To go to a private health club swimming pool, and whilst getting dressed a nine yr old boy walks in with his mother!!!

[bubblicious]

What makes it even worse that he goes to the school where I work!

Just wondered as I have 3DDs so it has never been an issue for me, at what age is it reasonable for a child to get changed in the right changing room! (this swimming pool has separate changing rooms!

I have to say Im not a prude but there are only 2 changing cubicles!

I'd much rather a 9 yr old boy be with his mum in the changing rooms than be alone in a room full of strang men, any of whom could have a thing for young boys.

I will loook this thread up when DS is 9 and see what i think then!

For now a few things occur to me. Several male friends have said things which indicate that by 9 young boys are (quite naturallly - nothing to do with perviness or any kind of inappropriateness) beginning to have a sexual response to adult women. One described hilariously his hours spent being made to wait at the side of his mother's yoga class and the lycra and open-legged poses etc etc - and i can remember my own brother being boggle-eyed on the naturaist beaches of North Norfolk that my parents used to drag us to, hippy and liberal-like as they were!
And I think at 8 or 9 I would let DS into a male changing room - given that this is a private health club, so all the people I there will be traceable by address etc, and there are usually photo id membership cards.

I knew at 7 what to do if anyone said or did anything inappropriate (my girls school was surrounded by a flasher-infeste park), so think DS would be able to understand the basics.

I suppose though Blu- tracing them is all very well, but if they've been attacked as DS1 was, its too late isn't it? I mean, fortunately it was a black eye / minor head injury- it could ahev been worse. So I can't ever risk it happening again- when they can't go into the womens chanaging, they will be able (hopefully) to go in pairs as they have each other (something I do with toilet trips now) but the younger ds isn't able for it yet.

ds1 is 8, and when I can he sytill comes in the ladies, loos too.

I worry about unsavoury people if he is on his own getting changed

Well, My 7 year old's swimming lesson was today and I have been thinking a lot about this thread. I asked the pool what their policy was and they said 'from 8, boys are expected to go into the men's changing rooms'. I checked out the family room. You have to walk through the ladies and the showers are communal, so not a great deal of help. I had a chat with my son about various worst-case scenarios and he said 'I'd tell them no and come find you', 'I'd walk away' etc. I had also talked to DH about it, who said the changing area is completely open, any pervy bloke would be quickly hounded out by dads. So, the upshot is, my DS2, 7, is still going to go into the men's changing rooms.

There was a boy assaulted at a pool near my parents in London when changing in mens area alone - also it was not that long ago a girl of similar age was assulted in a supermarket toilet while her parents waited for her outside - a man had gone in and loitered in there waiting for an unaccompanied child to go in. It does happen and as a parent of 3 boys I would say it would be at the discretion of the parents whether they felt comfortable letting their child change alone. Would you be happy letting a 9 year old girl change in an area separate to you where there may be men changing? Just because they are boys doesn't make them any safer at that age.

Am with Julia here....just because they are boys they still have a right to feel save, and it does kinda depend on the area and the child, I would think!

No, I wouldn't let a nine year old girl change with strange naked men around because it would be horrendously embarrassing for her. It's my son who's telling me very clearly that it's embarrassing for him to be made to change in the women's, simply because he feels ready to go to the men's and does a great job - he's in and out in five minutes etc. Loads of dads and sons are in there at the same time. In my opinion, he is safe.

She didn't need to take him anywhere. He can go in the men's.

Oh, Jesus... ok, I change my mind.