To be annoyed with DH re him watching TV constantly at weekends?

[ChocolateDigestiveAddict]

DH watches TV constantly at weekends and when he's not at work, with minimal interaction with the DCs and I.

He'll either watch sports or box sets and its driving me crazy! No one else can ever watch anything in the living room. If I pull him up on it he stops watching for a bit then slinks off inside again to watch crap TV. We were in the garden with the DC just now and unnoticed he'd disappeared and he was sitting inside watching an episode from a box set, just assuming I'd look after the DC.

He never wants to do anything at weekends such as go out with us or play with the DC, he says he wants to relax.

DC are 7 and 5. And we both work full time running our own businesses.

The watching TV wouldn't bother me but the assumption that you are happy to watch the kids without equal opportunity to relax would really piss me off. Send the kids inside to make loads of noise and then turn the TV off and tell him its his turn to watch the kids whilst you go and "relax".

Cut the plug off the TV, take the batteries out of the remote

That would really annoy me. Weekends are for doing stuff together as a family. Well, they are in our world anyway. Evenings are for adult time and watching box sets etc.

Is there a chance he's depressed? That doesn't sound normal

I don't think he's depressed as he's fine when he wants to go out with his mates or do his hobbies. And in any case when he's been a bit down in the past he's said he'd never ever see a GP about depression as it doesn't exist!

If I said to him it was my turn to relax he would just sit near the kids watching tv on his phone, ignoring any requests for drinks or to do anything with them.

I don care how much tv dh watches, his an adult. So that wouldn't bother me

My issue would be the fact you say he doesn't want to do anything with the dc, I can't understand working parents that don't want to spend time with the dc when they are home

Hide the remote

I don't think it's the TV watching as such that bothers me, more the fact he fucks off all the time, disengages and won't parent the kids or spend any time with me.

My DH is the same. I hate weekend as I'm the only one concerned about what the kids do. Arranging a family day out on one weekend day is what I'm planning to do now the weather is better. Today he is at the pub watching football but we have something to do tomorrow which will involve no TV or child ignoring.

He needs reminding that just because he works doesn't mean he gets the week ends off. Parenting is 24/7 regardless.

Take the batteries out of the remote.

Then you fake a headache and go have a long bath and leave him with the dc til after their bedtime. .

He's pissing me off this morning already! Youngest DC woke up at 7am but DH just laid in bed and didn't make any effort to get up, so I got up with him as per usual and now DH is in bed watching his second or maybe third episode of his latest box set! I just went into the bedroom to get dressed and he was huffing and puffing because I was making noise and he was watching TV! Going to take the kids out for the day and he can sit at home on his own watching his crappy shit.

YANBU. I think that it is a bit unusual and it would severely piss me off. I'd have bribed youngest DC to go jump on the bed or something similar. Toy drum set or trumpet?

Has he always been quite lazy?

Sounds like a lazy arse and I wouldn't put up with it. He is unhealthily obsessed with escaping the real world.

Sounds a bit selfish. However a 5 year old and 7 year old can get their own drinks, surely? They don't need constant playing with, clear research shows leaving children to become bored and develop their own amusement is a good thing. However, constant to gazing is poor role modelling and it does rather dump on you at weekends and after school. I think you probably need to renegotiate the degree of participation and include some things that need both of you - cycling, swimming, etc. Maybe plan weekend activities around what he likes - so a rugby match and meal out or the local putting green to practice his golf. Get him to teach the children about what he likes.
Then book some essential things for yourself when he can have children. When do you get your hair cut or go to dentist? Start him off covering those sort of things until he is more confident.

I don't see why I should have to pander to him like a child, Crumbs.

The kids are self sufficient and independent but it's still not nice having someone glued to the TV constantly!

What happens if you go out for the day?

If I go out for the day he sits on the sofa watching stuff and let's the kids raid the cupboards for junk instead of giving them meals.

I'd cut the plug off the tv

He is avoiding interacting with you and the dc, I assume he hasn't always been like this.

This is more than he is a selfish git that is watching tv he is using it as an excuse.

Sit down and start discussions on what in the relationship is going wrong because as much as you may have done nothing wrong as such he doesn't want to spend time with you.

There was a time I avoided interacting with DH it lasted a few months. There were issues in our marriage needless to say it went as far as me visiting a divorce lawyer, we actually seperated for a while. Moving on after a few months and after many difficult discussions its being rebuilt. We did have some monumental things happen to us over the proceeding years.

Are there bigger problems afoot? It sounds like he's immersing himself to not have to engage with you

Sounds like he has literally no interest in his family or in family life.

Hide the Sky card if you have one. Worked for me when our kids would sit glued to it

He's always been pretty selfish and put himself first. The selfishness has just ramped up a notch in past few years. He assumes I will do everything.

What happens if you suggest going out for the day?

Watching TV wouldn't bother me.
The frequency of it along with the assumption you'll just run the house and sorry the kids out would piss me off.
What a selfish git!

You both work. He doesn't get to have a free weekend of me time because he's been working.

I'd have a big sit down. Talk it out and if it doesn't change I'd consider leaving. You can manage with the kids on your own anyway. It's best they don't see that kind of lazy behaviour as a model for future relationships.