Birth Plan... AIBU?

[BabyBlusher]

The Portland hands clients a little birth plan template to help check what things they may wish to have and I've gone though the list happily ticking off the important things (birth pool, what pain management tools I'll use, etc.) but they offer the option to decorate a little bit.

I really don't want to go over the top like those Portland horror stories you hear about women demanding the whole room be redecorated with their furniture from home, but I would like to make it feel less medical.

I was hoping the hospital would be fine with LED tea lights, fresh bunches of roses, peonies and other flowers. My partner is happy to get flowers ready to help me feel more at home. I've gotten some backlash from friends saying it's stupid. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones but this really seemed insulting, and no matter how I defended myself they just kept saying how stupid and useless it would all be. I really wanted them there once the baby is born but now I'm thinking twice. I know if they say something it'll upset me on a really special and wonderful day. Is it me? Should I just invite them anyway? Should I scrap the whole decorating plan so they won't say anything when they do come?

It's not stupid. They're just ignorant.

Humans usually give birth best in a space that is dimly lit, private, warm and quiet. Having some home comforts such as your own familiar calm music, pillow and throw will help your natural physiology.

Having come across someone who thought real ones were a good idea.

I've had various parents over the years turn up on the wards with lit cake candles etc. Not the best idea.

If the Portland hospital are happy for you to have flowers, then choose whatever you like. Who cares what your less than lovely friends think?

OP it is fasionable to sneer at birth plans on MN and to say you won't care if the England rugby team watches you give birth.

Weirdly, it is always the England rugby team. Never the French Olympic pentathlon team or the Ukrainian gymnastics squad.

Anyhow, this obviously ignores the fact that most women care deeply who and what is around them, hence endless threads about nightmare MiLs wanting to be at the birth, postnatal wards etc.

Do what makes you feel better - BUT bear in mind you make feel quite sick in labour and not want strong scents around.

Perhaps import the flowers from your new home in the Cotswolds, OP, and ask the village ladies to do the arrangements? You could make a donation to the church from the money you're saving on Deliveroo whilst you're in the Portland? Just an idea

Your birth, your choice, as long as it's safe!

When you leave, chuck £600 in the tip jar.

WellErr

I think it's really bizarre to decorate the room.

Have a homebirth if you want it to feel homely?

I couldn't have given a shit less what the room looked like with any of my births, and afterwards you're so enamoured with the baby that you still won't give a rats.

Can you not just hire a few buddhist monks to sit chanting quietly in the corner? Much easier to just send them home than have to deal with half a florist shop.

This cant be real. I didnt do a birth plan as anything could happen. I dont think its a thing anymore. Flowers, fairy lights...may as well get the unicorn in too!

Will they let your Deliveroos in?

Skip the peonies, macarons add a beautiful ambience to any hospital room

Sod flowers.
Gimme the Pethadine.

Why give birth? Just get deliveroo to deliver the baby for you.

I think I'd rather have the England rugby team than a Deliveroo driver....

Sensible answer to is have some flowers, but not highly scented ones as your senses can go a bit weird in labour. Or have them on standby to be brought in post-natally

'no plan survives first contact with the enemy'

hmm, well disagree that the environment can't be important, I was quite put out by the orange and purple colour scheme in the hospital where I gave birth to DS1, and also the fact that I had a windowless delivery suite in the basement.

How are you going to get to the Portland (which don't offer the package you have referenced) from the Cotswolds, it'll take a while and won't be easy when you're in Labour.

AllPowerful

From what I can glean they have bought somewhere in the Cotswolds (near Dyson HQ and Highgrove doncha know) but are still residing in London at the moment and enjoying take aways.

Dawndonnaagain

We have a place in London very close to the hospital, so for the months either side of my due date we will come back to London. We have a nursery in each house so we can move from house to house with the baby.

Oh stop bloody showing off. Your friends are no doubt being snippy because they couldn't afford the bloody Portland, as can but a tiny fraction of the population. Your birth, your money, have bloody flowers if you want them, have the garden brought up to your room like bloody Henriette in Versailles if they'll do it for you, but don't use your dithering over it as a thinly veiled excuse to make sure EVERYBODY (even all the strangers on Mumsnet) knows that you are having a luxury birth experience. It is humblebrag of the first order.

I vomited out ds1's head. Glamorous it was not and any fragranced flowers would have gone straight out of the window.

Make yourself comfortable with pillows and your own clothing. Your own choice of music and magazines. Then go with the flow and do not feel the need to stage manage your birth in the manner of Pippa's wedding.

The midwives will help you make the right choices for you on the day. Don't overthink it.