to report after school incident to police

[vickibee]

I went to collect my son from school yesterday (he is 10 and has HF ASD he is being supported in school with social difficulties), walking back to car a class mates Granddad stepped out of his vehicle and hurled abuse at me following a playtime incident between my DS and his GS. Gs had complained to him that my son had fell on him on school field and hurt his leg. He was stood about a foot away from me staring me right in the face and shouting at me. no swearing or threats but I felt intimidated. my Ds ran ahead and waited by our car 50 yards away. He said my sons behaviour was out of control and he demanded that I should keep him away from his GS. I was a disgrace for a parent if I allowed these behaviours etc. He was trying to block my way but I got through and my son and I went back to school to report to HT. She seemed very supportive and said she will look into matters today but should I report to police?

..and there is user proving my point.

What part of "it was actually a girl who fell on this boy" did you miss dearie. Read the fucking thread and educate yourself on invisible disabilities.

Reporting this whole thread to MNHQ. They need to go through and delete the stupid comments about the OP's son.

What was the abuse?

No swearing or threat. How did you get past if he 'didn't let you'?

Unpleasant but nothing the police could or should do.

My god, the ignorant ones are out in force today.

He has autism, its a disability. Educate yourselves before get shown up.

Oh and the OP has already spoken to the police.

Freddy I get what you are saying. It's perfectly OK to confront people, shout at them, block their path, berate them. All in good fun

Reading clearly isn't your strong point. I've never said it's acceptable. I've said it's not illegal/not a police matter

He is so high functioning that others can't tell he has autism and just think that he is naughty. He is seeing a communications officer via school (soon to start) and possible circle of friends intervention if all goes well. It is sad that so many people are ignorant about this sort of thing which I guess is the problem with the GP in the first place

I am not ignorant of that at all. But it is not a police matter. Disagreements, and harsh voices, are not issues for the police.

I did speak to a real police officer got his name, said it may be a Public order offence

I don't know why people are saying it's not a police matter...it obviously is if they logged it!

OP...I mentioned you "minimizing" DS behavour but I dont'think you're doing that...I think school are failing him. He obviously needs more support than they're giving him!

Freddy If you say so. Nice to start in on the personal insults.

I hope the strategies and interventions work well and help him, OP. It's none of any other parents' business what those are, but the correct way to address any concerns about behaviour towards their own DC is to approach the school, not you, and certainly not in the way the grandfather did.

I wish people would read salient points in threads. OP's DS does have support, certain times of day possibly need more support, which is being put in place and he has an EHCP.
Can't see how that is in any way OP ignoring issues.

BillSykes the child is disabled, not naughty.

Also, if you walk up to me and shout your concerns in my face at the school gate, nope, probably not going to take much notice of those concerns. Soz.

BillSykes plenty of children bully others by trying to get their target into trouble or learning what will trigger a meltdown etc It's very common where children with SEN are the target.

If other parents have an issue with how the school is dealing with a situation, they need to discuss that with the school. No amount of berating people in the street will stop their child being autistic.

Berating people in the street is highly unlikely to stop 'naughtiness' either, for people truculently hanging on to that tired old pile of bollocks.

I am sad at how this is developing. I do not think my son is perfect I know his behaviour can be annoying etc I am doing my best for him and people who have 'normal' kids don't realise how hard it is to have a disabled one.
He is easily led and does stuff to please other people as he is desperate for friends, a sad situation all round

I work with children like your DS, OP. Please don't give up hope - with the right support he can thrive and incidents like this will get fewer and far between. A good school will also not automatically blame him for everything and deal with false accusations made because "oh, it's always X's fault!"

OK fair enough Volunteer people with autism can do wrong things, though I don't think that is what has happened in this situation. You may have a different opinion.

As volunteer says, the two aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. But even if the behaviour is entirely caused by disability, it's still not okay for another child to be routinely hurt or made to feel bullied and intimidated on a regular basis. If that's happening it is the responsibility of the school and parents to manage that behaviour. The other child can't just be told they are expected to act as a physical whipping boy because another child has a disability.

I agree that the GF should have gone through the school. But I also think if they're going to get the situation resolved to anybody's satisfaction the OP is going to need to be a bit more open to the possibility that the issues here are not 100% on the other side.

Thanks to those who have reported this thread to us.

We've had to make a few deletions on this thread. We wanted to link to our This Is My Child Campaign and and ask people to consider the challenges many parents of children with hidden disabilities, or who have disabilities themselves, face on a daily basis.

Mumsnet exists to make parents' lives easier and if there's one thing we could all do with, it's some understanding and moral support.

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Thanks