To check into a hotel?

[mashitupp]

Got background married, have DS13yo and DS10mo. Have mild PND on meds. Baby is poor sleeper, wakes twice a night and husband works away a lot/ does long hours.

Today feel exhausted but house is a mess/ needs cleaning. I say to DH I feel like having a nap (with the baby) how do u feel about doing the cleaning while I nap? Bearing in mind he has only ever done a full house clean ONCE and does very little cleaning. He agrees.

I feed the baby at 1530 and he falls asleep. I fall asleep after feeding baby. We both wake up at 6.

Goes downstairs, no cleaning done DH playing on phone. Asked him what he been doing he says I cleaned behind the oven and hoovered downstairs. 😡

Feel a bit miffed because he agreed to do cleaning but hasn't done any of the actual house cleaning that you can see, i.e. Internal glass, floor
Mopping, bathrooms/ toilets, general moving away of mess.

Then he says he's doing some gravel raking in the garden and heads outside. So I start cleaning with a cloth in one hand and baby in the other.

Decide to go outside and tell him how
miffed I am that he hasn't done any of the house cleaning and just cleaned behind the oven that no one can even see, and he says "if you've just come out to have a go at me don't bother".

So I ask him why can't I talk to him about this? Why can't I tell him in miffed off? He says same thing so I just go indoors, carry on cleaning for 10 mins ish. Fuming.

Then I decide to go out. Ask DS1 to come into loving with baby for a few mins, tell him DH is in back garden and after that this cartoon ends take baby to DH.

Drive off.

Cue panicking call from DH where are you? When are you coming back? Etc.. told him I'm out and I'll be back in a bit 🙊

I know this isn't exactly worst thing in world but I'm pissed off, DH does very little housework, cooking, shopping, baby minding, clothes organizing, school stuff, nursery stuff etc etc. For once I wouldn't have to clean/ do EVERYTHING and he hasn't done it then told me I can't be mad about it!! AIBU to just check into a hotel for the night and let him just fucking deal with everything?

I wouldn't check into a hotel, no. A lot of money to make a point, even if it is going on a credit card. Go for a nice long walk somewhere. Maybe have a drink somewhere, something to eat. And then come home and discuss things in a civilised way together.

Wouldn't dream of cleaning anything, didn't clean his house for 8 years when lived alone

I had a row with DH yesterday. Went and sat in my car for a bit, went out for a coffee, came home about an hour later and he had made me lunch and was full of apologies.

I feel like buying a bottle and drinking it on the park.... not cider though, no a nice Australian Shiraz

On 7% can't get my car charger to work. Might have to go home as can't live without phone. Humph. I been gone about an hour and half, is that long enough hahaha

Hat off to you lady. Do it guilt free.

Hotels will probably have chargers in lost property.

Find a hotel FFS! If you cave now then you can't complain later...

I often wonder about all these men who have this apparent blindness to housework and childcare.

Would they really completely neglect their children & live in their own filth if they had no (usually) wife/girlfriend to cook & clean & take care of the dc?

OP, if you need the rest go and have a peaceful night at a hotel have a nights unbroken sleep. Then tomorrow go home and talk about how chores and childcare will be split going forward.

You cannot be doing everything all the time, it's not good for your health or good for your dc to see you being the skivvy whilst your husband sits around.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/amp/better?

now ?

Argh !

how about now

Absolutely. One with a fluffy robe and great room service.

Bathe in an undisturbed night's sleep and go back tomm knowing that yep, he'll be pissed at you, but nope, he's unlikely to take the piss you for granted again anytime soon...

Birds yes and that succinctly is it!!! Nail on head!!

Thank fuck for that. Thought I was going to be outwitted by my phone

You should show it to him.

I think I might!!

I'm going home, he knows I'm pissed off so mission accomplished, and I'm wimping out. TBF if he did it I'd change the locks!!

Here's hoping he's done some cleaning!

Buy a charger from the services lol

Be braver than we were!

Pick a charger up from a supermarket, head to a nice hotel. If you don't stand up for yourself now, then when?

Sit him down, make a list of all the tasks you do, including all the thinking / organising & the night wakings, come up with a fair division of labour and then just make sure the person who suffers most if he doesn't do his share is him. E.g if he was supposed to do the laundry but doesn't, you do yours & dcs not his. If he has failed to wash up, you decline to cook his dinner. Or whatever. Or just threaten to leave and to let him have 50% residency. You have sons, you need to sort this out for the sake of the next generation.

Came home (after 12 calls from DS1 has cooking tomorrow at shook ... forgot... needed to go to Tesco express to buy ingredients for 12 chocolate muffins to the tune of £12... although homemade surely £1 each is steep) kitchen was cleaned and was bathing baby, so armed with a bottle of Chardonnay I cooked some tea he is now doing the dishwasher.... I will speak to him but not now, not today.

He's not a bad person he is just ignorant and self centered... I know that sounds like a contradiction and those two descriptions sound terrible... it's true though, it is borne out of ignorance and as much as we say 'men!' It just won't do.

And I will not stand for it any longer!!!! Anyway, Chardonnay is glugging down nicely so two fingers to him
I'm going for a bath 💦💦💦💦💦

**School not shook