Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at cars flashing to overtake?

302 replies

moutonfou · 04/06/2017 19:09

I was on a dual-carriage way, traffic in the inside lane going about 65mph, me in the outside lane overtaking several cars steadily at about 70mph (okay, maybe it was a couple over that...). And then someone comes up behind me at 80+mph and starts flashing me, presumably to get in so he can continue to speed.

AIBU to think the overtaking lane is for overtaking and as long as I'm doing that, I've every right to be there? And that there's no god-given right to travel at 80mph even if that's your thing?

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 06/06/2017 20:16

Flashing is not fine. It's rude, intimidating and bullying.

That's a matter if opinion, surely.

Orlantina · 06/06/2017 20:19

Flashing someone that is in the wrong lane/not driving at the correct speed etc doesn't demand tailgating and is fine

The correct speed?

Once again, just because there is a speed limit does not mean you have to drive at the speed limit. It's a limit, not a target

reetgood · 06/06/2017 20:26

'I don't think anyone on this thread has said that tailgating is acceptable. Flashing someone that is in the wrong lane/not driving at the correct speed etc doesn't demand tailgating and is fine. Highway Code says flashing lights mean "here I am" and that's what they're being used for.'

Flashing to convey a message - 'you are in the wrong lane' - is specifically What the Highway Code says not to do. You're being disingenuous to suggest that flashing your headlights in those circumstances doesn't have that intention.

Orlantina · 06/06/2017 20:31

Yes - if someone flashes their lights to say "they are there", is there a hidden meaning behind that flashing? Or are they just telling you they are there?

Oh and..

Rule 146
Adapt your driving to the appropriate type and condition of road you are on. In particular

do not treat speed limits as a target. It is often not appropriate or safe to drive at the maximum speed limit

Instasista · 06/06/2017 20:41

Yes widespread opinion titty. Like most bullying, the bully doesn't usually think they're doing anything wrong.

However if you want to do something that most people think of as bullying behaviour, rock on. Karma will get you.

NannyOggsKnickers · 06/06/2017 20:46

I find people who break the law by speeding (and thus endangering the lives of others) totally pathetic. What you are doing is just as illegal as stealing and could lead to something akin to manslaughter.

Interestingly, psychological studies have shown that people always over estimate their own driving skills. They are always sure that the terrible accident won't happen to them. Tell that to the bloke from the neighbouring village who took his brand new Porsche out for a spin at 90mph on a local road and killed a the family in the incoming car and himself. SPEEDING IS FOR WANKERS AND SADDOS.

Instasista · 06/06/2017 20:48

Most people speed on the motorway nanny- anyone who has been on a motorway knows that

NannyOggsKnickers · 06/06/2017 20:57

Instasista That doesn't make it right or legal. The speed limits are there for a reason. People are too sheltered by their cars to feel the speed they are travelling. Most people seem unaware of stopping distances and the forces exerted on their vehicles at speed.
It is often someone else who pays they price for this hubris.

Scoobydoobydont · 06/06/2017 21:06

Most people seem unaware of stopping distances

You make a very good point about stopping distances.

They are now much, much shorter than when the motorway limit was set at 70 due to ABS, massive tyre and brake devepments, suspension improvements and electronics such as ESP.

As a result the motorway limit should be raised to at least 90

TittyGolightly · 06/06/2017 21:07

Speed limits were set decades ago when cars didn't have the safety standards that they do now. I'm regularly on empty motorways late at night and there's nothing dangerous about doing 90 then. On my morning commute it's a completely different story.

sexymuthafunker · 06/06/2017 21:12

figaro THAT story has made my day! Grin

sexymuthafunker · 06/06/2017 21:14

tittyGL think you need a few of these love Biscuit Biscuit Biscuit Biscuit Biscuit Biscuit Biscuit

reetgood · 06/06/2017 21:20

Stopping distances may have changed, but driver reaction time hasn't. And while your brakes and reactions might be amazing, but the drivers in front and behind you aren't. I always understood that advanced driving courses taught about defensive driving i.e. Assume everyone else on the road is irrational and incompetent? So raising the speed limit is prob not a great idea as you have to account for a general competence. Of course none of the excellent drivers on this thread are subject to these considerations ;)

Instasista · 06/06/2017 21:20

Agreed nanny, just pointing out the vast majority of them won't cause or come to any harm from
Speeding

Orlantina · 06/06/2017 21:22

As a result the motorway limit should be raised to at least 90

Which then means more cars will do the limit and some people will then go above 90 because they think the speed limit doesn't apply to them so some people will do 100 or 110.

What's the reaction distance when travelling at 100 mph? How far will you have travelled before you realise there's an issue.

The speed limit is 70. Some people do more than that, especially on motorways.

Make it 90 and some people will do more than that.

NannyOggsKnickers · 06/06/2017 21:23

Titty Keep telling yourself that. Many of your posts have been framed to excuse your indulgence of your love of speed and driving. I really hope that you are lucky and you never have to face the family of someone maimed or killed because you drove 10 miles an hour faster for the thrill of it. You might want to find some paramedics and talk to them about what they see at car crash scenes.
I'm also going to point out that not every car is brand new with the latest safety features. By making the decision to speed you are doing do without control of most of the variables. It is a foolish, selfish decision that someone else might have to pay for.

Scoobydoobydont · 06/06/2017 21:24

I always understood that advanced driving courses taught about defensive driving i.e. Assume everyone else on the road is irrational and incompetent?

Defensive driving would be things like looking ahead for hazards, leaving sufficient gaps in front and, shock horror, getting out of the way of people who want to travel more quickly than you do such as I have been advocating throughout the thread.

I can't remember the last time Simone tailgates me because I don't allow it to happen.

Orlantina · 06/06/2017 21:26

I can't remember the last time Simone tailgates me because I don't allow it to happen

Probably because you're the fastest car on the motorway?

Scoobydoobydont · 06/06/2017 21:30

Nope. A long way from the fastest car on the motorway, or a road, or B road.

Just a driver who is aware of what goes on around them and tries not to needlessly impede others.

Orlantina · 06/06/2017 21:32

getting out of the way of people who want to travel more quickly than you do

There's no fucking way I am going to pull over and let someone get past me if I am doing the correct speed for the road and they are right behind me.

If I was driving much more slowly because I was towing something, then I would. You can tell that's happening because you have a queue behind me.

Oh - and I know about defensive driving, looking ahead, anticipating problems etc. 26 yrs driving, no speeding and only 1 accident (at low speed).

I do pull into the inside lane on dual carriageways and motorways to let speed merchants get past.

But single lane? They get the touch on the headlights if they decide to tailgate me.

Scoobydoobydont · 06/06/2017 21:34

*getting out of the way of people who want to travel more quickly than you do

There's no fucking way I am going to pull over and let someone get past me if I am doing the correct speed for the road and they are right behind me.

If I was driving much more slowly because I was towing something, then I would. You can tell that's happening because you have a queue behind me.

Oh - and I know about defensive driving, looking ahead, anticipating problems etc. 26 yrs driving, no speeding and only 1 accident (at low speed).

I do pull into the inside lane on dual carriageways and motorways to let speed merchants get past.

But single lane? They get the touch on the headlights if they decide to tailgate me.*

Why the hell not just let them past? What's the issue.

By holding them up, allowing them to tailgate you you frustrate them and lead to potentially risky overtaking that you will be caught in the middle of. It doesn't make any sense.

Orlantina · 06/06/2017 21:37

By holding them up, allowing them to tailgate you

They are the ones who are responsible for tailgating.

What I do if I come across a car doing say 50 in a 60 single lane road is NOT tailgate them.

I maintain a safe gap.

It's not that hard.

When it becomes safe to overtake, I overtake.

It's not that hard not to tailgate someone.

Scoobydoobydont · 06/06/2017 21:40

They are the ones who are responsible for tailgating.

What I do if I come across a car doing say 50 in a 60 single lane road is NOT tailgate them.

I maintain a safe gap.

It's not that hard.

When it becomes safe to overtake, I overtake.

It's not that hard not to tailgate someone.*

You seem
To be missing the point and assuming I tailgate people. I don't, I let them past because that's the sensible and safe thing to do.

You can't stop them from doing it so just get out of their way and be the bigger, safer, more courteous person.

I don't see what the issue is

strawberrypenguin · 06/06/2017 21:42

I think it's a small car thing as well. I get hassled a lot more when I'm driving my small car than I do when in DH's bigger car. Some assholes just see a small car and assume you must be going slowly - I also get cut up more in my small car

acatcalledjohn · 06/06/2017 21:42

The driver was a twat for flashing. I had it once on the M25, doing about 75-77mph overtaking two lanes of traffic. Some twat came up behind me (approached me at a speed of 80-85mph) and flashed me. Once it was safe for me to move back in to the middle lane I did so, and held up my middle finger to him as he passed me.

He suddenly wasn't in a hurry anymore.

Didn't give him the time of day and could see him rant from the corner of my eye. He soon gave up.

Thinking about it, I've been flashed at to move when I was overtaking at >90mph in the outside lane on the M40. Staggering.