Birth Plan... AIBU?

[BabyBlusher]

The Portland hands clients a little birth plan template to help check what things they may wish to have and I've gone though the list happily ticking off the important things (birth pool, what pain management tools I'll use, etc.) but they offer the option to decorate a little bit.

I really don't want to go over the top like those Portland horror stories you hear about women demanding the whole room be redecorated with their furniture from home, but I would like to make it feel less medical.

I was hoping the hospital would be fine with LED tea lights, fresh bunches of roses, peonies and other flowers. My partner is happy to get flowers ready to help me feel more at home. I've gotten some backlash from friends saying it's stupid. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones but this really seemed insulting, and no matter how I defended myself they just kept saying how stupid and useless it would all be. I really wanted them there once the baby is born but now I'm thinking twice. I know if they say something it'll upset me on a really special and wonderful day. Is it me? Should I just invite them anyway? Should I scrap the whole decorating plan so they won't say anything when they do come?

I have never heard of anyone including room decorating as part of their birth plan.

Most people tend to focus on the safe arrival of the baby.

You genuinely won't care. Neither will the baby. But flowers are seen as an infection risk on NHS wards I think.

I gave birth in an NHS hospital. I didn't take flowers but I did take fairy lights, soft furnishings and music! They may have sniggered behind my back but I was too busy giving birth to care

I really wouldn't be bothering with the decorating thing

I have never heard of anyone including room decorating as part of their birth plan.

Most people tend to focus on the safe arrival of the baby

I found that creating a soothing environment kept me calm and that probably helped the safe arrival of my baby..

Are you sure they will allow flowers in a delivery room because there would be a chance of them getting in the way if they need to set up drips and do any monitoring etc. I would wait for those until after the birth if you have to stay in for any prolonged time.

The LED candles are a nice thing to have though although when I went through the night during one of my labours there were side lamps that could be dimmed quite low to allow a muted atmosphere.

Do whatever you like. If you feel some tealights and flowers wil help you relax/feel at home/happy then do it! You clearly have paid for it so use it!

I didn't give a hoot about decor 😂😂

Are you going to the Portland or a private hospital? Or are you expecting the nhs to provide this?

I had flowers, afternoon tea, personalised baby cot at the hospital and all sorts when I gave birth. Your friends are right I didn't need it and maybe it was stupid but by god i liked it

Have whatever you want ( assuming your not expecting the nhs to provide it) and ignore your fiends

I have never heard of anything like this before.

I think from an atmosphere you should aim for calming and easy to pack away afterwards.

Multiple flowers is going to be a ball ache when your lugging the car seat, baby stuff and your shredded vagina down to the car.

Making yourself comfortable in the space is an important path of hypnobirthing. Do whatever makes you feel positive. You might want to consider options for low lighting, comforting scents (perhaps on a handkerchief?), a way to play music and covering things like clocks and monitors. Who cares what everyone else thinks- if it's doing no harm and may help I'd say go for it!

You don't have to lug anything at the Portland, there is a concierge and room service etc. They will take your things to the car.

If I was paying for the Portland I'd make sure I got my money's worth. I'd probably ask for caviar and a mariachi band. As others have said, flowers might be an infection risk, but it's not really silly to want dim lighting to help you feel relaxed.

🙄

Oh. Well then order the lobster and fill the room to the brim with roses.

It's your birth. Notwithstanding any health and safety issues, do what you want.

Fairy lights are fine - we have them in the NHS hospital I work at. Flowers? Nope. Infection risk. As a side note if there were flowers in a labour room I'd be streaming and sneezing as I have dreadful hayfever. Surely no one wants a midwife distracted by rampant hayfever.

If you're insistent on flowers you'll also need to be insistent on a midwife and Drs who don't have hayfever, allergies etc.

How about aromatherapy? That's really lovely in labour and much less likely to send your birth attendants into a sneezing fit.

This sounds familiar. Does the Portland make you carry your own bags OP?

Well, that's not what I was expecting to read.
If it matters to you and the place you're delivering in is happy to indulge you, go ahead.

If you want to give birth in a home environment then have you considered a home birth?

The Portland? Isn't that the posh place? I can't imagine for a second it will look as medical as you expect!

Does make you sound like Beyonce with backstage demands. I'd be gently teasing you about this if you were my friend I'm afraid

Mind you they may come in handy to thwack over your dps head!

Have whatever the fuck you want at your own birth and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.

Oh no, the thought of heavily perfumed flowers- yuck.

I have to say I barely noticed the 'environment' in labour. A bit like how you insist you will wear a nightie for decency and then strip off totally an hour in

When the midwife asked me did I have a birth plan I said it was to push the baby out as quickly and safely as possible. She said that it was the best birthplan she'd ever heard.