To buy my DS a dress?

[Isthereanyusernamesleft]

I've one DS, he is my first & last (traumatic birth).

He's only 10 weeks so is still quite neutral I.E you can't necessarily tell he's a boy yet!

I think dresses are lovely & as I don't follow this gender society crap of girls wear dresses & pink & boys wear blue & trousers.....I don't see the issue in putting my DS in a dress.

However, everyone else thinks it's wrong!

Is it??

And you said, "Actually, He's called Richard" I'd definitely think there was something wrong with you.

I'd have thought something was wrong with her already when seeing the pinkified baby.

Being told the baby is male would make me question my initial judgement.

My DS has been dressed in boys clothes mainly & a few gender neutral outfits, solely because it is what has been given to him.

Did you want a girl op?
Did you find out the sex while pregnant?

Isthereanyusernamesleft

My DS has a pink toothbrush. There were only two colours available when I went to the shop, and only one green one... so I left it in case the next shopper (for a boy or girl) was massively anti-pink, as I'm not bothered.

If you really do believe that gender is chosen and not given then you will allow your child to chose how they would like to dress.

I totally agree that you do not have to dress your son in blue, but perhaps it would be more sensible to dress him in neutral clothes.

My DD is 2 and very much in to dinosaurs and cars. I buy her clothes with dinosaurs on them and if they happen to come from the boy's section then so be it. She loves them either way. She plays with boys and girls toys. She does own a doll which I purchased to prepare her for baby no 2, so would have purchased it for a boy too.

I don't really think the decision is yours to make. Dress him in neutral colours and let him pick his clothes when he's old enough and support him in his decisions.

Actually I got exactly what I wanted.....a beautiful baby boy.

I did not want it think I'd have a girl.

Maisypops you nailed it in the head. Bravo. When my DD was a baby she wore a combination of baby clothes mostly because I was hard up and friends gave me their baby clothes. Gender neutral never occurred to me at all as quite a lot of baby clothes are pretty unisex. I think a lot if people are projecting their own issues, rather than just raising their children. You don't have try so hard to show how liberal you are 😒, just enjoy your baby

I'd understand if DS were older and wanted a dress but as he's a newborn I'd say yes YABU. You can keep your baby in gender neutral clothing but I don't understand wanting to put him in overtly feminine clothing at this stage. Unless you are taking the medieval aristocracy approach to parenting, where they dressed their sons as girls in case someone wanted to kidnap them (they believed sons were more desirable and therefore more likely to be kidnapped. I say it explains a lot about the strangeness of aristocratic men!! ).

OP, did you ever read/watch As Nature Made Him? I think you should. I shall leave a link for you if you hadn't, but I really suggest everyone watches this. It validates some of the points made on here.

Did you want a girl op?

Perhaps she just wanted a baby she could put in pink dresses and is only being judged because she happened to give birth to a boy.

If she wanted a girl, she'd not be talking about buying her son a dress, she'd be claiming she has a transgirl baby because he doesn't refuse the pink bottle.

Genders are taught, simple

Even if you think gender is a load of crap (a totally reasonable attitude), using your children to make such a point about it is only likely to damage them. You can bring your children up to be as gender neutral as you can without drawing attention to them.

OP, watch the goddamn documentary. Genders are not taught, some of it is biological.

I think dresses are lovely & as I don't follow this gender society crap of girls wear dresses & pink & boys wear blue & trousers.....

But then OP herself says she dresses as feminine as possible because she likes it and society espects it

So which is it op? Do you follow society norms or not? What are feminine clothes and why do your clothes have a gender attached to them?

Genders aren't taught it's biological

How do you know that??

I wonder??

Oh because you were taught!

Why do my clothes have a gender attached??

Oh I don't know, solely because people like a lot on here bullied me into dressing more appropriately!

My son is 10 weeks old, wearing one dress for 7 hours is NOT going to damage him.

As I said, I dress him in both gender & neutral clothes as this is what is given to him by friends & family

So you're just going to use him as your dress up doll until he's old enough to notice?

OP, watch the goddamn documentary. Genders are not taught, some of it is biological.

No, gender, by definition, is not biological.

Men are more aggressive than women, (which we are now asked to ignore as men demand access to womens spaces) which may well be biological, but in that case, that is sex, not gender.

Dresses versus trousers is 100% learned, as is pink versus blue, which you well know. So, where's your point?

I don't understand why you posted in AIBU if you don't want opinions

Gender issues will always be about but let your son decide if he wants to wear a dress when he is older

So you're just going to use him as your dress up doll until he's old enough to notice?

I would agree with your judgemental attitude, but I'd feel bad about not judging all the people who use their daughters as dress up dolls.

I chose his swaddle, it has ladybugs on it....it looks very girlie....why?? Because I like the design.

Goady as fuck.

I don't for one second believe any sane parent would actually do this.

I've been told I dress my boys quite girlie. I've never put them in a dress though.

I do tend to buy clothes from more unisex ranges though, and some stuff has come from the girls section.

The thing is, all the funny outfits and hats that babies wear for newborn photoshoots is utterly impractical. Jeans on a baby boy - completely impractical. If we are going purely for practicality all babies should be in rompers or babygrows.

I was given a tigger outfit for DS1. Was it practical? No. Did he look adorable in it? Yes. Is he going to be mentally scarred by it? It's unlikely.

Sailor outfits for baby boys. Practical? No. Cute? Sometimes. Mentally scarring? Unlikely.

Applying the same principle to dresses, I guess it should be okay.

Perhaps she just wanted a baby she could put in pink dresses and is only being judged because she happened to give birth to a boy. Hah, yes!

Sometimes I see beautiful little dresses in the shops and think "how sad, DS couldn't wear that without him or me being judged, but it's so lovely, I wish he were a girl'. I actually don't wish he were a girl, I love him just the way he is, but it's undeniable that girls have more chioce, i.e. they can wear 'boys', 'girls' or gender neutral and no one bats an eye.

Why are ladybugs girly? And why ,if you are so open minded and against societal gender constructs ,use words like feminine and girly?