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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed at cars flashing to overtake?

302 replies

moutonfou · 04/06/2017 19:09

I was on a dual-carriage way, traffic in the inside lane going about 65mph, me in the outside lane overtaking several cars steadily at about 70mph (okay, maybe it was a couple over that...). And then someone comes up behind me at 80+mph and starts flashing me, presumably to get in so he can continue to speed.

AIBU to think the overtaking lane is for overtaking and as long as I'm doing that, I've every right to be there? And that there's no god-given right to travel at 80mph even if that's your thing?

OP posts:

CuppaSarah · 05/06/2017 09:27

Can I just clarify as I'm a little unsure...

So it's not illegal to flash your lights at other motorists

But it is illegal to flash your tits?

Just asking. For a friend.

IntheBenefitTrap · 05/06/2017 09:32

You shouldn't have been in the BMW lane.

Booph · 05/06/2017 09:35

PoorYorick there's crimes to solve you know.

I don't really understand people who feel the need to drive 80 or 90 really either, speed awareness courses tell you roughly how much time you save (barely anything) but I've found a link expression the general premise here (I would like to point out that my husband did the course not me!)

lifehacker.com/does-speeding-really-get-you-there-any-faster-1556767685

It's American though so the speed limits are lower of course. But the higher the speed limit the worse off you will be in terms of time saved.

I used to be almost-but-not-quite an aggressive driver when I started out in that I felt I needed to rush everywhere but now I'm happy to sit at 60-70 on motorway, albeit usually in the left hand lane

IntheBenefitTrap · 05/06/2017 09:40

In all seriousness though, if someone drives up my arse on whatever road I am on, I first flick my lights on and off, so they think I'm applying my brakes. If that doesn't work, I steadily slow down until they back off. If they get mad at me, I blow them a kiss. No one intimidates me on the road I'm entitled to be on. I don't speed, but I don't drive too slowly either as that can be just as dangerous. If you're overtaking at 70, that's the speed limit and anyone who is impatient will just have to wait. I loathe being tailgated.

I used to drive a very large BMW and was never tailgated or harassed on the road despite never speeding. Now I drive a much smaller car, it happens a lot more. It's not just down to the make of car, it's down to the driver. Some drivers of larger vehicles think they own the roads. They don't.

Reminds me of a time I was
down a give way from the other direction single track hill and halfway up the other side when a lwb van driver decided to push his way down and try to make me reverse 3/4 of the way back when he was legally supposed to give way. I applied my handbrake, blew him a kiss and took out a newspaper while he went ballistic at his wheel, beeping and swearing. He eventually reversed

justkeepswimmingg · 05/06/2017 09:41

HuntersHearsHelmsley.. did I say I was tailgating? I actually said in my second post that I don't tailgate. Sounds like your making up your own scenario in your head, rather than me. You think it's acceptable to sit in the 3rd lane with the 1st and 2nd lanes being free, and then I'm a crazy pregnant lady for wanting you to move into the 1st lane (which is actually where you should have been siting), so that I can overtake you in the 2nd lane. Really think you need to re take your driving test, sounds like you are driving illegally if you think that scenario is ok! I'm so pleased your life is so special that you'd risk the life of a pregnant woman and her child to Lane hog. I don't undertake, I flash to tell them I am there. A little reminder for idiots like you, to live into the correct lane. YOUR WELCOME.

Also just to clarify to OP I said in my first post that YWNU, sounds like the car behind you was being impatient as you were still overtaking. Not the same as Lane hogging, like some stupid people seem to think is ok.

MorrisZapp · 05/06/2017 09:44

Average speed cams are brilliant, they should put them on all dual carriageways and motorways. What earthly use is a `speed limit' that the majority ignore.

frasersmummy · 05/06/2017 09:45

If you are doing the speed limit and there are cars going slower in the inside lane then you are entitled to stay there..no matter how much flashing the idiots do. My driving instructor told me to lightly tap the brake pedal...not enough to slow down but enough to put your brake lights on..
This should make them back off

frasersmummy · 05/06/2017 09:52

Best laugh I had was...
I was on single carriage way which is wide enough for 2 .. I was sure the car behind me was an unmarked police car So I was doing the speed limit exactly. .
Idiot 2 behind decided to overtake us both gesturing and honking his horn as he went.
Yip.. unmarked police car...put lights on and pulled him over...karma!

PoisonousSmurf · 05/06/2017 10:05

I had a situation where a car was sitting on the outside lane of a two lane highway. No other cars on the road, but it was late at night.
The man wouldn't move over, so I ended up trying to undertake.
Then he moved in.
But he never let me overtake. I ended up going at less than 40 mph in the end.
I had to escape down a slip road. I think that guy was either drunk or a nasty piece of work.
This was in the early 90s.

PoorYorick · 05/06/2017 11:07

How do you recognise an unmarked police car?

KhaleesiMotherofCats · 05/06/2017 11:07

It's interesting about the smaller car vs bigger car thing.

I wonder if it's a bit of misogyny at play?

I get flashed even when driving at 90mph and clearly still overtaking other cars when driving my Golf by cockwombles in BMWs, Mercs, 4x4s and Audis.

We're swapping to a 4x4 next year and I wonder if it will stop then. Do they subconsciously think all premium cars are driven by other men?

I've never, ever been flashed at by a female driver.

ShotsFired · 05/06/2017 11:22

@PoorYorick How do you recognise an unmarked police car?

Sometimes you just get to know what the current models your police forces use after you see them on the roads - most of my force's are dark grey Skodas for example.

They will usually be 1-2 years old max.

There will usually be two big aerials on it.

The driver will usually be in a police uniform.

ringringringringringring · 05/06/2017 11:42

There is definitely a type of large car driver that just can not bear to drive behind a small car. I regularly drive on a national road (ie 2 way traffic, 1 lane each) with a 100kph speed limit. As long as there isn't a slower vehicle in front of me that it's not safe to overtake I drive at exactly 100kph. However I do commit the crime of doing so in my little 15yo Corsa. So understandably any driver of a large, new car that finds itself behind me absolutely must overtake me, even if we're driving along a solid white line. Then they either swerve suddenly in front of me to avoid the big articulated lorry coming in the other direction that they couldn't see because of the curve of the road (hence the solid white line). Or they fall naturally in front of me, remember that there are often speed checks on this road and hit the breaks, forcing me to slow down by as much as 20kph. But the important thing is that they, the driver of the big new car, are now in front of the little, old car as is their right in the universe.

To top it off, I'm a learner driver, so they are fucking lucky that I have an exceptional instructor who drilled excellent observational skills into me. So I can anticipate and prepare for when their entitled driving puts us all in danger.

limitedperiodonly · 05/06/2017 11:47

if someone drives up my arse on whatever road I am on, I first flick my lights on and off, so they think I'm applying my brakes.

So you flash the driver in front InTheBenefitsTrap?

limitedperiodonly · 05/06/2017 11:48

I don't know why I did a there. Maybe I should have done a

treaclesoda · 05/06/2017 11:51

No need to stop if a roundabout is clear (that's why they have give way lines, not stop lines).

My DH failed his driving test for not stopping at a roundabout. It was visibly clear, and they were give way lines, not stop lines, but that was what it said on his report was the reason for failing. Many years ago now, and he passed very quickly afterwards, but clearly it still irritates me all these years later

2rebecca · 05/06/2017 12:04

You slow down at roundabouts because part of roundabout law is giving way to vehicles already on the roundabout and if you are 300m away you may not see something to your left entering the roundabout if a built up area, and they only have to give way to vehicles on the right near or on the roundabout, not vehicles some distance away from the roundabout who aren't on it yet but are thundering along at high speed with no intention to consider vehicles who may reach the roundabout before them.

Orlantina · 05/06/2017 12:17

My DH failed his driving test for not stopping at a roundabout. It was visibly clear, and they were give way lines, not stop lines

I wonder if there was a reason why he should have stopped.

treaclesoda · 05/06/2017 12:58

My DH failed his driving test for not stopping at a roundabout. It was visibly clear, and they were give way lines, not stop lines

I wonder if there was a reason why he should have stopped.

What real reason could there be though? The roundabout was clear, the road was marked as give way, not stop, and there was nothing to give way to. He slowed right down but didn't stop fully (hand brake etc) before moving off again. He was just doing as his driving instructor had taught him to do. It has baffled us for years.

Doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things, he passed soon after, and has been driving for years (accident free), but it does seem illogical.

Orlantina · 05/06/2017 13:05

What real reason could there be though

I failed mine for hesitation

Instasista · 05/06/2017 13:13

Well you wouldn't fail for that anymore- I wonder if a mistake was made in his test rather than that one experience meaning everyone must stop at a roundabout? Because I don't think it's the case that you need to

treaclesoda · 05/06/2017 13:14

No, I don't think you need to stop at a roundabout either, nor does he and nor did his driving instructor. That's why it has always irritated us

whatsthecomingoverthehill · 05/06/2017 13:23

"if the lane to your left is clear, you should be in it!"

Depends what you mean by 'clear'. I don't move over until I'm a safe distance in front of the car I'm overtaking. Unfortunately that safe distance is enough to allow arsehole tailgaters to pull in and undertake before I move over.

Scoobydoobydont · 05/06/2017 13:26

I spent an hour flashing various people to get out of my way on a journey once.

They probably thought I was a twat.

I was trying so get to my brother and rest of my family after he had been found in bed having cut his own wrists.

Original poster

moutonfou · 05/06/2017 13:37

Sorry to hear that Scoobydoobydont :(

Of course you always try and steal a quick glance at the person. If they look quite normal I try to give them the benefit of the doubt that they're just late or otherwise rushing for a reason.

But when it's two young lads in a souped up Golf or whatever, it's hard to give them the benefit of the doubt...

OP posts:

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