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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get annoyed with people who judge beach holidays?

297 replies

3DStanley · 28/05/2017 20:57

I get really annoyed with the type of people who say 'Oh I could never lie on the beach for two weeks, you must be so bored!' and act like the only valid use of my precious two weeks off a year is trekking barefoot through the Andes teaching orphans English.

I get especially annoyed because 95% of them seem to earn lots of money for jobs with very little stress.

AIBU?

OP posts:
jamdonut · 28/05/2017 22:14

Id just like to go on a holiday..ANY holiday. Haven't had one for at least 8 years .
Sad

Ravenblack · 28/05/2017 22:15

Have to admit that I can't understand why anyone would want to spend a fortnight just lying on a beach (I assume you mean abroad OP?) It's just that no-one in this country is any further than 70-75 miles from any beach, so I feel that you could just go to a beach in this country at the drop of a hat.

Spending some of the time on a beach on a fortnight's holiday is fine, but I would have to spend some of the time exploring, going for long walks, going on trips to villages and towns nearby, and going to a few pubs and bars etc...

I do hate the judgy attitudes (from some) though, who think they are above you, and somehow better if they go to Morocco or Peru, or to Australia. I know a woman who said 'you haven't LIVED if you haven't visited Australia.'

Errrr no thanks, over-rated over-hot dustbowl full of poisonous spiders and snakes, too far away, too expensive and so on. I know a few people who moved there, and actually hated it as (surprise surprise) LIVING there and working there and making your life there, wasn't the same as being on holiday there!

I have also had people look at me like I was a piece of shit when I stated me and DH were going away for the weekend to Blackpool. 'What THAT fucking dump?' came the response from one charmer. I am not so bothered about it now, and it has gone downhill a bit with the hen and stag parties there every weekend, but up to 10 years ago, we liked it there.

Buy yeah, people judging your holiday choice are wankers.

paxillin · 28/05/2017 22:15

I love food, wine, old ruins and paintings. All of those help me unwind from my stressful job.

A beach holiday means I am hot, bored and have the time to really worry about work. For you, they work, which is great. If everybody found them boring, they wouldn't exist.

mathanxiety · 28/05/2017 22:16

I think people who openly deride your choice of holiday are rude. Each to his own.

Original poster
3DStanley · 28/05/2017 22:18

Spending some of the time on a beach on a fortnight's holiday is fine, but I would have to spend some of the time exploring, going for long walks, going on trips to villages and towns nearby, and going to a few pubs and bars etc...

Yes, me too. I especially love finding markets.

OP posts:
jarhead123 · 28/05/2017 22:19

YANBU

MazDazzle · 28/05/2017 22:23

YANBU. I'm a little ashamed to admit that I used to judge beach holidays!

You travel half way round the world, to stay in a resort? Experiencing nothing more than a bar/beach/pool? Urgh.

3 kids in and it's my ideal holiday!

mugginsalert · 28/05/2017 22:23

YANBU OP, I do find that people find it ok to be judgey about beach holidays in a way that they wouldn't about other types of holiday (except perhaps holiday camp things). You wouldn't look at someone else's dinner and say it made you feel sick so why would you puncture someone's excitement about their holiday by detailing why it's just not good enough for you.

Chrisinthemorning · 28/05/2017 22:25

Never had anyone say this to me, seems rude. We go on lots of holidays, just back today from Menorca in fact. We had a ball, did very little and soaked up the sun. DS went to kids club every morning (his choice) and played in the pool all afternoon. He cried because he didn't want to come home.
My idea of a rubbish holiday would be skiing. Chilly and expensive but I would never say this to skiers, I just say wow, have a fab time.

biggesttwuntinhistory · 28/05/2017 22:25

saying 'oh i could never do that' isn't deriding though, its just chitchat innit. I get people saying they 'could never do' what i get up to on holiday - it's fine, they aren't invited Grin

sysysysref · 28/05/2017 22:25

We didn't love Orlando at all 3D . We endured it so that the kids could tick it off their list but they weren't that bothered by it either and have never spoken of it or mentioned it again. We loved the state of Florida, but Orlando, boring, dull and soulless unless you love 24/7 funfairs

mathanxiety · 28/05/2017 22:26

No, it's a negative comparison to their own choice unless they have an allergy to sunlight and salt water and actually cannot lie on a beach.

TheMysteriousJackelope · 28/05/2017 22:28

It's not so much judging your holiday, they are judging you, making it personal.

I like visiting Disneyland, with or without my DC. It is one thing for someone to say 'Meh, Disney isn't for me', or 'I don't like going to theme parks', it's quite another to comment 'Only ill-educated, immature, muppets visit Disney without children' which is the sort of comment that shows up on Mumsnet every time Disney is mentioned.

biggesttwuntinhistory · 28/05/2017 22:30

nobody's judging though are they, they just have to think up some response to the news of your holiday, what are they meant to do, lie about how amazing they find beach holidays? Hmm Is all social interaction doomed to become faked agreement?

KERALA1 · 28/05/2017 22:30

Horses for courses but op has a point about snootiness - somehow camping in the rain and hiking in the Lake District is more "worthy" than sitting by a pool in Spain. Active types insinuating pool sitters are lazy gits are tiresome.

Ravenblack · 28/05/2017 22:33

I'm sorry but 'oh I could never do that.' IS rude. It's passive aggressive, snarky, and judgy. People can sugar coat it as just making conversation, but it's a thinly veiled dig. They are basically saying your choices are shit, and also a bit stupid.

@3dstanley I like markets in overseas countries too! Smile

MaisyPops · 28/05/2017 22:36

why it's just not good enough for you.
somehow camping in the rain and hiking in the Lake District is more "worthy" than sitting by a pool in Spain. Active types insinuating pool sitters are lazy gits are tiresome.

See comments like this actually just make me feel like people have chips on their shoulder about the world being snobby and looking down on them.
I've not seen anyone with a different preferred holiday on this thread start the conspiracy nonsense of 'but everyone looks down on us'.

I don't think I've ever thought somebody who doesn't get my style of holiday is looking down on me. They just have different views of what makes a good holiday.

Ravenblack · 28/05/2017 22:36

People are also the same about what tv programmes you watch, what books you read, what films you watch, what food you eat, where you buy your clothes, and what music you listen to.

Judgy snobs.

Original poster
3DStanley · 28/05/2017 22:37

Never had anyone say this to me, seems rude. We go on lots of holidays, just back today from Menorca in fact.

I love Menorca, it's beautiful.

OP posts:
SunnyCoco · 28/05/2017 22:40

I say "that's alright, because you're not invited!" Smile

biggesttwuntinhistory · 28/05/2017 22:40

I'm not buying the 'oh i could never do that' as a dig theory - all that other stuff is conjecture. It must be exhausting double thinking what people say all the time. just chill out, enjoy your holiday and take their statement at face value - they havent said you shouldnt, that you are bad. they just said they couldnt. without comment on whether it was a good or bad thing. IF they went on to SAY 'you must be stupid and inferior to me to want to do such a thing' then yeah, you have a point.

NonStopDisco · 28/05/2017 22:41

I was told by an aquaintance that hadn't ventured out of his home city that I'd done my honeymoon "wrong", because I hadn't been to see x,y or z. It was meant to be a relaxing break, full of rest after the stress of the year, it wasn't supposed to be a action packed adventure full of 6am starts, trekking up mountains etc!). It's just rude. what's wrong with saying "sounds like you had/ will have a lovely time"? You don't need to say how you'd feel about it, you're not going on the holiday!

Original poster
3DStanley · 28/05/2017 22:42

I'm not buying the 'oh i could never do that' as a dig theory - all that other stuff is conjecture.

Nah, facial expression and tone is a dead giveaway.

OP posts:
MaisyPops · 28/05/2017 22:42

oh I could never do that.' IS rude. It's passive aggressive, snarky, and judgy

Only if you've got a massive chip on your shoulder.

I could never go skiiing as I wouldn't enjoy it and would probably injure myself. I could never do some of the road tripping friends have done in South America. Much as I would love to, I could never go to Jerusalem and the Holy Land like some people from church at the moment because I'm too scared of the risks.

I say I could never do some of my friends jobs. They say they could never do mine.

Why a factual statement is suddenly some kind of elitist snob conspiracy is beyond me. I simply couldn't be arsed to go through my life thinking any difference of opinion from holidays to TV shows is a dig. It sounds so exhausting.

porridgetits · 28/05/2017 22:43

Jamdonut me too! sigh

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