To be annoyed with DH re him watching TV constantly at weekends?

[ChocolateDigestiveAddict]

DH watches TV constantly at weekends and when he's not at work, with minimal interaction with the DCs and I.

He'll either watch sports or box sets and its driving me crazy! No one else can ever watch anything in the living room. If I pull him up on it he stops watching for a bit then slinks off inside again to watch crap TV. We were in the garden with the DC just now and unnoticed he'd disappeared and he was sitting inside watching an episode from a box set, just assuming I'd look after the DC.

He never wants to do anything at weekends such as go out with us or play with the DC, he says he wants to relax.

DC are 7 and 5. And we both work full time running our own businesses.

He's opted out.

He can, so he does. He has zero interest in you or the kids.

In fairness to him, he couldn't be clearer unless he held up a banner with I DON'T GIVE A FUCK written on it.

And this is your future. This is the next 10 years.

What he is banking on is you getting so pissed off that you just take the kids out for the day! Total win!

Meanwhile he doesn't have to do anything or change anything about his comfortable life. Yay!

The question is....when are you going to realise this isn't temporary?

Why are you not going POSTAL?

if it were me, I'd be going ballistic at him. And saying "Since it appears I'm a single parent, then I can be permanently. And that means you get to be a single parent too. Good luck with that".

Tell him to take his fucking telly and go and live somewhere else.

It's much nicer being single and living in a house where you don't live in a constant state of resentment. And you could have the tv control.

God id probably leave him, sounds awful.

You have course don't have to pander to him but in a relationship there has to be give and take. You say you go out for the day so assumably he does do childcare sometimes- even if not the way you want. I guess on the other foot, is why should he pander to you? The answer of course is about wanting a shared life and a willingness to compromise. To be honest you don't sound like you are wanting that now; you sound resentful and angry (possibly not unreasonably but we only have one side of the story). Is doing things he enjoys pandering or is it making a relationship work?

Your DH has totally disengaged from family and married life from your description, how does the house/childcare run during the week? Are the box sets he's watching age appropriate to be on around the children?
I'm also wondering how the garden DIY gets done and who cooks at weekends and tidies up around the house, it's unfair if it's all down to you.
This situation reminds me of my second fuckwit husband I was constantly under pressure to earn more money to pay off his debts, I did everything at home and had a moment of epiphany when my four year old telephoned me at work crying because his baby sister (then 1) was hungry and he didn't know what to give her to eat. His father was asleep in bed at 12:30pm and his older step siblings were all out. It absolutely broke my heart - his problem wasn't TV but computer games and TV. I took the back off the TV and removed a couple of bits and took the mother board out of the PC, gave up my second job and kicked him out when he still didn't step up. I had been living the life of a single parent within a marriage and was much better off without him, so we're the children. Interestingly he didn't believe in depression either, is your DH lazy at work too?
You need to talk - disable the TV, drop his phone in a pint of beer and try and engage with him, if he doesn't want family life you have some soul searching to do.
I feel sad for your DC he is setting an appalling example to them, enjoy your day out and start switching the TV off when something not suitable for the DC is on, even enjoying a family movie together would be better than the current situation.

YANBU - I can't stand televisions being on constantly. Personally I would pick a time when he is out and remove the TV altogether.

What Elspeth said
He's living as if the rest of you aren't there
He should move out
He's not interested in family life.

Crumbs, wanting him to do things and engage with his kids occasionally is hardly wanting him to pander to me! And I hardly ever go out for the day as he won't look after the kids properly! I don't think I should be happy about him doing what he wants all the time, fuck the rest of us, just to 'make the relationship work'

And yes I am resentful! And understandably so judging by the majority of replies!