I need a good old fashioned MN dressing down

[Givemeasterntalkingto]

I have a shameful tale to confess....
A prolonged flirtation with an extremely hot tradesman who had been working in my house. Husband is a good man who I love but always at work. Nothing physical has gone on, just lots of extremely flirtatious texting and lots of time spent sitting around chatting (instead of him working).

The job was finally finished last week and we both decided we needed to stop the texting. Bloody hard though, he's extremely hot, just my type totally. Dark, beardy and body like Becks in his heyday. Feel completely overtaken by carnal desire - so am not making good decisions really.

We've had no contact for 5 days (after speaking virtually every day either in person or by text) for 2 months, and I'm going stir crazy.
Obviously it's a "bad idea" to text him but I am weakening and need a right royal roasting on Planet Mumsnet. In my heart I know that I've been leading all of this and he's just been responding (he isn't married), which is making me feel very undeserving of my lovely husband and generally like a bit of a lowlife for letting it get so far.

[LiviaDrusillaAugusta]

It's odd that you would post and ask people to give you a flaming...

[SailAwaySailAwaySailAway]

By that I mean you could burst your bubnle by telling your husband.

[Givemeasterntalkingto]

Saucy wank bank duly stocked!

[SailAwaySailAwaySailAway]

Bubble
Ffs I give up.

[kaytee87]

Op get a grip, stop making excuses, pondering etc and delete his number. He's moved onto the next idiot that will fuel his ego. He probably has a gorgeous 23 yo gf and they're laughing about the middle aged woman that has the hots for him.
Don't embarrass yourself any further. Give your husband a hug tonight and think yourself lucky.

[StarHeartDiamond]

It's a crush, brought about by daily contact. "We begin by coveting those things we see every day." (Silence of the lambs).

You lived without him before he came along. You'll continue without him too.

Supposing for a minute you ditched your dh and threw yourself at the guy. I guarantee it wouldn't last and before long you did be renting somewhere in your own without either him or your dh. You'd look back on your life as it is now and think it was perfect, but by then you'd dh would have lost all trust in you and your family and friends would think you had behaved badly or very oddly no matter how nice they were about it to your face.

This time next year you will look back and cringe at how you were beginning to get into seriously deep water whilst this workman was just having flirty banter and will hardly remember you in a month (sorry but likely).

Delete his number, book yourself and your dh a weekend break, buy some new underwear and raid Ann summers or whatever it is that floats your boat, just make sure you get your boat floating with dh in it!

[Givemeasterntalkingto]

Livia how so?

I have some great friends but only one I can talk to about this, the others love DH and would feel the need to tell him. Friend I've spoken to about it is being quite firm on the WTF front but loves me too much to tell me I'm a completely A grade selfish twat.

[SoreenLoaf]

It was exciting; you have proved that you've still got it, you are attractive and desirable and you can still fizz like you used to at 21.
Yay!
Now, write a long journal article about it, turn it into a steamy novel, record that excitement feel to revisit when you're feeling downtrodden.
Have an indulgent wank (or two)
and bloody well delete his number

[Guiltypleasures001]

Life too short op, I'de Roger him silly for an afternoon and store up some nice new wank memory's 😱
for future use

That's probably not very helpful sorry

[Givemeasterntalkingto]

It's a bit of self flagellation all this which is in itself yet another selfish indulgence on my behalf, I'll admit.

I just need to hear all this. I can't tell you how much I need to hear it. I don't really disagree with much of what you're saying.

[Givemeasterntalkingto]

Soreen Loaf ....

[HattiesBackpack]

OP come on now, give your head a wobble!

You know what you have to do- and honestly I think you will feel relieved when you have.

Delete number.
Plan nice weekend with DH.

YOU can do this. YOU are in control. Now woman up and GET IT DONE!

[SoreenLoaf]

[voice of experience]

[LiviaDrusillaAugusta]

Because I don't get why someone would enjoy being flamed unless they 'enjoyed' this kind of thing ^^

[The80sweregreat]

I dont think your selfish, but this man has just pushed all the right buttons for you and your flattered. Dont we all want to be flattered - the fact he is fit and clearly looks after himself helps ( if he was chubby or balding or kept on using your loo, this wouldnt have happened ( i am not flaming men that dont look like David beckham, but the chances are you wouldnt have been that interested i would imagine) I guess that he goes home to his wife or girlfriend and has a good laugh about his 'conquests' up the pub with his mates! ( he really sounds the sort) best left alone i would say. But i can see why your flattered by the attention..

[LiviaDrusillaAugusta]

And yes self-flagellation is indulgent. Shag him, don't shag him, your moral compass is yours alone and actually none of our business

[bambisims]

I read it as 'man dressing gown' and wondered what wonder that was...little disappointed...

[SoreenLoaf]

[voice of experience]

[Givemeasterntalkingto]

I need one of those as well. A man dressing gown. If you see one let me know.

[Destinysdaughter]

There's a concept in AA about playing the tape forward ( ie, imagining what will happen if you take that first drink). In your case it's this:

Supposing for a minute you ditched your dh and threw yourself at the guy. I guarantee it wouldn't last and before long you did be renting somewhere in your own without either him or your dh. You'd look back on your life as it is now and think it was perfect, but by then you'd dh would have lost all trust in you and your family and friends would think you had behaved badly or very oddly no matter how nice they were about it to your face.

This time next year you will look back and cringe at how you were beginning to get into seriously deep water whilst this workman was just having flirty banter and will hardly remember you in a month (sorry but likely).

[Whatthefoxgoingon]

I clicked on this looking for a recommendation for a good old fashioned dressing gown.....

[Givemeasterntalkingto]

Livia ... trust me I am not enjoying this.

[Givemeasterntalkingto]

Destinys ... thanks that's useful.

[Patriciathestripper1]

So. Husband out working hard to make your home lovely and you are at home with a dishy builder??? Texting, flirting and generally fantasising?? I'm not jealous at all you shameless hussy

[Destinysdaughter]

Also, sounds like you're bored and unfulfilled, and maybe feeling a bit neglected. Is there anything practical you can do to reignite the spark with your DH?