Friends DC eating so much crap all the time

[letsmargaritatime]

Not just one friend, every friend. Plus my siblings, well that is how it feels. I posted before about my overweight dd (I can't work out how to link to it) and had some advice on here which I have been trying to follow. But this half term has been like every other school holiday, every occasion and meet up has to involve loads of food, and every friend I meet up with seems to constantly ask their dc if they are hungry (surely they would fucking say if they are at ten years old, why ask?!) And producing snacks all the time. Even the snacks that aren't so bad are still calorific (home-made banana bread, flapjacks etc) I'm so fed up with it

Nobody gets it, and they don't give a shit because their kids are skinny. And say unhelpful things like "oh she will grow into her weight" I know I'm being unkind to my friends but I just don't understand why dc can't get together and play without bags of sweets, packets of crisps, popcorn, chocolate buttons, fruit shoots, and I can't single out my dd and her not to be the one to have it. I have literally no other friends who have overweight dc and posting here hoping people in a similar situation will get how I feel

Worst of all was friend saying that if I stop overthinking it, it wouldn't be a problem. So basically if I let her eat whatever she wants the weight will fall off 😡

What about simply taking a more relaxed attitude during meet ups? If her diet is healthy most of the time, just let her be one of the kids the rest of it.

I totally agree with you OP. Parents these days can't bear for their kids to be hungry and therefore they are always snacking. In your situation I think I'd take out some healthy snacks, carrot sticks, apples and in that situation say none of your children are allowed that crap even the slim ones. Because even if it's not making them fat it's still not good for their teeth etc. Then you aren't singling her out and you're keeping all your kids healthier!

I think it is fair enough for friends to feed their children what they want but I do agree with you overall about snacking. As a child of the 70's snacks were not a thing I experienced and I don't think we had the obesity issues of today.

OP
I completely get it. It's so hard. DS was like this in primary / early secondary. His friends would eat (literally) thousands of cals and remain xylophone-ribbed.. DS was very overweight and unhappy.

It is very hard (impossible?) to single your child out when they are with their peers.

We kept doing what you are.. very healthy meals at home .. water etc.. then sport and height took over and the weight issue resolved.

Only those with an overweight child and healthy attitudes will understand... it's not easy at all - you have my sincerest sympathies x

I think at some point it usually catches up with them. No one can go on eating that much forever. I think it's going to be equally hard enough for them at some point to suddenly change the habit of snacking and putting away family packs of Doritos.

Why can't you DD have something like a banana as a snack when with her friends? If she is on a healthy eating plan I don't see why this couldn't be factored in.

op did you see Doctor in the House this week. There was an 11 year old on there despite good diet and very active he was obese' It turned out his gut flora was the problem. He was told to eat 2 stewed apples a day with cinnamon and fruit and veg from all the colour groups each day I think he lost 2 stone quite rapidly

Sorry link doesnt work . Its Doctor in the House on iplayer series 2 episode 3

I think it's your friends (the other parents) who are being really rude and unreasonable. I won't even get my daughter a fruitshoot if I've already heard one of my friends telling their child that they can't have one. Because friends stick together? And any avoided dramas with kids, whether your own or someone else's is a win in my books.

What about offering to bring the group snacks for the next get together? That way you can manage what gets dished out?

YANBU OP.

How we eat in groups when socialising sends strong signs to children about what normal patterns and behaviours are.

There is nothing good can be said about a giant bag of Doritos after a meal.

I feel judged for not allowing my slim DC to graze unfettered even though I know the big picture - about the healthy meal defrosting at home for later which will go to waste after the effort and expense in preparing it if they munch a pile of snacks after swimming.

Food is so readily available though I do think learning/teaching her willpower at a young age is the only way forward if your DDs appetite seems to have no restriction on it.

Food is so readily available though

And things like bags of crisps are two or 3 times the size they used to be.

Multiple bags aren't so bad but the singles you grab from the newsagent are huge yet kids are still given a whole one. My dd regularly asks for a whole bag as all her friends have one but I refuse because they are just so much larger.

Everything also has 20/33 % extra free too. A far cry from the 10 pence with of sweets I got once a fortnight

@Excited101 I consider raisins along the same lines as a biscuit or other sweet treats, they are just non-messy and come in handy boxes that keep a two year old quiet! 😁

Have you taken her to the gp in case it is thyroid/ lipodema/ something else? Plump children don't usually seem to have bigger arms and legs so it could be worth you talking to the gp without her there? Ignore this if you know she is a big eater- for example, will she eat a lot of the Doritos when other just have a few? If she is the youngest does she have the same size portions as her siblings (this is a common reason for youngest children to gain weight)? Does she drink enough water?

This might sound daft but on days when you are out with friends and you know there is going to be a lot of food around, know it isn't always predictable, can you give a lighter breakfast, maybe have a lighter tea when you get home, big bowl of homemade soup or something. Dont know if that would help or take your own snacks but share them, making sure yours are a slightly healthier, but not too obviously healthier version, thinking salted popcorn rather than crisps, packs of three jaffa cakes rather than huge cookies, ice lollies rather than ice cream.