To think DH should let me drive for once?

[Diam0nd7]

Will your DH ever let you drive a car if he is a passenger in it? Even though DH currently has his hand in a hard plastic support due to two broken fingers (so I have been offering to drive recently), he still refuses to be a passenger if I'm driving. I've realised today this has been going on as long as I've known him, but I never really thought about it until now. I've been driving for about 20 years, but I don't think I've ever had him as a passenger. I drive the kids all over London every day and am hardly a nervous driver. I have also had less scrapes than him over the years. AIBU to think this he is BU about this?

"let" - as if my Dh has to "let" me do things

Are you living in the 1950s?

I don't enjoy driving so my husband usually always drives. This is beneficial for me if we are out socialising 🍹 however he had a stroke a couple of months ago and can't drive just now so the tables have turned. I admit I am quite enjoying driving more but he will have more to worry about than his stroke if he doesn't learn to shut up from the passenger seat 😇

I always drive, I'm a terrible passenger, annoying to dh as I'm quick to flinch and press the invisible brake pedal and we ALWAYS row if he drives us on the motorway. I like driving though and I'm better at parking

I don't think it's odd, I am the worst passenger, even my freind hands me her keys if we are going in her car!

I do ALL the driving, DH never drives. He is a professional driver, there is nothing wrong with his driving. I just have to be the driver because I suck at relaxing.

It's a control thing.
They pass it off as "oh I'm a bad/nervous passenger" but its really "I want to be in control and not you"

My partner does the same. He Will only get in my car when hes incredibly drunk. But he has to drive us to where ever hes drinking. Flat out refuses to be driven by me.

And yes I've seen him offer to let his friends drive his car with him as the passenger, so he doesn't mind doing it.

Depends how stubborn your dh is, I've said to mine in the past "screw you then I'm not getting in the car unless I'm driving."
And he just says "fine we're not going then" and will happily spend the next few months not going anywhere.
So that doesn't work. So i dont know what to suggest, sorry op.

But you're not alone.

I have come across this. My (ex) husband said he did not want to be seen as passenger when we drove together - in my car- to meet my parents for the first time. I ignored this. Second time, my boss was injured and could not drive, and his wife asked me if I could give him a lift home from work. I agreed, boss was nasty all the way to his home - explicitly about being driven. Wished I had not bothered.

On family days out DH usually drives however if I want to drive I do.

Might be worth checking if your DH is even insured to drive with his fingers taped up.

If one normally drives and the other doesn't and both are happy with it then that's one thing, but when he's injured? That's bonkers.

Someone who can't bend their hand wouldn't be driving my kids anywhere. How much control does he have over the steering wheel if he needs to swerve etc? Also, has he checked his insurance is ok with it?

“Will your DH ever let you drive a car if he is a passenger in it?”

Yes. Why wouldn’t he? We always share the driving on a long distance drive. Locally, I tend to drive as he really, really hates driving.

“I think your title sums up the dynamic.

"Let" you drive? Why his choice?”

Yes, this ^^

I know too many women who have found themselves at a disadvantage because their husbands always did the driving, then as the result of illness haven’t been able to drive.

In our household I probably do 90% of the driving.

DP usuall

DP usually drives because we're usually in his larger car when we go out as a family - also I find driving quite tiring, but he doesn't at all. If we're in my car, I drive.

"DP usually drives because we're usually in his larger car when we go out as a family"

So?

Large cars are no more difficult to drive than small cars are these days. They all have power steering now.

My husband refuses to drive so I have to do it all.. I feel like a chauffeur..

I'm more than happy to let my DW drive no matter where we're going or whose car we use cos it increases the chances of me getting a pint or two down my neck.

DH usually drives, for no other reason than he doesn't get much chance to drive our car and it's frankly a very nice car, I drive it 7 days a week so I'm happy for him to drive.

My only bugbear is that he never lets me listen to Radio 4.

DH says I'm actually a pretty good drive, if slightly too fast but he trusts me, my Dad races cars for a hobby so I've clearly inherited my heavy right foot from him. When we were dating DH let me drive his supercar, on the motorway... that was jolly good fun!

That is weird. Why does he do it? I don't really notice who drives more. It is probably whoever locked up the house and so had the keys in hand.

Long duration drives we take two hour stints. Short I usually drive as I have a company car.

I drive if we take my car, DP drives if we take his.

My BMW M135i is far too much fun to let him drive it!

He hasn't actually said this but I suspect he feels somehow embarrassed being driven about by a woman and I wonder what that is about. I'm not sure what he would do actually if I insisted on it, probably a lot of huffing and puffing and telling me I'm being ridiculous.
He has two cars which I would never drive anyway which he keeps in rented garages down a dingy alley (nearby but I'm not sure where) and brings one of these out when he's going out alone or with me (without DC), but I like to think of the family car we have parked in the street as mine so it's annoying.
I did tell him it's unsafe to drive with his hand like that but he takes no notice.

DH usually drives if we're together because he gets car sick as a passenger. However we can and do alternate for short journeys - or if we are driving really long distances where he'll try and sleep so that he doesn't get ill. Not remotely precious about whose car we use; I picked him up and dropped him off yesterday in his car and deliberately changed all of his aircon settings just to annoy him

So tomorrow say 'I'm driving' or 'it's my turn to drive'

We shared driving pretty evenly. At family BBQs I did all the driving as I don't drink wine and he does but he did all the long holiday drives through the UK, France, Germany etc. I do all of that now as he has a heart condition and could arrest at any time, it's unlikely but could happen. He has an ICD to get his heart going again. I don't mind too much me being a passenger on local roads but won't get in on the motorway with him driving. He's also a very grumpy driver which stresses the kids and me.

OH encourages me to drive him as he drives due to work he is happy to be a passenger, often sits in the back and gets DD to sit in the front if she's with me.

My dad though rarely used to let me or my mum drive as he always got so travel sick - getting out the car and throwing up sick. So it was best he drove

I've recently learned to drive and I think DH is struggling with being a passenger now.

I drive as much as possible for the practice but if I'm taking a while to park he makes me get out so he can do it. We had a bit of a row about it yesterday, how am I supposed to get better at parking if he always does it?!

He does 'phantom pedals' too. I see his right leg stretching when he thinks I should be braking, drives me mental!

Squished - That's what I did. I told him I was driving today because of his hand and he opened the passenger door and said, "Please hurry up and shop making a scene".