it's common sense not to visit someone at lunch time? Would you visit a friend at exactly lunch time when she wasn't expecting you? Don't know about you, but I time my visits so not to burden friends and family, unless they of course blatantly invite me to dinner/lunch.

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NotYoda · 12/06/2017 16:16

OK, their advert is a bit misleading, but were they rude to you? Did they seem shifty?


On its own, I don't think this signals anything other than your literal interpretation of the website

My kids didn't go to Nursery, but I work in a school and no adult would be allowed to visit without an appointment, so I am a bit surprised the advert even says this.

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NotYoda · 12/06/2017 16:18

Actually SandyDenny said exactly what I meant

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PossumInAPearTree · 12/06/2017 16:19

Lunch breaks are generally unpaid. If I was sat in the staff room and my boss interrupted me when I wasnt getting paid and asked me to do something she would get a Paddington Bear stare for sure.

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NotYoda · 12/06/2017 16:21

Possumin

Don't you care about prospective parents and their children and their at all ? Wink Grin

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Cutesbabasmummy · 12/06/2017 16:21

I wouldn't be happy if my son's nursery showed people round at lunchtime. He is an awful eater and gets distracted anyway so someone new coming in would make it worse. Also little one nap after lunch so that could be another reason?

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NotYoda · 12/06/2017 16:21

Too many words! You get the gist!

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SerfTerf · 12/06/2017 16:23

You don't think it's common sense not to visit someone at lunch time? Would you visit a friend at exactly lunch time when she wasn't expecting you?

That's WHY I'd make one of visits around that time, to see how good the care is when things are at their busiest.

As I say, I've done it that way for four children now over two decades, the last very recently and it's been welcomed by many of the settings including the three we've used. Good settings are well aware of that rationale, hence the "visit any time, appointments not necessary" blurb.

I thought this was common parenting knowledge. I'm a bit taken aback that so many parents take the opposite view TBH.

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StatisticallyChallenged · 12/06/2017 16:36

The thing is that even if a setting would normally be fine with an anytime visit, stuff can happen which means that it becomes troublesome on a particular day or time. If you have more staff than usual off sick then even if it's your normal approach it might not be possible on any given day. Someone quite unexpectedly- or has to be let go, someone on holiday then a bug does the rounds and takes out one or two staff, or somebody's granny dies and even a well staffed nursery can find themselves without the extra staff to be doing showrounds

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HateSummer · 12/06/2017 16:59

I thought this was common parenting knowledge. I'm a bit taken aback that so many parents take the opposite view TBH.

😂

So your nurseries have never invited you for an hour or two hours stay DURING lunch time another day where you can get a feel for the nursery WITH your child at a busy time? If they're disorganised on a normal day, they won't magically become prim and perfect on the day you visit. It's hard to be something you're not.

This whole "catching them out" mentality is just strange. Every parent I know has sent their child to a nursery on recommendation. Why you need to visit at a busy time and further rock the boat is beyond me.

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GreeboIsACutePussPuss · 12/06/2017 17:03

looking at when you posted, I suspect when they said they're having lunch they meant the children were, it's all hands on deck at lunchtime so there aren't likely to be any staff free to show you around. When I was working in a nursery my lunch break used to be at 1, after the children had eaten, I'd interrupt my own lunch to show a parent round but there's no way I'd be showing anyone round while trying to get 20 children to eat their lunch because with lots of little children you need as many eyes on them as possible or they start helping themselves to each others food, hiding bits they don't want and/or wearing their lunch.

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SerfTerf · 12/06/2017 17:07

I don't really understand the question @HateSummer

I've always done two visits on my own at different times and trial sessions too with my child if it seemed to be a goer. Just thoroughness.

Like I say. I thought that's how everyone did it. Obviously not. I've learnt something today. More than one way to peel an onion, as they say Smile

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Trifleorbust · 12/06/2017 17:28

I imagine they normally do honour what it says in the website. Today they couldn't. Not the end of the world.

I personally think an appointment should be needed.

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OddBoots · 12/06/2017 17:35

At lunch time there will be staff having their own lunch and the children will potentially need a more staff intensive ratio in order to properly support the children and keep them safe.

There is a very good chance there is not someone free to show someone around and the idea of letting someone sit and watch as if the staff and children are zoo exhibits seems an odd one. I wouldn't want my child's nursery to let a stranger in unless they had at least one member of staff available to keep a very close eye on the stranger.

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NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 12/06/2017 17:48

I don't really get the child protection angle of this - regardless whether an appointment is made or is a walk-up, there is still a stranger in the nursery and that stranger is still absolutely accompanied by a member of staff at all times. Really not buying the idea that the nursery 'check the person out' between booking and turning up!

That said, I think visits should be minimally disruptive and therefore yes, booked, and not during mealtimes. The priority has to be the care of the children attending. I find a nursery prioritising their wellbeing, comfort and dignity to be far more revealing of their practice than any number of 'turning up unexpected' visits.

However, they shouldn't say 'drop by' on their website if that's not always the case. How are you even to know when lunchtime is? When my son was in the baby room they had lunch at 11.30, which I think suited the children perfectly but as a child-free prospective parent I'm not sure I would have guessed that 11.30 was a mealtime!

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Kidssendingmenuts · 12/06/2017 17:59

Firstly you can't just walk in off the street into a nursery and say you want to look round, there are safeguarding rules in place to protect the children that are in nursery. Secondly they need to make sure there is a member of staff available to show you round and answer questions, never mind juggling people round, those people are there to look after our children and keep them safe and help them play and learn, not to show around some randomer off the street who demands to look round there and then.
I'd be pretty pissed off with my daughters nursery if this happened and there ended up been a staff shortage in a room because of it.
My daughters nursery wouldn't even let you in the door as you have to press a buzzer so they can check who you are otherwise anyone could walk in and snatch a child.
Not allowing you in shows they care about the kids and are keeping them safe. If you don't understand this and want to cross what is potentially a safe environment off your list for your child then do so.

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MissHavishamsleftdaffodil · 12/06/2017 18:27

Good grief what a storm in a tea cup.

Multiple posts explaining why, on this day, the nursery might have had to say no can do, and please come back later.

If you are really this thrown by a generalised statement on the website not being proven right at the exact, precise moment you tried it, and you can't accept there are any days or circumstances in which they should not be obeying the precise wording on their website no matter what, then fine. This nursery isn't for you, is it?

What do you want to happen here?

You can complain to them - I'm sure they'll apologise and offer to show you around. You won't get anything more than that. They're a private business like many other childcare private businesses in your locale, if you don't like how they've treated you cross them off your list and take your custom to another one.

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Brittbugs80 · 12/06/2017 18:29

Kidssendingmenuts

Staff in rooms are just that. In the rooms. It's always the Manager or Deputy (who don't count in ratios) that do show rounds.

In 20 years I've never encountered a nursery where you go in the front door, straight into the children's rooms. If they do, that would be the biggest concern, not the show rounds.

I was forced into whistle blowing and reporting an Outstanding nursery to Ofsted who subsequently got put into special measures. They made appointments only for show rounds and it looked amazing. I got the same tour on my interview.

Upon starting, I was shown the diary where they had all the show rounds due in (around two a day). Then I was shown planning for the room which was blank except for show round times. This was passed off as child led activity time.

The first show round was due at 10 and the room was set up, looked busy, staff were interacting (baby room 4 staff for 9 children) as soon as the show round went, two members off staff left the room, one went to do folders, the other went back to preschool, the other took the baby off her lap, sat her on the floor and went and sat on a chair and began to chat to me about she had hangover from last night and struggled getting up. She shouted twice at crying babies.

The same week, two children from the present school got locked in the garden as no one checked they had come in. The nursery actually used it's outstanding safeguarding and no entry policy as a selling point.

That's why I question having to make appointments to suit.

I've been in hundreds of nurseries over the years and never encountered one that's appointments only apart from the one I worked in and it was awful and not a true reflection.

Some parents do show up and ask to be shown round, we never send them away. They get their info and ID taken and treated the same as if they had phoned and booked 10 mins earlier.

Can someone please explain, as nobody seems able, why a phonecall makes it safer? Anyone? If someone was planning to hurt or do anything in a nursery, they could do it on a prebooked appointment as easy as a show round, especially if they were intending to harm or take a specific child/member of staff.

I've encountered more trouble and strife with seperated parents arguing at nurseries, trying to stop the other taking the child and getting grandparents involved than I have from a stranger trying to get in.

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BoraThirch · 12/06/2017 18:39

Appointments or not is a bit irrelevant.

Staff need to prioritise the children in their care over showing adults round. A large number of very young children need to have their lunch, get cleaned up, nappy changed/toileted and soothed to sleep.

Maybe usually this nursery has a spare adult at lunch time but today they didn't, so offered for you to come back at a more convenient time. No big deal.

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RaspberryOverloadsOnIcepops · 12/06/2017 19:10

The thing is that even if a setting would normally be fine with an anytime visit, stuff can happen which means that it becomes troublesome on a particular day or time. If you have more staff than usual off sick then even if it's your normal approach it might not be possible on any given day. Someone quite unexpectedly- or has to be let go, someone on holiday then a bug does the rounds and takes out one or two staff, or somebody's granny dies and even a well staffed nursery can find themselves without the extra staff to be doing showrounds

I'd agree here. Perhaps the nursery would normally be happy for unannounced visits, and for whatever reason couldn't accommodate that today, at what would be a busy time.

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GoldilocksAndTheThreePears · 12/06/2017 19:19

I've worked in several nurseries and never once in one with a staff lunch time. Lunchtime = the kids are eating, not staff. It was usually rota'd in a way to cover everything, kids leaving and arriving, morning or afternoon staff leaving or arriving and doing all the handovers. Break was after or before if all-day staff, you'd get told on the day for some, weekly rota at others. What do people think happens to the children if all the staff pop into another room at the same time! Meal times are the busiest times, all hands on deck.

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