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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cancel my driving test?

123 replies

tocancelornot · 25/05/2017 21:27

I passed my theory June 2015, since then I've taken well over 35 lessons and I have failed 3 driving tests.

I have a test booked for next Wednesday, and today is the final day I can cancel it. I don't feel ready for it, and I'm feeling so anxious that I'm going to fail again. I'd rather not waste the £100+ and redo the theory test which is only £23 and it will give me another 2 years to pass.

I just don't know what to do...cancel or not?

OP posts:
Empireoftheclouds · 25/05/2017 22:13

Phone another instructor in the morning and get out for a few lessons before the test, don't cancel it through. You sound so defeated, both with the test and with not changing instructor (I don't quite folllow the 'it was too late to change' thing, you can change anytime) do you actually not want to drive?

Original poster
tocancelornot · 25/05/2017 22:16

Empireoftheclouds i dont think that will be possible as the test is on Wednesday

Believe me i wish i changed instructors ages ago, i think i would have felt more confident and ready to pass
I do want to drive and i think i can drive, i just lack confidence and feel i havent learnt as much as i should have

OP posts:
Mylittlestsunshine · 25/05/2017 22:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cluelessjane · 25/05/2017 22:19

I stopped telling people about my tests as well, on my final one I pretended to go to college as normal, hid round the corner waiting for my instructor to pick me up and then surprised them when I got home!

The remedy may have just been a psychological thing but definitely made a difference to my nerves

Original poster
tocancelornot · 25/05/2017 22:20

Mylittlestsunshine i dont have anxeity about anything else...but when i think about this driving test, i just have a feeling im going to fail..

OP posts:
Original poster
tocancelornot · 25/05/2017 22:21

cluelessjane i too havent told anyone. i cant bear to see their faces showing pity when i say i failed (again)

OP posts:
Blumkin · 25/05/2017 22:22

I'd still do the test, you have nothing to lose.

If you take the test and fail then actually nothing negative will happen (you start the test without a full licence and you end the test with no license = no change, its not like you fail and now have to face awful consequences; life will go on exactly the same as before, no difference at all), but you MAYBE could pass the test in which case you'll get your licence.

So take the test and fail = no change in your life, nothing negative will happen, life goes on exactly the same as before the test. But don't take the test = no chance of getting a licence at all till you book in for your next one.

Original poster
tocancelornot · 25/05/2017 22:24

Blumkin even though i know im not ready for it all? or is it better to cancel, redo theory which will give me a further 2 years to pass?

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 25/05/2017 22:28

Everyone but everyone feels nervous before a driving test. But if you are so nervous you are convinced you will fail, then just cancel, get your money back now and start again from scratch. No harm in admitting you need more and better teaching.

Do you know about the Sunk Cost Fallacy? You're considering taking the test because you think you should, because you've paid for it. But if you fail through under confidence and lack of preparation, that's good money after bad.

Cancel. New instructor. £23 theory test - take the pressure off yourself so you can believe you can do it. Tell new instructors you're looking for 2 lessons per week. You'll get there!

Original poster
tocancelornot · 25/05/2017 22:30

NoSquirrels i have never heard of that before...but i agree thats what i feel to an extent. i just feel im doomed to fail the test before even going to it; because i dont feel ready or confident for it.

taking more lessons with a new instructor may do the trick!

OP posts:
CaulkheadUpNorf · 25/05/2017 22:30

Why can't you do it, and if you do fail then do a new theory test? I've rtft but may have missed something

Original poster
tocancelornot · 25/05/2017 22:32

CaulkheadUpNorf will be wasting over £100! and its my 4th test

OP posts:
ALemonyPea · 25/05/2017 22:33

All the best drivers pass 4th time round.

If you don't feel ready, then cancel it, rebook and get a different instructor.

NoSquirrels · 25/05/2017 22:35

OP cancels now tonight = £100 refund, but will need to pay £25 for new theory test. £75 in hand.

OP takes test. May pass - £100 well spent. May fail - £100 lost + £25 new theory test = £125 down.

Original poster
tocancelornot · 25/05/2017 22:35

ALemonyPea i really hope so!

OP posts:
KoolKoala07 · 25/05/2017 22:39

I passed 4th time! Was the worst one aswell.

Original poster
tocancelornot · 25/05/2017 22:41

KoolKoala07 thats great ,well done for not giving up!

OP posts:
HundredMilesAnHour · 25/05/2017 22:42

You seem to have got yourself into a negative thinking rut and this isn't doing you any favours, especially if you're also anxious. You seem quite passive? Is that your normal personality or is it just learning to drive that affects you this way?

What I mean by that is that you seem to have readily accepted a driving instructor who is only available at weekends and who couldn't make time for a final lesson before your latest test. I would have started ringing round driving schools until I found someone who could fit me in at a time that worked for me. In your shoes right now, I'd been ringing round to find someone who could give me another lesson or two before next Wed. I certainly wouldn't be pulling out of my test. Grab the opportunity, build your confidence with a lesson or two with a different instructor and get down that test centre next Wed. It seems stupid to talk about buying a car whilst saying you want to cancel your driving test.

I may sound unsympathetic but you need to get a grip. If you keep saying you can't do manoeuvres and you're not ready, of course you'll fail. You're talking yourself into failing!! And giving yourself another 2 years is just a cop-out. 2 further f*ng years??! Seriously?!! You have 5 days still. People do intensive driving courses from scratch in less time than that and pass!

Tomorrow morning get on the phone, sort out some lessons and we'll look forward to your update next Wed that you've passed. You CAN do this.

Thegiantofillinois · 25/05/2017 22:46

Get your head sorted before you do it. I failed more times than anyone on this thread so far. Think the time it strikes in 1984. Iam loud and confident in real life, but tests sent me into pieces. My first test was the first thing I had ever failed and I never quite recovered.

I had beta blockers then, eventually, hypnotherapy. Don't let it g e t as bad as I did.

YerAWizardHarry · 25/05/2017 22:46

Are those 35 1hr lessons or 2hr lessons? I passed on my third test after a long break, I'd don't 45hrs of driving lessons before the gap and did another 30 odd hours before doing my test this time and passing

Original poster
tocancelornot · 25/05/2017 22:47

HundredMilesAnHour i dont think i am passive... i just feel negative about this test and cant get this feeling out.
my instructor used to be good at booking lessons, its only recently he has been busy during the week
the thing with the car is that it would have given me more opportunity to drive around and gain confidence
i just dont know what to do...

OP posts:
Original poster
tocancelornot · 25/05/2017 22:49

YerAWizardHarry lessosns are mainly 1.5 hours, i dont get to do 2 hours as much as i want. i think having regular lessons is better at building confidence

OP posts:
Original poster
tocancelornot · 25/05/2017 22:49

Thegiantofillinois thanks, another poster mentioned something similar, i will look into these

OP posts:
Thegiantofillinois · 25/05/2017 22:52

I just got myself in negative cycle: I have to pass, I'm going to fail, I've failed, but I have to pass... was fine in practice, but associated test with failure. Even when I passed, I assumed I'd failed!

Original poster
tocancelornot · 25/05/2017 22:57

Thegiantofillinois if i ever pass, i think i will feel the same!

OP posts: