To go to a private health club swimming pool, and whilst getting dressed a nine yr old boy walks in with his mother!!!

[bubblicious]

What makes it even worse that he goes to the school where I work!

Just wondered as I have 3DDs so it has never been an issue for me, at what age is it reasonable for a child to get changed in the right changing room! (this swimming pool has separate changing rooms!

I have to say Im not a prude but there are only 2 changing cubicles!

At our pool there is an age limit of 7 and dd1 is very conicous when there are boys older than her in the changing rooms.Don't know why people do it when there is family rooms available.

At my gym there are different sections in each changing room. So parents with children would get changed in the first section, where there is a changing mat for the babies and a play pen. The remaining sections, children are not allowed. IN this way, even if a 9 year old was in there, he wouldn't be in the furthest part of the changing area.

8 is the rule round us
cannot believe someone complained about a five year old ---she has 'ishoos'

concious even

My 7 year old DS2 gets himself changed on his own in the men's changing room at the local swimming pool because he doesn't want to seem like a baby by going to the ladies with me.

When we go to the gym the place is packed. I don't think that ds would be in 'danger' as the place is full of people. Ditto when dh took the kids, dd went into the ladies on her own. If there had been a wierdo there they would have been able to 'do' anything, the place is packed to the gunnels!

they don't wear a hat saying I like looking at little boys though. I don't think I am wrong to asume that perverts wear raincoats and can't afford a gym membership.

no, I don;t think that. But I do know that when we go the place is packed with loads of families, and I seriously doubt that and odd bod would be able to do anything in front of a cast of thousands!

Actually really I don't know why I am getting it to that. Really I am more concerned about them remembering the lock combination for their locker,picking up all their items of clothing and behaving thierselves.

I bet when my two are in there you get men saying they shouldn't be in here with out an adult. You can't please everyone

True overdraft, but they have to learn sometime!

My boys are 7 and 9 and have been getting changed for swimming on their own in the gents for ages now. There is family changing, but it's always very crowded. When they go swimming with school they have to sort themselves out, and having been swimming since birth they know the routine.

PS I didn't know there was an age limit of 7 Nikkie! I presume that's where I think it is!

Actually I took the DSs (8 and 5) into the women's changing rooms to get their karate kit on - there is usually no-one in there. But there were some girls from Y5 from their school and DS1 did a runner to a cubicle as soon as he saw them. I've just realised that he is 8 now, and should therefore go into the men's. He would be OK with it and so would I.

I see the problem. I have a 7 year old boy I have to take into the women's lockerroom with me. He's sensitive and mature enough not to gawk though. I agree, though, that it's not ideal. But I worry too much to let him into the men's room alone. I think that's not too unreasonable either. Especially at 7. I don't know: 9 yrs old might be different. I don't have a 9-year-old so I don't know. So I think maybe you might try to see the other side, the side you don't have to deal with as you have 3 dds. But I sympathize, especially as you work in the school where he is a student. That makes things totally different because you're not some anonymous woman to him. But still: what's the mother going to do?

Crikey! I would be worried about sending our children into the changing rooms on their own, sorry. In a school situation they are supervised - even if they don't need it for getting their socks on etc, but more from a paedophilic stranger danger point of view!
My children are 7 and 3 and can come into the changing room with me at the moment. There is also a family changing room, thankfully. The age restriction is 8 at our gym (Next Generation), but to be honest our daughter (7) is more than switched on and I think that it is unacceptable to allow her to go into the men's changing rooms. I am not sheltering her at all, merely introducing an amount of privacy for a quickly developing child and for the other men changing!
Feeling a right prude now...........I suppose we all have to set our own moral ground when it comes to this.................

yeah same place Roisin I was in once when a lady complained .
next town(D) is quite strict about it and think theirs is 8 .

Although I agree in general the fear of paedophiles is ludicrously overstated, I DO actually think in changing rooms there is a certain risk. It is a place where there are quite obviously going to be unattended, naked children, and I personally know of several incidents where adults and children have been spied on or worse while in cubicles. I mean, several incidents that have actually happened to friends of mine.

I wouldn't be at all happy for my ds to go in another changing room by himself, until he was quite a bit older than 8. There MUST be family changing rooms available - there's no other feasible alternative.

Normally my two Ds's go in together (10 and 7). I really do't want to stop the 7 year old doing it as HE would actually feel embarrassed to be made to shower with the naked ladies! I do realise though that I haven't really explained to them the danger of predatory men. I've trusted that the regular men in there with their children would immediately intervene if anything dodgy was going on. How DO you explain it to children without freaking them out? Please help me!

I think 8 is the usual cut off point. It's good to get children used to being alone and looking after themselves anyway and that's good enough age whether it's their father sending girls into the girls changing room or vice versa. I've often had to find a random man though to go in and hurry mine up.

I am not comfortable about my 7 year old going into the men's changing room by himself but he would stick pins in his eyes before he came into the ladies' with me
I tried for as long as I could to take him in with me but at about 6 and a half he put his foot down and refused to come into the ladies' with me. So, when we can, we use the family changing rooms but if we can't he goes into the men's. I then prowl up and down the entrance and time him. He knows that if he isn't out in 5 minute I am coming to find him and that would finish him off I think so so far he has made it in 5 minutes
Also, the changing rooms are completely open plan (no quiet corners, nooks and crannies) and we only go at very busy times. So, for every potential weirdie there must be god knows how many 'normal' blokes to put off wierdies from doing anything untoward surely?

i have a nine year old boy
I wouldn't feel comfortable letting him go in the mens changing by himself
They have a family change at our leisure centre...so if i'm on my own with both of mine i use that.
No you aren't unreasonable to feel uncomfortable though.

And most child abuse is done by family members by the way. There are not huge risks to children in general from most strangers despite what you read in the press.

When I worked as a lifeguard in a local authority pool I was told that the over 8 rule was a bylaw.

So true Xenia - people are so scared of stranger danger and never think twice about lovely uncle fred in the corner because he doesn;t look like a paedophile and they've known him years.

I wouldn't worry about it, it's not all about sex. It was just normal. Nobody is perving. We're all human. Relax and stop reading into things so much. ffs he is just a child out with his mummy.

"There are not huge risks to children in general from most strangers despite what you read in the press"

No of course not. But I personally know of three women and girls who have been spied on or flashed at etc in changing room cubicles - I think it is a place where predatory people could target. I wouldn't feel totally comfortable about it myself.