To not want my daughter being given an ugly nickname?

[mynotsoperfectlife]

The (lovely) nursery staff have chopped my daughters name in half, resulting in a nickname that is a sound rather than a name.

I know they are using it affectionately and they really are lovely people but I just don't like the nickname and I don't really want it sticking.

Would it be unreasonable to ask them to call her by her name, and how can I do it nicely?

[creepysleepy]

Sorry - just did more scrolling.

Yes - I'd have a quick word with staff - just say politely but yes I would.

I know a couple of Benjamins. Their mums insist they're not Ben. Fine by me but as they get older it shifts into what they child wants. As a 2yo though - you get to choose.

[zukiecat]

I would just ask the nursery not to shorten your DDs name, tell them you don't use nicknames

My first name is one that can be shortened to a couple of different versions, and I hate them! My name is my full name and I always politely tell people not to shorten it in any way if they try

My two DDs are the same, they hate their names being shortened, although one has a name that can't really be shortened to anything

Different if the child themselves asks to be called by a nickname, otherwise I think it's really bad mannered if you like to be called by your full name, but people think otherwise

[gillybeanz]

People will always shorten names even the shortest.
I knew a Zoe once who honestly had their name shortened to z by the kids at school.
Once they start school you stand no chance and the child actually prefers the shortened version.

[dudsville]

You can't control other people. They aren't your staff.

[user1489675144]

If you ask staff they would listen to your wishes, however, the children when your child starts school will be a different matter. Some nicknames from school stick into adulthood no matter what you say.

Hopefully the nicknames/shortened versions are nice.

[Goingtobeawesome]

It's not inevitable that you'll have to concede to your child being called something else. I've always insisted on my full name. I don't like the sound of the shortening and no one calls me it more than once.

With my children only one has a name that could be shortened and he is in school as their is another child with the same name. When the school ring I have no idea who they are talking about for a moment. No one in the family would ever shorten it.

[EwanWhosearmy]

You can't control other people. They aren't your staff.

You can when it's nursery. They are.

[VioletHornswaggle]

It's annoying when nursery or teaching staff do this. It happened with my daughter in Reception but I let it slide and the following year she was back to being called her proper name. However, I did work in a school once where a new girl was called Harriet and she preferred Hattie. It actually made her look so much happier when someone called her Hattie but the Headteacher wouldn't allow us to call Her by her own preferred name just in case her parents didn't like it which I thought was quite unfair on the child. My name is long with lots of derivatives a bit like Christina. My parents nicknamed it straight from birth to something I believed to be too childish like Teeny. So at school I asked to be called a more grown up derivative like Christy. It stuck and it's now what my parents call, me. Only my sister and grandmother cannot call me what I like to be called!

[bandito]

One of my daughter's friends called me one evening, years ago when they were both about 10 to ask that DD did not use an 'ugly' nickname for her child (shortened to first syllable) but instead used a nicer one that they preferred to hear (last syllable with 'ie' on the end). Our daughters were quite good friends but I never saw her mother in the same way after that, although she was a nice person. I was stunned and thought it was unbelievably precious - who cares what they are calling each other when they are playing out? This may have something to do with my name being so common, a significant minority of my friends are called the same thing and I've never given it a second thought.

[Ratatatouille]

Ewan no, they aren't. You may pay for the nursery's service but the nursery staff are exactly that - the staff of the nursery. If you don't like the way they do things then you are free to remove your child of course, but they are not your staff to order around.

[LizzieMacQueen]

OP, can your daughter pronounce her full 3 syllable name? Perhaps nursery staff are just shortening it to something the child can say.

[TheAntiBoop]

What's wrong with Lou as a nickname? It's not uncommon and I've known a lot of Louise's who have it as well as men going by it.

My ds has a French name which we shorten to the French nickname - in English that is more commonly a girls name. It's an affectionate nickname used at home and we use his full name most of the time.

So to me there is a difference between an affectionate nickname (which could be honey or bear as well as a shortening) and a nickname that replaces the name entirely

[mynotsoperfectlife]

Yes, she can :)

[Wishspex]

Ewan Errm, no you can't control them and they're not 'your' staff. Get over yourself.

[TheMysteriousJackelope]

I would tell them that you would like your DD called by her full name and that it will be up to her to choose her nickname when she is older. It sounds like she is too young to choose at the moment.

I dislike it when people arbitrarily decide on how they are going to shorten my name or my DD's names. Common courtesy is that you address people by their preferred name. Most people would be irritated if they introduced themselves as 'Elizabeth' and the person immediately started calling them 'Lib Lib' or 'El'. It's just rude.

[Guitargirl]

They are absolutely not your staff Ewan. You are not their employer - do you sort out their tax/pension/National Insurance?

[paddypants13]

I've got a son with a very easily shortened name think Stephen/ Steve. I would be annoyed if others shortened it whilst he's still so small (we always use his full name) but I accept that he will inevitably become Steve.

YANBU whilst your dd is so young op.

[Justmadeperfectflapjacks]

Annie I added that dd prefers her full name. .

[OriginalArchitect]

Whilst most people call DD by a nickname totally unrelated to her actual name including school friends and she likes it so it doesn't bother me (she enjoys telling people the story of how she got it), I did get quite cross when nursery taught DS to spell a shortened version of his name, which had the wrong letters in - thinks Charles being shortened to Charlie I don't mind his name being shortened, he corrects people as to his FULL name (including middle one) when he feels like it but for goodness sake help him write it properly!

I would speak to nursery staff and ask them to use your DD's correct name.

[Cornishmumofone]

I have a two syllable name that some people 'shorten' to another two syllable name. My family have always called me my full name. When I started primary school, the teacher told my mother that I was disobedient. My mum questioned this as she thought it was out of character. I turned out that the teacher had been using the nickname and I hadn't responded as I didn't know they were talking to me. I've stayed using my full name and it's not been a problem correcting people.

[HSMMaCM]

I asked about a child having his name shortened and his mum said no, so we never did. It's fine to ask them to call her by her name and it would then be rude of them not to.

[Jux]

When I was a child, my name was always shortened to something which sounded like a word which was an unsult to a particular community. I didn't even think of it, until I was 15 and one of my brother's (new) friends said "you can't call her that, don't be so horrible, poor girl". It was first time any of us had equated the two (different spellings). My family and friends continued to call me by my nickname and I am happy for them to do so. Rather sad dh never took it up.

[Brogadoccio]

Um... nocapes, i said the same as everybody else and you responded that if op said that people would think she was weird. Then you agreed with somebody who had said the same. I had used a colloquial expression mind you, so your confused face and your differentiation between two such similar responses made me wonder if you had understood correctly. Then you reported my post and somebody called me passive aggressive!!
Ffs, you couldnt anticipate this.

You should hold back on the confused faces because whoever presses report first 'wins' but on a real level, the poster who responds to another poster's innoccuous comment with a confused face is the genuinely passive aggressive poster. Im not passive. Im direct. And this deletion was ridiculous.

[MeredithShepherd]

I named my ds Leo because I hate people shortening names and using nicknames. Well I did before I had him anyway, he's known more by Leonardo or Leelo than his proper name!