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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To go to a private health club swimming pool, and whilst getting dressed a nine yr old boy walks in with his mother!!!

113 replies

bubblicious · 18/03/2007 18:06

What makes it even worse that he goes to the school where I work!

Just wondered as I have 3DDs so it has never been an issue for me, at what age is it reasonable for a child to get changed in the right changing room! (this swimming pool has separate changing rooms!

I have to say Im not a prude but there are only 2 changing cubicles!

OP posts:
franca70 · 18/03/2007 18:07

would it have been better for his mum to take him to the men's changing rooms?

SueW · 18/03/2007 18:08

Most clubs have a no over 8s rule round here. After that they have to use family changing or send boys into the men's changing rooms.

bubblicious · 18/03/2007 18:08

I have to say Id think by the age of 9 he wouldnt need anyone to get him dressed or want to go into the ladies!

OP posts:
SueW · 18/03/2007 18:09

Clubs round here that is

overdraft · 18/03/2007 18:09

The age is 8 at ours. I have two ds of8 and 10 and I don't feel right about letting them change on their own in the mens ( i do though because thats the rules).

PestoMonster · 18/03/2007 18:09

I think at my gym children over 8 have to go into the correct sex changing room. There are notices up requesting this, so I don't think you are being unreasonable to feel a bit uncomfortable about this.

Ladymuck · 18/03/2007 18:09

Can't remember which but at our club boys aren't allowed in the female changing rooms from 8 or 9.

geekgrrl · 18/03/2007 18:09

the private gym I go to specifies that boys over 8 have to get changed in the men's. So no, I don't think you are being unreasonable. 9 year olds are more than capable of not needing mummy when getting changed, and a private health club is a pretty secure place.

overdraft · 18/03/2007 18:10

I mean because of perverts.There's no winner is there? We should have a family room.

SpagblogisaClusterfuck · 18/03/2007 18:11

My brother was younger than this when the health club we attended asked my mother to stop taking him into the ladies changing room.

He set the alarm off in the sauna and pressed the fire alarm button.
A fireman found him hiding in a locker. The rest of us were shivering in our towels outside the front of the hotel it was held in.

So I think they wished they had let him stay in the ladies under proper supervision!!!

VioletBaudelaire · 18/03/2007 18:11

Were you naked?
Was there anywhere else she could have taken him so they could get changed together eg: family cubicle.
If so, I think they should go there.
If not, it wouldn't bother me.

overdraft · 18/03/2007 18:11

What Gym do you go to? ours is a Virgin Active

bubblicious · 18/03/2007 18:12

almost, I had just put my pants on and was struggling with a damp bra!lol

OP posts:
VioletBaudelaire · 18/03/2007 18:13
Grin
PestoMonster · 18/03/2007 18:13

Esporta - ours

edam · 18/03/2007 18:13

eeek can imagine it being a pupil was a tad embarrassing.

singersgirl · 18/03/2007 18:14

The two gyms I've been members of have an 8 and over policy, as does our local swimming pool. The pool has family changing though.

stitch · 18/03/2007 18:16

nine year olds should not be allowed in the ladies changing rooms
however, at nine, i think they are too young to go into the mens changing rooms alone. therefore at this age i think it essential to have family changing rooms.
i would complain in writing to the management.
ds1 refused to go into the ldies at age 7. only now at 9.11 hve i reluctanlty allowe d him into the mens on his own. luckily we have a family room

tigermoth · 18/03/2007 18:17

hmm as a mother of sons, I would feel a bit worried about letting a 9 year old go in alone to the men's changing room.

If your private health club does not have family changing rooms, then I think the mother of the boy had little choice but to bring him in to the women's changing rooms with her.

Mind you, there should have been a notice displayed about children changing in single sex changing rooms, so you were not unclear about it.

I think your issue is with the health club, not the parent.

If there was a family room but the mother chose to not use it, then she was being (a bit) thoughtless IMO, but not highly unreasonable - 9 is still pretty young.

I can see it might possibly be more embarassing if the child was from your school, but she was hardly to know that.

I remember going to exercise classs and taking my 8 year old son with me. No creche facilities for him ( he was to old for them) so he used to sit at the side of the room playing with his gameboy while the class went on. Then a woman complained about having a boy watching her while she was exercising. The teacher asked me to leave him at home. I could only do that as I had a partner at home who could look after him. What if I had been a single mum without much childcare support?

I think there is a gross lack of facilites for women who want to exercise or swim and need to/want to take older children along with them. Sorry a bit off on a tangent....

Blandmum · 18/03/2007 18:18

Where we go the cut off is age 8, for either sex in the others changing room

Blandmum · 18/03/2007 18:21

And TBH I don't think that 9 is too young to be changing etc on their own. At that age I was walking 30 minutes to the local sports centre on my own and getting myself sorted.

Dh is taking ds into the mens changing room to get him used to the idea, as ds will have to be on his tod when he is 8

bubblicious · 18/03/2007 18:21

Dont get me wrong,I am all to well aware of "weirdos" but honestly I have to say that if my DH took my DDs swimming I would be horrified if he took them into the mens!

OP posts:
trice · 18/03/2007 18:24

A woman complained about me taking my ds into the ladies changing at the leisure centre. He is 5. He would not be able to get dressed properly on his own and there are no family changing facilities. He is quite tall so she probably thought he was older. I should have told her to go and get in a cubicle.

I think I would be a bit embarrassed about a 9 year old though.

geekgrrl · 18/03/2007 18:24

but how likely are they to encounter a 'pervert' in the men's changing room?
Where I go the changing rooms are communal and there are always at least 3 or 4 other people getting changed. I would have no problem letting a 9 year old get changed on his/her own.
But then I don't think there are peedofiles luking on every street corner ready to snatch my children, either.

stitch · 18/03/2007 18:25

tigerrmoth, i dont think you can compare sitting at the side of an aerobics class with beign starkers in the ladies chnging room.
the problem is certainly with the management, rther than the mom. however if they dont have family rooms available, then she simply shouldnt have taken him swimming there.

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