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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider cancelling London trip?

225 replies

Anxiousannie89 · 24/05/2017 00:17

It's DH's birthday this weekend and we had booked a trip to London to celebrate.

With what happened in Manchester, we both felt a little uneasy about going but were resolved to go and "get on with our lives" and enjoy the birthday trip. Now I see that the threat level has been raised to critical meaning a terror attack may be imminent and I'm starting to think the trip may not be a great idea.

I've always had quite high anxiety about terrorism so I can't figure out whether I'm being irrational. I should also point out we would be going with our 2 year old and I worry that I'm potentially putting him at risk. I can't figure out whether cancelling the trip is a sensible move in light of the fact we'd be travelling with our young son and the threat level is critical, or whether I would be acting a bit irrationally? DH is happy to go but equally if I said let's cancel, I don't think he would mind.

What would you do?

OP posts:
fliptopbin · 24/05/2017 10:13

We are going to London this weekend. I panicked a bit, but we are stil going. I figure that since I live in another big tourist destination (York), we are as safe in London as we are here. The next step would be never leaving the house

fliptopbin · 24/05/2017 10:16

By the way, I am not saying this to be unsympathetic, I am reassuring myself as much as trying to reassure others.

NataliaOsipova · 24/05/2017 10:24

As for travelling in to London - people keep saying the odds haven't changed. Well they have, ever so slightly, but they have.

Possibly - but in that case they've changed in our favour, as the police now have more intelligence than they had on Monday.

EastDulwichWife · 24/05/2017 10:24

YABU. I'm one of the 8.6m and have no fear, at all, about being here. The alternative is cancelling your holiday and never leaving the house (whilst being fearful of a cyber attack on your smart fridge). Move on, enjoy your life.

Therealslimshady1 · 24/05/2017 10:33

I get worried anyway, going to London or any airport.

But I still go, I sort of put my anxiety aside because once I am there (London, airport) I don't feel scared, at all.

Weirdly, DS (14) is going to London at the WE with a friend and am worried about him. Silly maybe. But am not stopping him going.

Dianneabbottsmathsteacher · 24/05/2017 10:36

It depends if you can relax enough to enjoy it op and that's a decision only you can make.

OddMollie · 24/05/2017 10:51

I regularly travel to London for work and can completely manage any feeling of anxiety for myself (a combination of that 1 in 9 million thing and disrupting my work simply not being an option.) But I have two daughters away at uni, going regularly to city nightclubs and concerts, as well as to the summer festivals, and I've got to admit that scares me. The Orlando club shooting made a massive impact on me, and the hatred extremists have for the kind of freedoms those places epitomise really disturbs me. Of course I don't share that with my daughters. I sometimes struggle with the 'letting terrorists win' rhetoric, but in this case seeing my beautiful, adventurous, joyful girls give up some of their freedom and miss out on the fun of being young really would be playing completely into their hands. They want women to be afraid and invisible.

It's really tough, but I think we have - as a society and individuals - to learn to acknowledge the fear and manage it, because I can't see the problem disappearing overnight. Each age has its threat, and this, unfortunately, is ours.

mrsmortis · 24/05/2017 11:07

I've a trip planned with my DD2 and it hadn't even occurred to me not to go.

specialsubject · 24/05/2017 11:14

There are , what , 8 million people in London? Are they all moving out? Is the entire population of Manchester leaving?

Mind out on the roads. 5 people killed on the m6 this morning, and like most road collisions it was probably the result of a deliberate decision on someone's part. To use a phone, to drive tired or drunk, to speed, to drive too close, to overtake dangerously. To play with the lives of others.

And it happens every day.

daisypond · 24/05/2017 11:35

I live in London, so do my DC. We have to carry on going to school and work as normal. We travel on the Tubes and buses and trains, go to the shops, go past/in/on/through buildings/bridges/streets every day.

PollyPelargonium52 · 24/05/2017 12:18

If we were swayed by the horrors that go on around the world and what we hear through the media we would just stay in a dark room and never go anywhere. Life is too short to go round living small and in fear we have to just carry on as per in my opinion.

expatinscotland · 24/05/2017 13:53

We live in one of the safest places in the country. It still didn't stop my young daughter from getting cancer and dying. On Sunday, a young woman died in a RTA. No place is safe. Life is far too short to live in fear. I know if I lose another child, I will end my own life, the pain is too much to be born twice, but there's no way on Earth I'll let my own fear of that colour their lives and stop them from living life how they see fit.

PollyPelargonium52 · 24/05/2017 14:21

Hear hear expat and so sorry to hear of your tragic loss.

Code42 · 24/05/2017 14:44

Just to further set things into perspective: there were 21,000 people in the audience in Manchester. It's fine not to go to London if you don't want to: but where are you going to draw the line? When it's no longer headline news? Or some other but equally arbitrary cut off? The astonishing thing about Manchester, unfortunately, was that it took so long for somewhere other than Manchester to be targeted successfully. This is not the last time this will happen - but London is probably, paradoxically, the safest place in the UK right now.

Davros · 24/05/2017 15:14

I went to school and then work on the tube during the IRA bombings. I'm meeting my sister in Town on Friday, never crossed my mind not to go

Itsnotwhatitseems · 24/05/2017 22:26

Although I don't work in London, I take the commuter train and get off just before. This morning I was on the platform and noticed 2 armed police officers at my local station, we are on the route between Brighton and London but not a city, a large town near airport, but I was a little taken aback to see them there. So its not just London, its everywhere and I guess the police presence is a good thing. I also noticed messages over the tannoy announcing the See, Say and sort policy at the stations, linked as well I think

blue25 · 24/05/2017 22:31

Was supposed to be going into central London this Saturday, but have cancelled. Just doesn't feel safe. Won't feel comfortable so why risk it?

Daydream007 · 24/05/2017 22:53

Go to London, relax and enjoy yourself. Security will be high. There is a much bigger chance of being killed in a car crash than in a terrorist attack.

PoppyFleur · 24/05/2017 23:00

Expat Flowers what you have endured is my very worst fear.

Your beautifully worded sentiment is a reminder that life can be cruel but ultimately life is a privilege.

pollymere · 25/05/2017 17:44

You can't live in fear. I was lucky I was working from home on 7/7 and I watched 9/11 on a screen located on 22nd floor of an office tower. I've become very calm on this topic and decided that I need to live my life, come what may. Otherwise you're just Rapunzel locked in a tower.

mrsnoname · 25/05/2017 17:45

You should cancel, you sound anxious enough already and you wouldn't enjoy the trip. I live within the M25 but haven't been in Central London with my children for 2 yrs now and that is a conscious decision.

Only yesterday we turned down my BIL who suddenly decided to get on the plane and pay us a visit over the bank holiday w/e. He's never been in the UK since my DH moved here 25 yrs ago!!! We are highly unlikely to accompany him into Central London and quite frankly it is not the best time for him to play the tourist either!!

HundredMilesAnHour · 25/05/2017 17:59

I don't want to be disrespectful of people's feeling but I find some of the anti-London brigade's comments quite OTT (sorry, not trying to offend anyone!!) Maybe my opinion is coloured as I'm typing this from central London since I live and work here. I was in Canary Wharf this morning for a couple of meetings and everyone was going about their business as usual. And given the HUGE number of people sitting outside on the grass at lunchtime, there are plenty of people who ARE still coming to London. Some of the posters on here make it sound like being in London is a deathwish and those of us who choose to be here are pushing our luck. Well, tomorrow I will be pushing my luck further and flying out of a very busy Heathrow. Doesn't worry me in the slightest. I'm much more concerned about my DF who is currently on the M6 given the number of recent accidents there. Ironically he's on his way back home to Manchester and that doesn't worry me either. Just the crazy motorway drivers!

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 25/05/2017 18:10

The Westminster / Piccadilly area looked pretty busy to me today too, Hundred. Both workers and tourists.

I'm taking part in a 10K through Central London on Monday, in memory of a friend who died of pancreatic cancer. One person an HOUR dies from it. I've been training & getting sponsors for Pancreatic Cancer UK for months. Am I going to back out now? Am I fuck.

Life in London goes on, whether people feel "comfortable" coming here or not.

paxillin · 25/05/2017 18:15

Regent Street was ridiculously busy today, looked like the week before Christmas. I think most people are still coming for their day trips and Holidays. Those of us who live and work here haven't gone away, either. It's safe. (Well, crossing Oxford Street isn't, but that's not what you fear)