Working dads...poor things!

[user1496693159]

I work a full time job... high profile. Loads of stress....from home. Remotely.
Today I:
Woke at 6. Read work e-mails. Made his lordship his offer at 7. Dressed our little girl, got ready ...gave her breakfast. Took her to nursery. Worked full day ( in between did 4 loads of washing). Spent 'lunch hour' packing boxes for our upcoming house move... on conference calls for 5 hours. Pickup little munchkin. Cook dinner. Feed munchkin.
Him: works a day. Walks in the door. Plonks on couch. Switches on TV.
Says he is too tired to bath munchkin while I need to read urgent mails....
Ah! Poor thing.

Taking children to nursery/school, washing, shopping, preparing meals and doing some cleaning is not 'stressful'. Most of this can be accomplished while half asleep.

The OP isn't paintng a particularly streeful day imo.

What's more stressful, her day or going to work then coming home, watching TV and having your dinner cooked?

Agree with some of the others, we don't have the full picture here so can't judge.

But even if we did, whatever Faustian bargain you have made at home is your problem, not society's or men's. Fix it and/or dump the guy rather than telling a bunch of strangers. If you're still doing it (and making breakfast!), that suggests it works for you in some way.

"Made his lordship his offer at 7"

??!!!

You sound proud of yourself.

That was my day today NoLoveofMine :) Got up at 6, got myself ready, left house for work at 7, watched a program on the commute. Arrived home just before 7. Sat down and had the food cooked that was ready for me on the sofa. Bliss.

I used to work from home and my dp currently is.

Ok martyr bleat on a little more.

Works a day... what a stupid thing to say. Well done you for doing housework and not telling us any other information about his work. My DH is out the front door at 6am and usually back in at 6:30pm. He 'works a day' but in a very stressful job with a bitch of a commute. I could very easily say the same, yet I appreciate the things he does for his family, so don't see it that way at all.

You just want another thread bashing men really, but would probably be up in arms if he said something like that about you.

If this is the normal way of things, then stop being a matyr and tell him you're sick of it.

If it's an occasional occurance then make sure you do the same sometimes too.

YABU for using "munchkin" to refer to your child, far too bloody twee and fb #blessed for MN

You're OP comes across like it's 'oh typical useless man!'

What are you going to do about it?

One post, bleating, massive generalising.

If he's got an exceptionally stressful job theh maybe he's not in a position to make shopping lists or put 4 loafs of washing on, or drive home and pack cases.

Women seem to be expected to do all these things with "exceptionally stressful jobs" as a matter of course, not to mention keep up to date with all social engagements, what the children are doing or need for school if they have them, trips etc. The OP is managing a very stressful job and doing all these things.

I'm interested in knowing what OP and her husband do for jobs. I've a feeling her job is Forever Young or some bullshit.

And how would be manage with his stressful job if he lived alone. Would be just sit around and starve to death. I think not.

Currently we have swapped roles so I am the one who has the long hours stressful job and DH is at home. I have handed over the reins for home stuff to DH.

Sometimes he forgets to get stuff in for packed lunches or that it's swimming day....... but then (shock horror) when I was at home I used to forget stuff like that too and I have a vagina and everything.

There is a crazy double standard whereby if a woman is crap at cleaning or forgets something it's because she is SO BUSY juggling, but if someone in possession of a penis messes up we should patronise him that he's just a bit crap or lazy.... because (bless him) he's only a man.

But that does neither sex any favours. It turns mothers into martyrs and sets men up to fail before they even start.

Personally I think it's irrelevant what either does for a job, if he wasn't in a relationship he'd be doing everything for himself despite working, wouldn't he?
That's how me and my boyfriend look at it anyway.

Our day went like this....
He got up at 6 ish got ready for work then got dd up at 6.30 changed her and brought her to me to feed. He brought me a cup of tea and then went to work.

I'm currently on mat leave. Did baby group am, then we were home, I did a general clean, vac, polish etc and had a sort out of some of dd's outgrown things. I made dinner for him getting home.

He's home by 6.30, we eat together. He baths dd and gets her ready for bed, does story and gives her a bottle of milk. While I express.

I've been kind tonight and made him lunch for work tomorrow. He went to the gym for a hour, then came home showered and gave the bathroom a clean and tidy.

And he does a physically demanding job too!

Ooh, can we all play?

My Sunday = made a nice breakfast for everyone, dressed DCs, washed and ironed three loads of laundry, did an emergency plumbing fix, mowed the lawn, made tea for Sunday, made tea for Monday, washed dishes, cleaned kitchen, cleaned and serviced the car, cleaned and serviced DW and DCs bicycles, worked on a new patio foundation, scrubbed the floor, bathed DCs, reading, board games, bed.

DWs Sunday - washed hair, hobby for an hour, went on a bike ride, wrote a shopping list.

Still, working dads, lazy twats eh?

So what do you expect him to do ?

His fair share of the childcare and housework when at home.

The OP states her job is "loads of stress" yet you decide her job "does not sound stressful" (yet presumably assume her partner's is) and attempt to belittle her day filled with work by labelling it being on the phone for 5 hours as if her work is simply having a chat. Of course you are the oracle of what constitutes a stressful job.

YABU to not have even asked a question.... that's how AIBU works you know.

YABU to somehow equate the fact that your partner did this (regularly does this?) into some sort of assumption that every working Dad does this.

YABU to just come and moan about it to MN, whilst putting up with it, rather than sorting it out with him.

Most of what is being bandied about as 'women's work' is not STRESSFUL. It is simply stuff that needs doing. It can be tiring when done energetically. STRESS when doing the washing is when smoke pours out of the washing machine and you need the clothes to be washed for an important 'do' in the evening.
Stress when shopping is having your 'DP' there putting stuff back on the shelves in exchange for alternative brands and basically not helping. Without this 'assistance' it is not stressful at all.
Cooking usual family meals is not stressful, a sit down dinner for 20 might be.

It is simply stuff that needs doing. but that inexplicably becomes difficult when someone with a penis is expected to do it.

Some men seem to do this...

Living alone/low level of housework/working: do it themselves.

Living in a couple/slightly higher level of housework/both working: do about half.

Living in a family/higher level of housework: do fuck all but your job.

It is mystifying to me. Why do some men feel that their ability to do housework ends when they have children. Who produce MORE HOUSEWORK!