Is this the most stupid parent ever?

[Booboostwo]

Beat this one if you can.

DD has a best friend at school. We often invite the little girl and her parents reciprocate. The first time DD was to be driven by the friend's mum I asked if they needed to take DD's car seat, but the mum said that it was not needed as she had a lot of spare ones.

DD came back from that visit saying that the friend's mum had not strapped her into the car seat but DD was 4yo at the time and I put it down to DD making up stories. DD was driven twice more each time saying she had not been strapped in which got me a bit worried.

The friend had picked up her DD the other day and we were chatting to them while they were both in the car. The friend was not strapped in as she was standing up and showing DD something out of the window. The friend sat back down in her seat and the mum went to drive off, so I said 'oh be careful she doesn't have her seat belt on', to which the mum replied 'It's OK she's sitting in her car seat'.

Is this the world's stupidest parent? Does she really think that the seat itself somehow magically keeps a child safe in case of an accident? Or am I even more stupid for entrusting my DD to this woman?

We drove from the UK to France in the early 90s, 2 adults and 4 children under 12 in a 5 seater car. I was the smallest at about 4 so used to sit in the footwell. Thinking back now its a bit crazy that no-one batted an eyelid and that our parents didn't contemplate it might be dangerous, but as PPs have said it's a cultural change that takes place. We never had a car big enough for the 6 of us growing up. Crazy!

As a student nurse 25 years ago I came across a baby who was having frequent seizures. It turned out that his young mum gave him a baby wipe to suck on while she changed his nappy and dressed him. Apparently Methylparabens etc aren't good for babies. Who knew.

I knew one who would sit her toddler on her lap inside the seat belt. I asked her if she worried about the crush injuries he would get in an accident if he got squashed between her being flung forward and the seat belt holding him. She looked at me like I was mad and said he was safe, everyone knew that seatbelts kept you safe.

Snap! I knew a woman who did this too! She was a doctors wife too, so one might have thought that he would have suggested it wasn't safe?!

She wanted to grab a lift with me like that once - i refused, and she said it was ok, because she took full responsibility for any danger (so she sort of knew?!)...so that'd make me feel a lot better if she crushed her little girl if I had to do an emergency stop when a cat ran out...

She didn't get a lift...

I'll offer my mother: who told me that "babies float" (apparently in both baths and swimming pools), and while she put plug protectors in every open socket in her house when we visited (US, so actually needed) when DD was 6mo, she left massive heavy floor lamps with loose cords trailing across the floor and opened windows at floor level on second and third stories and seemed surprised I didn't want my baby crawling near the giant holes to outside!

I'm amazed I'm alive...

We were driving along the motor way the other day and this big shiny 17 plate land rover (I was lusting over it) pulled up beside us and the kid was literally hanging out the front passenger side window (so not even a seatbelt on) giving us the finger!! He was only about 5 and his dad was just laughing. I couldn't believe it. It carried on for ages as we kept catching up and my kids (strapped in) were so confused!! Shocking

emmakc - you should have phoned the police.

I had a fairly tense exchange with the PIL at one point because of them insisting on taking son (not quite two at the time) for a drive up and down the street on Grandma's knee.
I had already stopped letting them look after him, after finding him about six inches from a four foot drop on some decking when he was less than one. I'm not sure what they thought the consequences would be of a fall like that.
They're both very 'but nothing will happen' kind of people. No, it won't, because I won't let it.

Last summer I was on the beach in the uk and I saw a man swimming out to sea, towing an inflatable dingy with two small children, approx 3 and 5 sat in it. Neither child had and kind of flotation device on, not even arm bands. He swam a good quarter of a mile out like that, there were some kayakers out who might have been able to help in an emergency, but there was no life guard (if there was I suspect the man would have been told to stop). I wouldn't have liked the children's chances if a big wave hit the dingy.

Mothers looking on fondly as their one year olds climbed UP those swirly slides you get in soft play centres as horrified 4 year olds barrelled down. The older ones couldn't see the babies from the top of the slides and certainly couldn't stop or avoid them they were on mats and going really fast.I leapt up and grabbed one baby before she was rammed by an older child using the slide correctly and looked round for the mother who was sitting beside me watching it all unfold. Durrrr some people are too dumb to be parents.

The most stupid parent in the US was the woman who stored her gun in her handbag and let her two year old rifle through it during a shopping trip. The toddler shot the woman and killed her. I'm sad for the woman but what a stupid and un-necessary way to die, and how horrible for the toddler when they understand what they accidentally did.

I have a Facebook friend in my neighborhood who I went out to lunch with a couple of times with her friend group. She was going to buy a little gun to keep in her bra. We're going to stay on line friends only for now. I don't fancy being accidentally shot in the chest over a glass of chardonnay.

probably

I can remember in my sleep-deprived days of early parenthood, going to get the baby out of the car and realised I had strapped the car seat into the car... but not the baby into the car seat straps dangling and everything. I didn't tell XP, he would have used it against me.

Years ago (35+) my parents had a Morris Minor traveller (like an estate) and my DB and I used to sleep in the back of it coming home from days out, proper lie down sleeping with blankets. It wasn't such an issue back then, cars were slower and there were fewer of them on the road

So twice I have not successfully fastened the car seat while my 5 mo baby was in the back. This was when he was a bit younger, probs around 3 months. I'm really short and so I can't reach over the car seat to plug the seatbelt in, I have to thread it through the car seat and then run round the other side and plug it in. However I have, somehow forgotten** to actually plug it in and not noticed until I've been driving. Had to pull over and click it in.
Felt absolutely shit both times and now I triple check every time, takes me ages to get anywhere!

Not sure if it's better or worse really, but when I was younger we went to my friend's house. Unbeknownst to my mum they had also invited some other friends so the mum put seven of us on the back seat with no seat belts. It was the nineties so definitely not the done thing anymore. The baby was in a car seat in the front. Then we went round a corner and the car seat fell off the seat as it wasn't strapped in. The baby was dangling upside down in the footwell the mum just grabbed the carseat and put it back on the seat like it was nothing! My mum always insisted on dropping us at their house after that...

I've told this before but...

my XMIL used to look after my oldest son when I returned to work (he was 9months, crawling/just walking). I discovered, on a visit to the loo in their bungalow, that she left bottles of bleach with the lids off on the floor of the bathroom, for easier cleaning.

Her response to being told that the baby would drink from them? 'Well, he'll just have to learn not to touch!'

By having his intestines burned out, presumably. Soon put a stop to that...

My sil and bil never ever strap her their dcs in the car (ages 3 to 7). When they were babies, sil would put the baby on her lap in the front. My ILs aren't from the UK. Their country has one of the highest car accident and mortality rates in the world. We actually know someone whose five week old baby was killed in an accident because she was in her mothers arms not a seat. This is one of the reasons I don't like my sil and bil. I think its utterly arrogant to have that attitude to child safety. It also pisses me off that dh hasn't the guts to say something to them.

Wow @Zaphodsotherhead she sounds like a charmer!! Even if he didn't drink it he could have spilled it and rubbed it in his eyes or just getting neat bleach on a babies skin gives me the fear.

God I've been questioning myself all day today and I wonder why after reading some of these. Was in the bus station son kicking up a strop decided he wanted to sit on the floor he wasn't in the way was tucked next to me up against a wall quiet, tiled floor and I though it's "pick my battles scenario" it's not the end of the world. A little girl that he'd been smiling at nosing at talking back and too came up and said he shouldn't be sat on the floor and tried picking him up. Son wasn't bothered I thought she's only a little girl he's not bothered she'll move along and that's what happened. Speaking to OH and he thought it was terrible and I should have told her to leave him alone. So I've been questioning myself which I absolutely hate, wondering if I should have told her to stop but reading some of these I think I'll give myself a quick tap on the head lol

my 2 yr granddaughter gets her arms out of her seat as soon as we start to drive the straps are pulled as tight as we can get them but she still manages to get arms out any ideas

Suzy2B you can use reins to strap over the harness. Basically a double imprisonment.

Question for you all - would I be stupid to take my five month old punting? The sides of the punt are very low... My mother thinks I'm being over cautious though.

When ds was little I told him the emfonenofmtje car didn't work until everyone was strapped in - he seemed to believe me and only once tried to wriggle out. I promptly pulled over (when sage obviously) and stopped the car, think that reinforced my 'rule'.

When I was small (aged 8 or 9) I used to go to Wales on holiday with a friend and her family. They had a Volvo estate and the two of us would travel in the boot on blankets looking out of the big back window. Was great fun going through the Mersey tunnel!! Times change.

emfonenofmtje???

Wtf is that word?? Should read 'Engine of the...'

Oh my days - when SAFE not sage (I'm not that wise)

Some of these stories are making my skin crawl!

Out of interest, what are people's thoughts on the safety of kids and babies on buses? We quite rurally and the bus gets up to 50mph between villages. Ive always found it scary to take my toddler on the bus, and now wouldn't want to take my 4 mo on. My husband thinks I'm being over cautious though.

I reckon it's probably 5 to 10 years til they decide kids need car seats in buses too.