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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider cancelling London trip?

225 replies

Anxiousannie89 · 24/05/2017 00:17

It's DH's birthday this weekend and we had booked a trip to London to celebrate.

With what happened in Manchester, we both felt a little uneasy about going but were resolved to go and "get on with our lives" and enjoy the birthday trip. Now I see that the threat level has been raised to critical meaning a terror attack may be imminent and I'm starting to think the trip may not be a great idea.

I've always had quite high anxiety about terrorism so I can't figure out whether I'm being irrational. I should also point out we would be going with our 2 year old and I worry that I'm potentially putting him at risk. I can't figure out whether cancelling the trip is a sensible move in light of the fact we'd be travelling with our young son and the threat level is critical, or whether I would be acting a bit irrationally? DH is happy to go but equally if I said let's cancel, I don't think he would mind.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Craigie · 25/05/2017 18:17

I'd go. We got married just after 9/11 and people genuinely expected us to cancel our honeymoon. I can honestly say it never crossed my mind. IMO, you are never safer than immediately after an event like this. EVERYONE is hyper vigilant, and there are troops on the streets.

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 25/05/2017 18:19

I think there's no point in avoiding London unless you're going to avoid all largish towns / cities and all big shopping centres.

Blueflowers2011 · 25/05/2017 18:28

Londoner here, I walked 9 miles on 7/7. I always wear flat shoes though so it was fine.

I too have this fear.

I agree go with your gut and don't listen to anyone telling you that it will never happen etc etc. A most strongest likelihood ever that it will be wonderful and you wont even notice any terror threat if you do decide to come, weather is looking great for this weekend and you have to remember it's not only London that could potentially be targeted, there are other cities too across the globe.

I get what some people are saying to you (and they are most likely right) but i have this fear too since 7/7 and it is difficult to shake off.

However I have been travelling on the tube everyday to work ever since and doing my normal thing. If I lived within my internal fear I would have been stuck at home for the last 12 years.

Maybe ask yourself when would actually be a 'good' time if you do cancel? Is there ever one? But you must weigh it up in your own mind and make your decision.

Westray · 25/05/2017 18:30

I think there's no point in avoiding London unless you're going to avoid all largish towns / cities and all big shopping centres.

I'm not so sure.
In the past few decades there have been dozens of terrorist attacks in London, many thousands of people being killed or injured in that time.

In my nearest city in the same time there have been no terrorist attacks, not a single death or injury.

London is a major player globally, the media is very London centered too, so any attack is played out at length.

I suspect part of the reason that the attack in manchester was actually because of the fact that Ariana Grande is American, so the attackers knew it would get hue coverage in the USA as as well as UK.

I'm not saying an attack wouldn't happen in my nearest city, but I still feel that London is more of a sitting duck.

mrszebrastripe · 25/05/2017 18:33

You have to do what you feel is best for you and your family. As a Londoner who has lived through years of IRA evacuations and bomb scares, I just get on with it.

Patsy99 · 25/05/2017 18:36

Actually I do get the fear factor but it's worth remembering that we live in times of absolutely unprecedented safety in the West.

I was reading recently about 10,000 British men dying in one single day, in one single battle of WW I (the Somme). That's high risk.

Now the UK is so safe that the accidental death of a single child can make the news. It's so important to keep a rational sense of perspective.

BeyondStrongAndStable · 25/05/2017 18:40

Newport has been shut down all afternoon due to suspicious packages, and it was Swansea yesterday.
London is much more guarded that either of these, you're probably safer there than anywhere else!

Ontopofthesunset · 25/05/2017 18:48

It is understandable to feel afraid. Of course the idea of being caught up in a terrorist attack is frightening. It is irrational to let that fear change your behaviour. As someone else has said, 20,000 people were at the Manchester concert. Of course that doesn't negate the terrible loss of life - any loss of life or injury would be terrible - but it does help to put the risk into perspective. Even if you had been at the concert, you would have been far more likely to be completely unharmed.

The odds of being caught up in a terrorist attack are tiny. They are far lower than the odds of being in an RTA. They are even lower than the chance of winning the lottery.

Millions of people live and work in London. I travelled across the city on trains and tubes today. My husband is somewhere in the West End now. My children get public transport all the time. Would I worry a little bit more about them going to, say, Westfield tomorrow? Yes. Would I stop them? No, because I know they are far more likely to be knocked over crossing the road on the way there and I don't stop them crossing roads.

Of course don't come if you're going to be miserable, but the idea that everyone who lives in London is living some kind of on-the-edge-of-their-seats, permanently risky existence, where the daily commute is a dice with death, is frankly risible.

Westray · 25/05/2017 19:04

Even if you had been at the concert, you would have been far more likely to be completely unharmed.

20,000 people- most unharmed- but that's not true.

20,00 people felt fear, anguish, shock and terror, and not just the people who were there- their families , their loved ones all experienced a dreadful time of concern and worry, until they found that their loved ones were safe. So perhaps multiply that by 10.
And I am sure many of those that attended and their loved ones, the emergency teams, the medical staff, and those involved are still feeling shock or have been deeply affected by the experience, and may still do for a considerable time
It's blaze and condecending to suggest the at most at the concert are OK.

This has deeply affected the lives of hundreds of thousands of people.

VerbenaGirl · 25/05/2017 19:05

I'd go with your gut feeling and not go. The weather is going to be great - so just stay local, relax, eat out, and enjoy family time together. I hope you have a lovely weekend.

nemoni · 25/05/2017 19:07

I completely understand how you feel and think that only you can make the right decision for you. We've got tickets to a big music event in Manchester on Saturday, and kids were booked into parents for the night. I've decided I'm not going, I'd be too nervous so close to the bombing and I just want to spend the evening at home with my children. Rationally I understand it's unlikely anything would happen, and that I need to live my life - but it feels right for me right now while every media channel is full of it all

BG2015 · 25/05/2017 19:08

We're going to London on Saturday for 2 days. Harry Potter theatre tickets booked 18 months ago. I'm going. Nothing will stop me.

GabsAlot · 25/05/2017 19:11

i lived in london when a bomb went off a couple of miles from me-yes it was upsetting but what could w do

it is worse when u move out then see it all happening in a way but like many pp have said the statistics are that youre more likely to die on the way in the car-sorry to be blunt

Ontopofthesunset · 25/05/2017 19:12

I wasn't meaning to be blasé or condescending. Of course I know there are psychological ramifications for everyone there and many people will be deeply traumatised. But most people there were physically unharmed, which was the point I was making in terms of absolute risk.

When someone dies in a plane crash, as my father did, there are ramifications for everyone involved which last for the rest of the survivors' or relatives' lives. But that doesn't mean I'd never fly on a plane or advise anyone else never to fly on a plane. That's true of any traumatic event.

Lovingit81 · 25/05/2017 19:21

I wouldn't go. I just wouldn't take the risk at the moment. It's a high risk city and sounds like you'll be nervous the whole time. Ignore those saying 'carry on regardless' it's no good if you aren't going to enjoy it. Go with your gut. X

Ontopofthesunset · 25/05/2017 19:27

But what is the risk? It's not quantifiable. Yes, there is a critical alert, but that's not restricted to London.

All those people who didn't go to London on all the days after previous attacks when nothing happened were safe, but then so were the people who did go.

I suppose living in London I feel like airline pilots must feel when faced with people with a phobia of flying.

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 25/05/2017 19:30

I suppose living in London I feel like airline pilots must feel when faced with people with a phobia of flying.

Yes, this. Although having said that, I made the choice to live & work in London and the joy I get from that is worth it.

Rowenag · 25/05/2017 19:43

I was taking part in London gay pride a few days after the awful homophobic attack in Orlando in the nightclub and I was a bit apprehensive to be honest. But I pushed through my reservations and I was so glad I did as I had a wonderful day surrounded by like minded people. My child also had a school trip to the South Bank very soon after the Westminster Bridge attack recently and I wanted to stop her going but again I was glad I didn't as she has a lovely time too. Like other Londoners, I am feeling a bit nervy at the moment but I have to travel to central London everyday to go to work. Life has to carry on. I would go if I was you as it is a shame not to. Have a lovely weekend anyway, whatever you decide to do.

Ifailed · 25/05/2017 19:48

In the past few decades there have been dozens of terrorist attacks in London, many thousands of people being killed or injured in that time.

Bollocks.

SellFridges · 25/05/2017 19:57

In the past few decades there have been dozens of terrorist attacks in London, many thousands of people being killed or injured in that time.

I don't recall the precise stat but I think fewer than 200 people have been killed by terrorism in the last 25 years.

Westray · 25/05/2017 20:03

Not bollocks at all.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_terrorist_incidents_in_Great_Britain

Starburst3000 · 25/05/2017 20:06

Probably around a thousand injured, I thought 500 were injured from 7/7 alone but actual deaths much lower as PP had said.

Starburst3000 · 25/05/2017 20:09

Westray that link is for GB as a whole not just London.

Jem6738 · 25/05/2017 20:09

I understand your anxiety. If it helps we went to a pre booked weekend 3 days after the recent Westminster attack. I was slightly worried but I can assure that everything was as normal just subtle increased security. I'm So glad we did. Just be sensible - stick together, be vigilant and enjoy

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 25/05/2017 20:15

[aside]

I was taking part in London gay pride a few days after the awful homophobic attack in Orlando in the nightclub and I was a bit apprehensive to be honest.
Me too (and likewise, extremely glad I went afterwards - it was brilliant, and felt very important after Orlando too).
Are you apprehensive again this year, following Manchester? I really am... I will still go, and take my child with me, but I'm very mindful that it's an ideal target for Isis-inspired terrorism.