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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want my daughter being given an ugly nickname?

109 replies

mynotsoperfectlife · 27/05/2017 10:24

The (lovely) nursery staff have chopped my daughters name in half, resulting in a nickname that is a sound rather than a name.

I know they are using it affectionately and they really are lovely people but I just don't like the nickname and I don't really want it sticking.

Would it be unreasonable to ask them to call her by her name, and how can I do it nicely?

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 27/05/2017 10:25

Is it s common nickname for the full name?

HunterHearstHelmsley · 27/05/2017 10:25

Just ask them to call her by her full name?

Brogadoccio · 27/05/2017 10:27

Next time you hear it"Don't do that!, it might stick! can't have that!" with a smile staple gunned to your face

NoCapes · 27/05/2017 10:31

Brog that would make the app look very very odd indeed

Just say 'oh we don't really do nicknames, can you call her Instead, thanks' big smile

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 27/05/2017 10:31

Just say, "please can you call her Amy not Ay"

Original poster

mynotsoperfectlife · 27/05/2017 10:32

That's probably the best way, NoCapes.

I just don't want to sound like an arse!

OP posts:

AmysTiara · 27/05/2017 10:34

Names often get shortened. I'd just ignore it.

isthistoonosy · 27/05/2017 10:35

I've just told staff that we don't use nick names, they were fine about it.

MiladyThesaurus · 27/05/2017 10:37

It might be worth trying to get over any strong feelings about nicknames at this point. You might find all her friends call her it - or something you like even less - when she gets to school (even if the nursery staff ca her by her full name). She might even adopt it as her name with a quirky spelling.

Original poster

mynotsoperfectlife · 27/05/2017 10:39

Yes, I know, but it's different at this age when they are still so young - I just don't like hearing the name chopped off!

OP posts:

MrsGotobed · 27/05/2017 10:41

Even if if you pull them up on it you'll find someone else will abbreviate her name at some other point. To some extent you just have to not let it bother you.

I thought DD's name wouldn't be shortened - although it is 2 syllables the abbreviated version doesn't make sense IYSWIM and I've never heard it shortened before but at school her friends shortened it for a while.

harderandharder2breathe · 27/05/2017 10:42

Just ask them to please call her by her full name.

They're not doing it deliberately to annoy you.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 27/05/2017 10:42

Just tell them that you don't like nicknames, and you'd like them to keep using her full name please. If it's not that long (and it can't be, from what you've said) then it's not going to be that hard for them to use the whole name.

My DS1 has a 4 syllable first name, but most people at preschool and school use his full name rather than the 2 syllable shortened version that we mostly use at home.
DS2 has a long 3 syllable name, also with a 2 syllable short version - but he gets VERY humpy if anyone tries to call him his full name!!

Groovee · 27/05/2017 10:42

I work in nursery and we had a new member of staff mispronouncing a name and not listening when staff corrected her. It did take mum telling her that she was mispronouncing her daughter's name for her to listen.

We did have a child whose step dad filled in the form and in known as put his nickname for her. It took mum a lot of work to get the nursery teacher to change it.

angelikacpickles · 27/05/2017 10:44

I think it's different when friends do it if the child is happy about it - you just have to go with it then. With nursery staff, I think it's more reasonable to ask them to stop.

Brogadoccio · 27/05/2017 10:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Topseyt · 27/05/2017 10:47

We always call each other by nicknames in this family, though it is up to you if you don't want to allow it.

Just tell nursery staff that at this stage in her life you prefer her proper name to be used.

It often isn't something you can fully control though. My parents tried with both my younger sister and I throughout our childhoods. It didn't work.

I have personally never bothered to try and stop it. My 14 year old DD3 today addressed her 22 year old older sister as Buttface!! Even that was probably toned down because she knew I would see it. They are very close and banter to each other like that all the time.

Sorry, I will cease derailing the thread now.

CowParsleyNettle · 27/05/2017 10:47

We deliberately gave DS a name that couldn't be shortened.

But have called him by a varying number of nicknames since birth 😂

We love a good nickname in our family, even the dog answers to his.

NoCapes · 27/05/2017 10:48

Brog what are you on about?!
Yes English is my first language, autocorrect changed OP to app - no idea what the rest of your post means

Guitargirl · 27/05/2017 10:49

'Is English your first language'

MN passive aggression out in force I see.

Dowser · 27/05/2017 10:52

You wouldn't think you could shorten Ian could you but yes my mil managed.
E

😮

ThouShallNotPass · 27/05/2017 10:53

I'd ask them politely to stop calling her by a nickname. It's really hard to get over our "Britishness" and come out with it but if you do it with a smile then its easier. They won't have an issue with it.

I kind of have the opposite problem. I can't help but call DS "Mister XXXXX" or add "ey" to his name. (I.e. Markey instead of Mark or Paulie instead of Paul) and now everyone's starting doing it. Oops. It's pretty weird listening to his little nursery mates saying "Mister 'Mark', come and play with the cars!"

Original poster

mynotsoperfectlife · 27/05/2017 10:54

My son is now known as a shortened version of his first name but he's that bit older. What sounds okay for an older child sounds strange for a toddler.

DDs name is shortened to just a sound and it sounds harsh and a bit ugly on its own!

OP posts:

Topseyt · 27/05/2017 10:54

CowParsley, our dogs too have dozens of nicknames and respond to all of them.

coldcanary · 27/05/2017 10:55

Just tell them, they won't mind!
We gave DS a name that couldn't be shortened... it regularly gets lengthened instead 🙄 (and his nickname annoys me but he likes it so I keep quiet).

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