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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider cancelling London trip?

225 replies

Anxiousannie89 · 24/05/2017 00:17

It's DH's birthday this weekend and we had booked a trip to London to celebrate.

With what happened in Manchester, we both felt a little uneasy about going but were resolved to go and "get on with our lives" and enjoy the birthday trip. Now I see that the threat level has been raised to critical meaning a terror attack may be imminent and I'm starting to think the trip may not be a great idea.

I've always had quite high anxiety about terrorism so I can't figure out whether I'm being irrational. I should also point out we would be going with our 2 year old and I worry that I'm potentially putting him at risk. I can't figure out whether cancelling the trip is a sensible move in light of the fact we'd be travelling with our young son and the threat level is critical, or whether I would be acting a bit irrationally? DH is happy to go but equally if I said let's cancel, I don't think he would mind.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 24/05/2017 06:41

I live and work in zone 1, so don't have a choice.

That said, I won't be rushing to any shopping centres, stadiums or concert halls (or basically anywhere with lots of people). Thankfully I can walk to and from work and DP and kids - whilst in zone 1 - aren't in massively busy areas.

I've lived 7/7 ( was at King's Cross that morning) but for some reason this current situation has really hit me and made me feel quite nervous. Maybe it was the fact it was essentially youngsters targetted or maybe it was just one attack too many, but I'm spooked.

TheoriginalLEM · 24/05/2017 06:44

I wouldn't go. I love going to London but i wont be going. I am really sad about this but I'd just be too scared. I live near Canterbury and i am nervous when i go there and will most likely avoid the city centre when i go. My dd has to travel there by bus for school and id be lying if I said I wasn't scared.

It's not about not letting "them" win its about how i feel and I am scared.

I went to work yesterday and had to learn alot if new stuff but in the back of my mind i felt guilty for carrying on when otger people's lives have been destroyed. I know people are killed on the roads, die from cancer every day and i am saddened by this too. I don't like my dd travelling in the car without me.

sunshinesupermum · 24/05/2017 06:44

Security will be high. It is raised as a precaution. I spend a lot of time in Paris and frankly the presence of soldiers in the streets has become reassuring not frightening.

Do please come to London and have a wonderful weekend, all three of you.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 24/05/2017 06:45

Yeah, I think it's a tricky call - not so much because of the terrorism risk as for the OP's anxiety. But, you know - the risk of being affected by terrorist activity is significantly greater in central London than it is in a rural backwater. I wouldn't judge OP (or say it's "letting them win") if she revised her plans on this basis.

I've lived in zone 2/3 London all my life. I work in Westminster. I will carry on as normal' to a great extent, and probably go through a phase of finding the tube very stressful again; but I may well be much more cautious about where I take DS for a while. And I had already decided not to take him to Westfield any more (although tbf this is hardly a great sacrifice).

glueandstick · 24/05/2017 06:45

I'd stay away. Mainly because it's supposed to be really hot this weekend and there is nothing worse than the tube on a really hot day.

diodati · 24/05/2017 06:47

I've booked to fly to Paris to visit a friend in July, leaving my two teenage DC alone (but with supervision from neighbours). I was anxious about going before the attack in Manchester but it has, of course, reawakened my unease. But that's the point of terrorism, isn't it? To scare us all to death, to cause us to fear everyone and everything. Well, fuck that! I'm going. Yah boo sucks!

sunshinesupermum · 24/05/2017 06:48

My DP and DD2 are going to a gig at 02 on Sunday; DD2 has to travel to Salford for a conference overnight today and she suffers from severe anxiety and OCD issues so rightly would feel nervous. I'm very proud of her.

But we personally can't live our lives in the shadows. It has nothing to do with 'letting them win' at all. But that's just us, other people obv don't feel the same.

Pansiesandredrosesandmarigolds · 24/05/2017 06:51

'In reported road traffic accidents for the year ending March 2016: there were 1,780 road deaths, unchanged from the year ending March 2015. 24,610 people were killed or seriously injured. there were 187,050 casualties of all severities.'

annandale · 24/05/2017 06:51

I agree about the heat!

I'm flying this weekend and wish I wasn't but I hate flying at the best of times. I won't cancel though.

I don't think it would be unreasonable to do something else if you would be too anxious. You do know anything happening is incredibly unlikely but nothing is impossible. You have to live your own life.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 24/05/2017 06:51

DH has asked me to cancel our trip to London next weekend too! I think it's best to stay away from major cities until things have settled down

Well what do you suppose those that live and work in major cities do exactly?

Charlieismydarlin · 24/05/2017 06:53

Things won't be settling down for a good few years so you either stop travelling or get on with it

wowfudge · 24/05/2017 06:53

Stay at home if you want and you are highly likely to stay alive, barring a domestic accident Whether you are having a life in doing so instead of going ahead with your plans is debatable.

Seriously, you are more likely to get run over by a bus and security will be high so in your shoes I would go ahead as planned.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 24/05/2017 06:56

Def go ahead with your plans. The chances of being caught up in an incident are negligible.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 24/05/2017 06:57

Life is too short to do things that make
You really anxious

And/ we will start to forget about this in a few weeks - we always do x

Jengnr · 24/05/2017 06:58

Just go. You obviously wanted to go or you wouldn't have booked it. It sounds mint.

I've got loads of gigs booked in the next couple of months, one at the MEN (if it's open) and one in London. I'm fucked if I'm letting some murdering bellend fom Fallowfield ruin stuff I've been looking forward to for months.

Even if something happened you'd have to be spectacularly unlucky to be hurt or injured. Obviously any death or injury is too many but the odds are overwhelmingly on your side.

jo10000 · 24/05/2017 06:59

Don't go. It's supposed to be an enjoyable time. How much will you enjoy it if you're worrying?

Pansiesandredrosesandmarigolds · 24/05/2017 06:59

These are not horrible times. We are not at war. We are remarkably safe (far less crime than 30 years ago, far fewer traffic deaths, and it's not like the IRA/loyalist terrorists were much fun either). The Manchester attacks were a horrific tragedy, but they aren't the sign of a society in collapse.

boolifooli · 24/05/2017 07:01

I was in London last Saturday. I might be a bit too jumpy to go this weekend. It doesn't make sense and isn't rational but it's there

Westray · 24/05/2017 07:01

I would cancel.

You won't have fun if you feel anxious, and temperatures are set to soar above 30 degrees in London this weekend.
Cities in the heat are awful.

user1492287253 · 24/05/2017 07:02

i genuinely think you need to go with your instinct. i was slated on here last year when i cancelled a week in paris i planned with dh and our 8yr old. my dh commutes into london every day so i hardly think we were running from terrorism. but the recent events meant it wasnt going to be the same relaxing break we needed. someone actually tracked me down in here to helofully point out afterwards that nothing had happened and how stupid i was. they somewhat missed the point

IamNotDarling · 24/05/2017 07:05

Go.

I have tickets for the theatre tonight, will use the tube as usual, walk over Westminster bridge and generally carry on with life.

If I don't, what message am I giving my DC?

Well said Jengr r'kid, some scroaty knob 'ed from Fallowfield isn't going to ruin my life (I reckon you're a fellow Manc).

GoodEnough1 · 24/05/2017 07:05

I think you should cancel. The government has put the country on highest security alert status for a reason and the security services
know a lot more than we do. I work in central London and our office has been closed. You are making this decision not just for yourself but your children too. Be safe and have fun doing something else.

TestTubeTeen · 24/05/2017 07:06

"I have never been in the situation where the leader of the country I live in tells the population that a fresh terror attack is imminent."

You have, If you lived in the U.K. in 2006 and 2007 .

honeylulu · 24/05/2017 07:08

I would go.
But then I have to travel to London every day for work. Some of us don't have much choice. I am a natural worrier but I just try not to think about it.

Gabilan · 24/05/2017 07:10

Considering the population of London, you have near the same odds as winning the lottery tommorow - 1 in 9 Million

If you mean the national lottery your odds of winning are roughly 1 in 14 million. It depends on the odds of selecting the numbers, not the number of people playing which is irrelevant (except that you might have to split the prize if there's more than one winner). If you mean a different lottery in which the odds are actually 1 in 9 mill apologies.

OP your greatest risk in London is the traffic - either from collision or pollution. But we're not logical animals and if you'll spend the weekend on edge the whole time don't go because you won't enjoy yourself.