To check into a hotel?

[mashitupp]

Got background married, have DS13yo and DS10mo. Have mild PND on meds. Baby is poor sleeper, wakes twice a night and husband works away a lot/ does long hours.

Today feel exhausted but house is a mess/ needs cleaning. I say to DH I feel like having a nap (with the baby) how do u feel about doing the cleaning while I nap? Bearing in mind he has only ever done a full house clean ONCE and does very little cleaning. He agrees.

I feed the baby at 1530 and he falls asleep. I fall asleep after feeding baby. We both wake up at 6.

Goes downstairs, no cleaning done DH playing on phone. Asked him what he been doing he says I cleaned behind the oven and hoovered downstairs. 😡

Feel a bit miffed because he agreed to do cleaning but hasn't done any of the actual house cleaning that you can see, i.e. Internal glass, floor
Mopping, bathrooms/ toilets, general moving away of mess.

Then he says he's doing some gravel raking in the garden and heads outside. So I start cleaning with a cloth in one hand and baby in the other.

Decide to go outside and tell him how
miffed I am that he hasn't done any of the house cleaning and just cleaned behind the oven that no one can even see, and he says "if you've just come out to have a go at me don't bother".

So I ask him why can't I talk to him about this? Why can't I tell him in miffed off? He says same thing so I just go indoors, carry on cleaning for 10 mins ish. Fuming.

Then I decide to go out. Ask DS1 to come into loving with baby for a few mins, tell him DH is in back garden and after that this cartoon ends take baby to DH.

Drive off.

Cue panicking call from DH where are you? When are you coming back? Etc.. told him I'm out and I'll be back in a bit 🙊

I know this isn't exactly worst thing in world but I'm pissed off, DH does very little housework, cooking, shopping, baby minding, clothes organizing, school stuff, nursery stuff etc etc. For once I wouldn't have to clean/ do EVERYTHING and he hasn't done it then told me I can't be mad about it!! AIBU to just check into a hotel for the night and let him just fucking deal with everything?

*living room not loving

Nope. Sounds fair.

Yes enjoy.

Do it.

Do it.. do it for all of us that never had the balls too

Eezer 😂

In fact can I join you.that exactly what I Should be doing today...problem is ,I'd never go back.

How would your children cope without you? If they're happy with daddy for the night then that's great and you should have a break! I just know my baby at 10mo would never have coped.

Cheesy DS1 couldn't care less, DS2 is happy to be put to sleep / dealt with by anyone as long as he can't see me, if he knows that I am there he wants me if I am not there he will take anyone

I'd do it in a heartbeat!

Do it!

Check in and order a bottle of wine and something lush from the room service menu and have a quiet night all to yourself.

God I'm jealous! Considering starting an argument with DH so i can storm out and do the same! 😂

Assuming baby doesn't need your boobs, abso-fucking-lutely. Check into your nearest premier inn and text him that you're fine, you love him, and tonight you are staying in a hotel to get a little rest before you implode with all the stress of PND/childcare/housework/wifework. Tell him what time you'll be back in the morning, make it about an hour before he needs to leave for work so he has plenty of time to shower/dress/eat. Tell him you know he'll cope fine with the children for one night and you appreciate him supporting you by respecting your need for a tiny rest right now and picking up the slack for one night.

He really can't say you're being unreasonable. It's one night, with his own children.

@ Eezer

The times I've felt like doing this but chickened out!

Babies do test relationships and you're probably all tired.
If you can afford a hotel you can also afford to get a cleaner for a few hours on a Friday for a few weeks. Then you all get to benefit and house is clean. Made a huge difference when we had our first.

He's their parent, just as you are. He's also an adult, let him fucking cope. Go... have you already checked in?
The only way men like this realise is when they have to actually do it themselves.

Justmum if you're in the north west please join me!!! Currently sat in the car on a pub car park wishing that my iPhone charger wasn't half snapped only on 11%

Don't tell him where you are less he turn up with baby in tow at 3am....!

No absolutely do it. And later send him this : [[https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/amp/ you should have asked]]

Crumbs cleaner fund being used on nursery 1 day a week to give me a break with the PND.... I usually clean/ so house stuff so no break really!!

Hotel would go on credit card 👌🏻

Birds that link won't
Open

Sadly not or I would be there! Go and do it and he might just learn to help abd appreciate what you do a bit more.

He's not a terrible husband, just thick as pig shit and doesn't "see" mess/ dirt