I need a good old fashioned MN dressing down

[Givemeasterntalkingto]

I have a shameful tale to confess....
A prolonged flirtation with an extremely hot tradesman who had been working in my house. Husband is a good man who I love but always at work. Nothing physical has gone on, just lots of extremely flirtatious texting and lots of time spent sitting around chatting (instead of him working).

The job was finally finished last week and we both decided we needed to stop the texting. Bloody hard though, he's extremely hot, just my type totally. Dark, beardy and body like Becks in his heyday. Feel completely overtaken by carnal desire - so am not making good decisions really.

We've had no contact for 5 days (after speaking virtually every day either in person or by text) for 2 months, and I'm going stir crazy.
Obviously it's a "bad idea" to text him but I am weakening and need a right royal roasting on Planet Mumsnet. In my heart I know that I've been leading all of this and he's just been responding (he isn't married), which is making me feel very undeserving of my lovely husband and generally like a bit of a lowlife for letting it get so far.

[Givemeasterntalkingto]

And if it's so offensive you know what to do .. .gestures broadly towards the door in a very British way

[Givemeasterntalkingto]

So that's that ...

Stares out into the abyss

As you were Mumsnet

[optionalrationale]

Yes but it's still available to you on his ad in the Yellow Pages (or whatever the young people use these days with their world wide interwebs)..

All is not yet lost.. Perhaps you should call him back round because you're "not satisfied"

[lazycrazyhazy]

Well done OP. I had a ridiculous crush at about your age. I happened to be seeing a psychologist about an unrelated issue and mentioned it. She taught me a couple of things. If doing the 'wank' option make sure you think about someone / something else BEFORE you orgasm as this will otherwise increase the obsession. Secondly (and this worked so well for me) put a rubber band on your wrist. Every time you think of him ping it hard (so it hurts). The first day I had a red mark. If you keep doing it you will find you're pinging less each day. After a few weeks you'll think "what the hell?" and wonder what it was all about. Sorry I don't agree with tinge more fierce posts, if you don't act on this flirtation, and sort yourself out, there is no harm done. This was 20 years ago for me and I have never (even mentally) strayed. The elastic band technique is useful in life for any obsessive thoughts too.

[MatildaTheCat]

I've just read back through your posts but can't see the one where you say you've deleted his number. Please can you reference it? There have been dozens of others saying delete the number but each time you've seemingly answered some other point made.

If you have then well done but it's not entirely obvious to me, or others from rereading the thread.

[MissionItsPossible]

Matilda I didn't see it either and IMO

So that's that ...

Stares out into the abyss

As you were Mumsnet

Smacks as a final desperate attempt to keep the thread going

[HerOtherHalf]

I think the builder has had a lucky escape. You are clearly an amoral, attention seeking drama queen. God help your husband though, he's stuck with you.

Now, that's my opinion of you based purely on this thread. It doesn't mean that's who you are or what my opinion of you might be in other circumstances. Learn from this fucked up episode. Put the effort into your relationship, with the husband you love, to bring the zing back. Make him put the effort in as well.

[TheDowagerCuntess]

It was fun while it lasted.

It's over now.

Your dignity would be on the floor if you got in contact with him now, so you can't do that without looking ridiculous.

That's it. In the past. Back to DH.

And it wasn't obvious to me that you'd deleted the number either.

[ChildishGambino]

Are you actually feeling sorry for yourself? Genuine question.

You say you would be 'broken' if your husband did this to you. Can you actually picture how he would feel. Stay with that.

[ChildishGambino]

If he texts you again ignore.

[HattiesBackpack]

CANCEL THE CHEQUE!!

[ChildishGambino]

Lol Hattie

[happydays2017]

Make sure you permanently delete the deleted texts or they may come back and bite you on the arse

[optionalrationale]

Some people are very prudish and judgmental OP.... I say YOLO !!

[Chickenagain]

Oh OP grow up. FS

[bloodymaria]

Such drama! Gosh.

[liz70]

How about this, OP?

Oops, sorry, misread the question. I'll get me housecoat.

[peachgreen]

I can't imagine being okay living with this kind of secret in my marriage. Horrible.

[Teutonic]

Delete his number and stop feeding his ego!
Send a few flirty dirty texts to your husband instead.
As others have said, if it was your husband behaving like this, you would be devastated and probably be wondering if there was a future in your marriage.
Ask yourself, if this was my best friend telling me this, what would I be telling her to do? You would probably be telling her other same as we are telling you.
For the sake of your marriage, stop this nonsense now and get flirty dirty with your husband instead.