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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it unreasonable to move out when DCs are still at school/college?

108 replies

movingoutmovingon · 30/05/2017 23:09

Just wondering about this: would you move in with a new partner if your children were adults (18) but still living at home, doing A levels?

Obviously still continue to support them financially and drop in once a week?

OP posts:
Ravenblack · 30/05/2017 23:14

Eh? You mean leave them on their own to run the house you mean? Confused

Are you going to be paying 2 sets of bills?

Original poster
movingoutmovingon · 30/05/2017 23:16

Moving in with new partner. So contributing towards their bills.

OP posts:
AvoidingCallenetics · 30/05/2017 23:17

I wouldn't. 18 is barely adult. They still need you to be there imho.

LovingLola · 30/05/2017 23:18

What?? Are you serious?
Is it your own house or rented?

Ravenblack · 30/05/2017 23:19

If they are still doing A levels, then you are still legally responsible for them surely... You will probably still be getting child benefit for them. Why are you leaving them? Confused

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/05/2017 23:19

I wouldn't. What if it upsets your dc and causes them to mess up their exams - and, by extension, their future?

Exams will be over soon enough - you are a grown up, you can wait a few weeks. Don't prioritise your love life over your child's exams. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it is how I feel.

AnyFucker · 30/05/2017 23:19

Why wouldn't they go with you ? Confused

LittleBearPad · 30/05/2017 23:19

You are kidding!

Of course it would be unreasonable.

Original poster
movingoutmovingon · 30/05/2017 23:19

Own house. To move in with a new partner.

OP posts:
BrutusMcDogface · 30/05/2017 23:19

No way would I leave my 18 year old to run a household while I shacked up with a new partner! Is there no way your partner could move in with you and the kids?

PickAChew · 30/05/2017 23:19

PLenty of 18yo who don't get into student digs, or aren't even students live independently. I would assume the OP would want to put being supportive over a regular shag, no?

LovingLola · 30/05/2017 23:21

Have you asked your children what they think?

Will you be paying all the bills? Are they competent with cooking, washing, cleaning etc?

Ravenblack · 30/05/2017 23:21

Can partner not move in with you and your children?

This all sounds a bit odd. I wouldn't be leaving MY sixth form age children alone in a house to fend for themselves and pay bills and cook and clean and do shopping and do their washing and ironing and sorting finances etc themselves, while I swanned off to the boyfriends house.

YAB VVVVVVVVVVV U!

Original poster
movingoutmovingon · 30/05/2017 23:21

No, won't move in. It's not my situation by the way.

OP posts:
LovingLola · 30/05/2017 23:22

And if you break up with the new partner will you just swan back home and into their lives again?

Original poster
movingoutmovingon · 30/05/2017 23:22

It's only one child the other is away at university.

OP posts:
FlippinNorah · 30/05/2017 23:23

So would that 1 18 year old be in the house alone?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/05/2017 23:23

I don't think it makes it any better that it is 'only one child'!

Frankly, I think it would be a really shitty thing to do to a child in the middle of their A levels.

arethereanyleftatall · 30/05/2017 23:23

I think in your circumstances, I'd just wait till gets finish their alevels. It can't be that far away, then you've got the rest of your life.

AliTheMinx · 30/05/2017 23:24

Totally unreasonable and selfish! Your children need your support - they should surely come first??!

Original poster
movingoutmovingon · 30/05/2017 23:24

Yes Norah

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 30/05/2017 23:24

Whose situation is this ?

Carolinethebrave · 30/05/2017 23:25

No, I wouldn't
YABU
And irresponsible

choccywoccywoowah · 30/05/2017 23:25

Oh for crying out loud. Some posters are being given ridiculous. I lived on my own at 17 and attended college. They are not babies. If they are happy with it OP, then I would.

Original poster
movingoutmovingon · 30/05/2017 23:25

Erm it was mine actually Blush but I was the child.

It was always presented as 100% totally normal. So I still feel stupid feeling bad about it.

OP posts: