To ask people to stop swearing so much

[user1497264327]

Frankly, the language of some of the posters on this site is disgusting and I wonder if they talk like this in front of their children. I also wonder if their parents would be proud of how they post on the internet. Swearing every time isn't big and it isn't clever. It makes people come across as uneducated chavs.

AIBU to ask people to clean up their act and stop swearing?

Most of the time there is swearing it's not AT posters it's in response to something that's happened to a poster.

No one is advocating running around swearing every time we open our mouths in RL. We are quite capable of having conversations without saying fuck every few seconds. It's really patronising to lump everyone the same just because of the odd swear word.

My mum didn't swear as a rule just once in a blue moon when pushed to the limits by her illness. Doesn't mean I have to spend my life not swearing either.

There's little swearing at people because we're not allowed to tell people to fuck off directly. If we were, we would. Imo.

We used to, pictish. But then people got offended.

Haha, Google it, but tons of articles over the past few years say smarter people swear more.
We're all a bunch of fucking geniuses on here op.

Well I don't swear, DH doesn't and neither do the kids. We're in our early 40s - I can't think of any friends who I've ever heard swearing. None of the men I know would do so in front of women, if at all. We don't live in a non-swearing enclave btw, it's Central London.
It's incredibly naive to think swearing is the norm and that anyone who doesn't like it should just "get over themselves". People have the right to not be impressed by swearing, just as others have the right to think it's part of everyday communication. Even if I did swear, I wouldn't presume to inflict it on other people.
If you want to swear go ahead, but don't try and justify it as a social norm or fool yourself that it doesn't affect other people's perceptions of you. Whether you like it or not, it does.

I think you can argue your points without descending to swearing.

There it is again - the 'resorting to/descending to' language. Backs up my earlier argument.

Your other argument seems to be 'some people who aren't very nice or aren't very bright swear a lot, therefore all people who swear aren't very nice or very bright. It's the 'Hitler was a vegetarian' argument. Devoid of logic.

Personally, I feel that people who pepper their with 'fucking' add a pleasing lyrical bounce to the English language that more than compensates for any assumed lack of vocabulary. I think the way the additional two syllables add to the rhythm gifts it an almost poetic flow.

Then inevitably, as I listen in my mildly condescending content, they will use an incredibly apt polysyllabic confection ideal to the context, reminding me not to be such a silently patronising cunt.

The singing cat, sorry Elgato, the point is that we don't care about people who judge us. Neither we don't limit ourselves by not swearing and judging those that do, or don't.
Oh look, the sweary one speaks another language, too!

You may try and convince yourself that you don't care about people who judge you, but you should care about causing offence.

I'm sure if people insisted on using racist or sexist language because it's "just words" or simply because they can, you would be offended and uncomfortable. I'm telling you that many people DO feel uncomfortable or sickened by incessant swearing as well. Can you not accept that?

It has nothing to do with education . It's basic manners and consideration and you don't need a degree to grasp that.
Most of all it's boring. For the most part people will just be humouring you.

If you get into a train carriage and there's a group of men swearing away and you know you and everyone else are going to be stuck with that for the duration, do you challenge them and ask them to tone it down? Do you try and "keep it real" and laugh it off? Or do you just let them claim the space and suppress your disgust?

Do you try and "keep it real" and laugh it off?

Absolutely this. Me and DD would have a little chortle about it then not give it another thought.

I have to say though on an anonymous forum the onus should be on the person who is "offended" (really....?) to take themselves elsewhere rather than police other people's language.

Your analogies with racist/sexist language don't stack up - sex and race are enshrined in law. The chance to not hear the odd "fuck" isn't.

If you get into a train carriage and there's a group of men swearing away and you know you and everyone else are going to be stuck with that for the duration, do you challenge them and ask them to tone it down? Do you try and "keep it real" and laugh it off? Or do you just let them claim the space and suppress your disgust?

Or I ignore it as I don't really care?

you should care about causing offence Are there truly grown ups so prim that they are genuinely insulted by the odd fuck?

Yes there are pax. Millions of them all around you, including from other cultures. Are there truly grown adults who are so arrogant that they refuse to accept that?

I'm sure if people insisted on using racist or sexist language because it's "just words" or simply because they can, you would be offended and uncomfortable.

Can you explain to me how swearing is analogous to racist and sexist language, and in particular which entrenched power imbalance dynamic is in play?

If you get into a train carriage and there's a group of men swearing away and you know you and everyone else are going to be stuck with that for the duration, do you challenge them and ask them to tone it down? Do you try and "keep it real" and laugh it off? Or do you just let them claim the space and suppress your disgust?

I have no idea what 'keeping it real' involves, so putting that aside...

It depends. Are they swearing away quietly and appropriately to their environment, in a manner that does not intrude upon the journeys of others, in no louder tones than other conversations happening, and moderating their language if there are children present? Or are they being loud, boorish, and antisocial?

In the former case, I dare say I'd not notice. In the latter, I'd dea with them in the same way as I'd deal with any people behaving in a loud and intrusive way on public transport. First, assess the level of risk and if the risk was acceptable to me, ask them to tone it down.

Again, you are conflating 'people who are behaving unpleasantly' with 'people who swear' into a single category. Which... no. Quite a transparent approach argument but still failing the logic test.

I'm still no clearer why a group of adults should stop swearing on a forum for adults where swearing is generally judged to be acceptable.

Elgato, for heaven's sake, many of us have quite clearly stated that we are aware when and where it is appropriate to do so. Honestly, it's really hard not to dismiss a number of people on this thread with a 'grow up'.
People that use supposed taboo language do so in general, not to cause offence, but to make a point, or express frustration. Most of us use the orthophemistic most of the time. However, should we choose to use the dysphemistic, we're adults. Your logical fallacy with regard to sexist and racist language is a non sequitur.

I grew up in a dictatorship without free speech. I value the freedom to be able to say what I want. So therefore, people who want to censor my speech will be among the very few at the receiving end of a "fuck that".

To me a lot of swearing is misogynistic. You can talk about reclaiming the c word or whatever, but that word provokes a gut reaction in me that I experience as sickening. Do you want me to pretend it doesn't?

We live in a predominantly Middle Eastern area. Try throwing some choice language around in their homes or in public spaces around here and tell me it doesn't cause offence.

You use the word boorish and yes, that is exactly how many people experience it, even if they're not actually insulted.

I don't print off MN threads for the street, so your middle eastern neighbours won't see. Censorship is abhorrent, no matter what culture. Try living in a country like that.

ElGato you are being deliberately obtuse now, aren't you.

I'm not being obtuse. I'm being honest about how I genuinely feel. I am far from being the only one. I don't know a single person who would use such language, anonymously or otherwise. That is the truth.

Even my teenagers are aware of how using certain language on their forums can cause offence.

Anyway, nothing I say will make any difference obviously. Just never presume everyone reacts the same as you because they do not.

I don't know a single person who would use such language, anonymously or otherwise. That is the truth.

No it isn't. That is the nature of anonymity. I am one of your nice, prim friends in RL for all you know.

Anyway, nothing I say will make any difference obviously. Just never presume everyone reacts the same as you because they do not.
If you have such a visceral reaction to the use of taboo language; one has to ask why on earth you're on a forum that allows it?

Other languages are so much more imaginative in their swearing.

Take Arabic for example. Kiss Ommack literally means 'your mother's cunt'. Not everybody has a father but everyone has a mother so not only are you insulting the person you are swearing at but you are also insulting their mother.

Or there's also the classic Aabe ha was. Somalia for 'fuck your father'. Very very baaaaaaaaad if you know that Somali culture places significance on the father of the family being the most important person in the family unit and to insult the honour of the father is to bring disgrace on the whole family. Plus who would fuck their father?

English swearing just ain't the same, so you've got nothing to worry about there OP.

Funnily enough, I come on MN for the same reasons as the vast majority of posters and it's definitely not as an excuse to use "taboo language".
I would just prefer if certain words weren't used so prolifically. As I said, if not offensive, I find it boorish.
Why is that so difficult to accept?

Try throwing some choice language around in their homes or in public spaces around here and tell me it doesn't cause offence

That isn't the same thing.

Virtually everyone on this thread has said they're fully conversant with being able to not swear, it is just that on a forum where the whole basis is anonymity, it is nonsensical for people to try and police other adults.

It is well known that MN doesn't censor swearing - if that's an issue then maybe another forum that does might better suit the needs of someone who is offended by the written word