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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What to do with inheritance?

88 replies

GottonamechangeNow17 · 04/06/2017 21:17

So my wonderful wonderful Granny died a few months ago leaving no proper will; There are 3 children and 7 grandchildren (and 9 great grandchildren of whom she met one; my dd). Granny did often gave me things when I visited..diamond jewellery was biggest gift;(I always tried to give back but she was always adamant they were for me and my relatives would descend on her things once she was gone) ; i am only grandchild to visit often as we lived near her; and my siblings who also live close haven't seen her in 3 years. We've each been really lucky and left a sum of money; my siblings are being allowed to use as they wish (holidays; additional cars; etc) but our parents are telling me what I am "allowed" to spend mine on. Mine is more than everyone else's counting in all the jewellery, as I bothered with my Granny; I saw her as much as I could and took my dd to see her often. Dd was also left money which she isn't being given as no other great grandchild was left any (because they never even met her / haven't been born yet).so... my AIBU is to ask if it's ok to spend my
InheritAnce on the holiday my granny always wanted me to go on, and esp since dd was born? Or should I save it and spend on house stuff like I'm being told?

OP posts:
BeyondDespairandRepair · 04/06/2017 21:18

well what do you mean - no proper will? she either had one or she didnt. she has obv left you money no?

in which case its your choice what you do with it!

Creampastry · 04/06/2017 21:19

If they have given you all the money, tell them to sod off as its yours and you can spend it on what you want.

Creampastry · 04/06/2017 21:19

They sound very controlling - how sure are you that there is no will?

PaintingByNumbers · 04/06/2017 21:20

was there a will or are your parents giving you part of their inheritance? if its not a bequest, I suppose it could be seen just as your parents giving you money for a specific purpose, which.is fair enough, you dont have to take it.

BigGreenOlives · 04/06/2017 21:20

How old are you that your parents are telling you what to do?!

MagentaRocks · 04/06/2017 21:20

Spend it on what you want. I got a bit extra when my Nan died because I also did a lot for her. Some of it went on sensible stuff but some on frivolous as I knew that would have been what she wanted.

MissDuke · 04/06/2017 21:21

No do as you wish Flowers However I do think it is lovely to spend inheritance money on something solid that you will have - eg put it into a house if it is a sizeable sum. Just so you will always have it? But maybe that is just me (obviously you would always have the memories of the hol too). We recently received an inheritance and we used it to move to a bigger home, our forever home, and it makes us feel like mil is a part of this house if that makes sense? It is very personal, do not let others decide this for you, including me - just giving an account of my personal experience Smile

Brittbugs80 · 04/06/2017 21:22

If there was a Will stating your daughter was to be left x amount of money, your family can't decide to not give it to her. Likewise your share of inheritance is yours to spend as you wish.

How old are you?

ChicRock · 04/06/2017 21:30

What do you mean - "no proper will"?

Original poster
GottonamechangeNow17 · 04/06/2017 21:33

Wasn't a will but a letter; and I was told often she wanted dd to have x amount. The amount we were left weren't huge; so not enough for house deposit (more just some
Nice furntiture / a car)..but I KNOW my granny and what I want to
Do with the money is frivolous but completely what she would approve of. The jewellery she's given me is worth an enormous amount but I'm keeping it as it's hers and I'd treasure it if it was tinfoil.

I'm 35.. and yes my parents still dictate what I am and aren't allowed to do (including letting themselves into my house at 8am on Sunday mornings and demanding to know
Why my dd is still asleep...)

OP posts:
RaspberryPi1 · 04/06/2017 21:34

If there is no will, how did you get the cash?

delilah245 · 04/06/2017 21:35

It sounds like there was some type of a will if grandchildren were given money. Usually if there is no will and no remaining spouse, the money/assets are split up between the next of kin (children). Sorry to hear about your granny. :(

It's your money, you can do what you'd like. Hell, I'm getting boobs with a portion of inheritance that was left to me!! Grin its your money and your business to spend it or save it as you wish.

PeaFaceMcgee · 04/06/2017 21:35

Do what you think is best for you (and change your locks), they sound nuts. Sorry for your loss Flowers

sycamore54321 · 04/06/2017 21:36

Any chance you could use the money to move far, far away? Or at the very least, get a locksmith and a book on asserting boundaries.

Sorry for the loss of your grandmother.

PaintingByNumbers · 04/06/2017 21:36

so was the letter accepted as if it was a will or was she intestate and the immediate family decided to honour the terms of it anyway? all a bit confusing but I guess if it was an inheritance, your choice what you do with it

BeyondDespairandRepair · 04/06/2017 21:37

how odd - what people want etc is no good after the event of their death unless they left specific wishes.

what was in the letter?> was it signed? how odd.

usually it would go to her children directly - not her gc or great gc....

its so annoying when people say they want x and z to go to blah but then leave it all to chance - without a will.

Creampastry · 04/06/2017 21:39

I agree with your parents - use it for the house - FOR NEW LOCKS!!!

mineofuselessinformation · 04/06/2017 21:41

The only advice I can give is to see a solicitor and see if the letter you have will 'stand up in court'. If it does, then tell your parents that you expect what your grandmother wanted you and dd to have.
Otherwise, tell them yes, let them transfer the money to you (you can't do anything with it until you have it after all), then honour your grandmother's wishes.

Love51 · 04/06/2017 21:42

Nod and smile to your parents until the money / jewellery is in your possession,then have a change of heart.
Be prepared for them to redress the balance in their own will (I can see loads of parents would do this from a place if love, 1dc got x from granny, we will make it up to.the others in due course).

Parker231 · 04/06/2017 21:43

YABU - you are an adult and can spend the money on what you want. Why are you letting your parents dictate what you do? Why do they have access to your house?

Brittbugs80 · 04/06/2017 21:44

It still needs to go through probate, even with a Will. Is the letter even acceptable?

But if you get some money, I'd change your locks and get a bolt put on your door. I honestly thought you were under 18!

coconutpie · 04/06/2017 21:44

You need to seek legal advice. Also, change the locks on your house. You need fo stop your parents controlling you.

Bunbunbunny · 04/06/2017 21:46

Spend the money on changing your locks & don't give them a set!

PaintingByNumbers · 04/06/2017 21:49

im thinking the letter is not acceptable but family are honouring it - so parents are giving her from their share?

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/06/2017 21:52

My mother is very controlling. And a bitch to me. Your mother needs to stop interfering. If you don't think the letter would stand up in court, you will need to keep her sweet for now. If it will, definitely change the locks. And I agree, once you have the money, spend if how you choose.

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