I WIN MUMSNET WEDDINGS

[FuckyDuck]

So we all love a good wedding thread 'it's not a summons, it's an invitation'..
We have been 'invited' to a wedding WEEK in the USA, prices starting from £3k, with 5 organised events, each with their own dress code, and given a link to the Amazon wish list/registry where the cheapest item is >£300! Children are welcome on the holiday but not at the ceremony, and we're to chip in to the brides accommodation the night before the big day to show her our love?!

Total costing is £5,500 for a WEEK.

So, come on, what do I win??

Hmm thats good for sure, though a friend (in the super rich international crowd) was invited to a wedding with a gift list to furnish the couples second home. Cheapest thing on it £300.

What did your friend buy for them?

I would be SO to send an invite like that!

How can anyone think they are so important?

beggars belief (though I do believe you, OP).

Since they didn't even go to yours is there any chance you still have their decline card somewhere? I would send that with the names crossed out or arrows switching them so you're declining with whatever reason they gave. Or ask if there's a Skype viewing for those who won't be there. I feel it would be worth a look from your couch with popcorn and booze to laugh

You do. You win MN weddings, paws down.

Brides dad is from Texas (not the state they're getting married in)

I bet it IS Maui.

The to go destination of every celebrity and ex-President these days.

I know.

Tell them your wedding attendance charges, i.e. for the pleasure of having your company, are £3000 per person. Will they please let you know if they accept it.

PS - are they related to the Trump family? They sound just as grabby and profit oriented.

I'm intrigued at the five different events with different dress codes. I realise this shows a lack of imagination on my part.

Do you know anyone else who might be invited? It would be fun to have a chat.

Ooh ooh, send your "decline" with a grip enclosed. Tell them you went off-list to get them something you thought they really needed.

I'm saying no win without proof either. Names can be blanked out. I cannot believe there are people that deluded thst they think others will spend 5.5k and a week just for a bloody wedding. Very happy to be proved wrong.

Why is everyone now demanding photos as 'proof'? Either you believe it or you don't

Good point.
OP, you could draw yourself the invitation and photograph it.

On that note, how about sending them hand drawn tickets for Chester Zoo?

So I take it you don't want to go then? hehehehe. You win for most ludicrous wedding invite ever! Congratulations!

Can't believe how entitled some people are.

Having said that, my husband would be exactly the same as yours! He once had us driving for 3 hours to the wedding of a friend/colleague who he hadn't been in touch with for years and we knew no one else who was going but he felt bad about declining.
It was a really lovely day though and I'm glad we went, and at least we didn't have to spend that much to attend.

Awesome.

How about:

Dear Not-Yet-Marrieds

Thank you so much for your kind invitation to celebrate your wedding. I'm so sorry we will have to decline, I am afraid we are simply all out of gold bullion, and find ourselves in the embarrassing position of not having more than £7,000 (inc. childcare and other associated costs such as clothing to conform to the dress codes) to spend on a week away with you. I have been looking into the possibility of selling one of the children (as well as the sale price gained this would save us money on both flights, childcare, outfits) but alas I find that eBay will not accept them.

With every wish for a wonderful celebration amongst your nearest and dearest,

FuckyDucky and Family

I love Glitters. 'Who dis?' reply but I think a witty reply would be wasted. I'd go for a simply honest reply.

Dear XXX. Thank you so much for the invitation but we are going to have to give it a miss. We added up the cost of flights and accomadation etc and it comes to over £5,500 and that's not including all the outfits we would require, the child care for the ceremony , the gift and food and entertainment and we can't justify spending that much on your wedding celebrations. I'm sure you understand.
Hope you have a wonderful day, we look forward to seeing photos.
Love OP

Um, you do know that weddings in America are completely different, right....?

(Not saying that this isn't over the top, but things like a formal rehearsal dinner the night before with a black tie dress code are fairly normal. As is a gift registry)

Eeek - you don't have to justify why you are turning down an invitation.

A simple "thank you for your invitation, but sadly we will be unable to share your wedding celebrations with you" is literally all that is required. If asked, then you can say that the cost was too much

Olenna does it count as a drip feed if the OP has already clarified that point?!

Who cares if it's different? You might be happy to spend your entire vacation money (and let's not forget Americans also don't have proper annual leave!) to attend enforced wedding japes? Of people that have been together long enough to have TWO children?!

The bride and groom are both British, Olenna.

The OP has already stated that.

Can't you send that clip of Phoebe saying "oh I'm sorry I can't because...I don't want to"?

I agree with this.

You have won the INTERNET, OP, not just MN and not just weddings.

Am I the only one wishing we could have a whip-round to send @FuckyDuck and family to the wedding, in return for live updates of all the celebrations? There must be more than 5500 MNers, so we could do it for a quid apiece. Frankly I'd happily chip in a fiver - I think the entertainment that would be provided by the week of celebrations would be well worth it.

Don't RSVP just yet, wait for the Daily Fail to pick this up and then send them the link. They will be ecstatic thinking their wedding is so amazing it's made the papers!!

expat

"Pics or it didn't happen" is just adding about, in the same vein as "he who smelt it dealt it" etc etc.

Usually used for stories which can be described only as "belters".

*arsing

Not "adding"'

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius but if she finds out there's a link for the people who can't make it to watch we can all see it in real time!!