Is this the most stupid parent ever?

[Booboostwo]

Beat this one if you can.

DD has a best friend at school. We often invite the little girl and her parents reciprocate. The first time DD was to be driven by the friend's mum I asked if they needed to take DD's car seat, but the mum said that it was not needed as she had a lot of spare ones.

DD came back from that visit saying that the friend's mum had not strapped her into the car seat but DD was 4yo at the time and I put it down to DD making up stories. DD was driven twice more each time saying she had not been strapped in which got me a bit worried.

The friend had picked up her DD the other day and we were chatting to them while they were both in the car. The friend was not strapped in as she was standing up and showing DD something out of the window. The friend sat back down in her seat and the mum went to drive off, so I said 'oh be careful she doesn't have her seat belt on', to which the mum replied 'It's OK she's sitting in her car seat'.

Is this the world's stupidest parent? Does she really think that the seat itself somehow magically keeps a child safe in case of an accident? Or am I even more stupid for entrusting my DD to this woman?

Pain no need for the ffs, it is you that cant read!

DD came back from that visit saying that the friend's mum had not strapped her into the car seat

That was the first time. The time the OP witnessed - as she clearly says in the OP - it was the friends DD unstrapped! Yet you said this, clearly getting mixed up whos DD it was OP saw unstrapped.
I don't understand how she drove off with your daughter unstrapped? Surely you must have helped her into the car and waved her off so you should have noticed

At least the other poster who got mixed up whos DD OP saw unstrapped had the grace to apologise to the OP.

I wasn't on about the time she was standing at the car.

I was on about why at any point did she not see her child into the car etc. Clearly from a later post she explains why she didn't see her child getting strapped in and that's understandable.

Not sure why you are taking my comments out of time with the thread them telling me I can't read

See if you read correctly and in order you will see that I asked my question before the ops explanation.

I remember when I was little 8 of us (2 adults and 5 children) in a morris minor, it was hilarious. But that was the 80s and it was illegal then. Nowadays it is bonkers to not strap in children properly.

I took a friends DD (3) out with me and my DD for the day. Friend's DD refused to put on her harness saying she never wore it, and the straps on her seat were so loose it was clear she was telling the truth. I refused to drive until she put it on, she stropped for about 20 seconds then put it on, no more drama. When we got back her DM was flabbergasted that I had got her to wear it as she had never bothered since her DD was a tiny baby

See if you read correctly and in order you will see that I asked my question before the ops explanation

Pain if you say so. I didnt take any of your comments out of time as its very clear from the very first post and the post at 05.56 that the OP was referring to her friends DD being unstrapped which she witnessed, no further explanation needed. Your question was later. Clearly you didnt read it properly or you have misunderstood, like the other poster.

Anyway yanbu OP!

The original post says what it does and what it says is that her daughter said she wasn't strapped in and the op didn't believe her. Please stop telling me I am wrong because it is written in black and white that I am not.

If you can prove me wrong then I apologise but until then I stand by the fact that I read the post, asked my question based on it then seen an answer after my question explaining what my question had asked.

Sat on the balcony here ( not in UK) Literally just 5 minutes ago my neighbour got into the backseat of daughter's car holding her one year old in her arms. Car seat permanently strapped in on other side of back seat! It shocks me how many young children are just sat unstrapped in the back seat.But shot journeys don't count do they?😣

There's a difference between reckless and stupid here. Not using car seats or wedging children in the foot wells is reckless (especially abroad where the roads are more dangerous than the UK). Thinking that an unsecured car seat will keep your child safe is, as the OP says, just plain thick.

Pain I dont need to prove you wrong at all. And I dont need to stop but its tiring trying to get you to read properly , so Im guessing if you dont get it now you never will. Fair enough. Its not about the post about OP not believing her DD either because your question directly relates to something that the OP had supposedly "witnessed".......Everyone can read the original post (and funny enough understand what child OP was talking about) and everyone can see you asking OP why she didnt say anything as friend drove away with OPs (but it wasnt) DD......

We walk past a family every day on our way to school, who have 5 children primary age and below. They did have a Serena, with just one baby seat in the back. Now they have an ordinary 5 seater car. Not one car seat in there. They all get in that car every morning and just jump about.

You have misread my post and are twisting it onto me. Please go an wind someone else up I've explained what I meant by my comment and you refused to believe that which is your right but it's pointless to argue with me when I obviously know more about my comment than you do. I'm sorry if I'm not the best at describing what I mean or the best at getting my point across but that's how it is.

I did not believe my DD. I should have believed my DD. I have apologised to my DD for not believing her and have told her that if another parent tries to drive off while she is not restrained she should tell them very loudly that she wants her seatbelt (she is not yet able to put it on herself just in case anyone picks on this!).

Swimming what a bizarre post! Of course I don't need validation or justification from a bunch of strangers on the internet before I make a decision! Funnily enough I do not rely on my gut either, what a weird idea! I try to think things through and sometimes I ask other people for their views. Sometimes their arguments persuade me, sometimes they do not.

You're not in the wrong for not believing your daughter op. If I had a child that had a very imaginative mind I'd be inclined not to always believe them as well.

Are you in the US OP?

Only anecdotal but an American family recently moved in near me and I've noticed that they don't use car seats at all for their younger children. They seem like a very nice sensible family so I assume they care about the safety of their children just aren't used to having to use car seats

Can you teach her to put her seat belt on too? Mine could do it at 4/5

In France. Most people use car seats for babies in our area, very few use them for young children.

When I said she cannot put on the seatbelt, I meant I have tried to teach her and she can't quite do it.

An adult seatbelt will not help a child of 4. That is why we have child seats. It is pointless to teach her to use an adult seat belt.

The adult seat belt was used to restrain my DD aged 4 in her high backed booster.

When I was breast feeding, dh, dd and I went out to the shops with my mother and stepdad. I'd already fed dd once whilst in town and said I needed to be back home to bf dd at about x time. Anyway they didn't want to leave the shops so I ended up bfeeding in the car just as we were leaving. My mother seriously expected dh to drive home with me feeding dd and was most put out when expected to wait! I just did a 15 ish minute quick feed and went home to feed again. They say huffing and puffing the whole time.

My mother bangs on about how ridiculous car seats are. And the bouncy tarmac at parks and playgrounds because children will never learn safety if they don't get hurt when they fall off some equipment. How are they supposed to learn? In her day, they knew to hang on .

I also know a child, whose parents, let her sit in the front of the car not strapped in and with no seat/booster. She is tiny for her age and despite being 9 is still some way off 135cm. They have been doing this since we met the child in reception year at school. The parents weren't born in the uk and come from a country, where safety is far less important.

ArgyMargy in a surprising twist of events my DD is not an immortal 4yo and in the two years since she first went in the woman's car, has turned 6yo. She is 121cm tall and weighs 23kg which makes a HBH plus seatbelt perfectly appropriate.

YANBU
It's no great effort to place a child in an appropriate car seat for their size. Why take the risk with something so precious? I just don't get it.

Sorry meant properly set up car seat, obviously am quite sleep deprived this morning!

I know someone who put their 4 mo in a hb booster because 'he was such a big lad'. He wasn't. Poor baby looked awful, he wasn't even sitting unsupported at the time. I convinced her enough to get him in seat with a 5 point harness but she wouldn't put him back rear facing because he didn't like it. He also apparently hated being strapped in, although whenever I drove him he made zero fuss and never touched the clip after the first time I told him 'no' - He used to unclip himself in her car, which she saw as inevitable.

I know someone who put their 4 mo in a hb booster because 'he was such a big lad'. He wasn't. Poor baby looked awful, he wasn't even sitting unsupported at the time. I convinced her enough to get him in seat with a 5 point harness but she wouldn't put him back rear facing because he didn't like it. He also apparently hated being strapped in, although whenever I drove him he made zero fuss and never touched the clip after the first time I told him 'no' - He used to unclip himself in her car, which she saw as inevitable.

4 mo in a hbb. That's crazy.