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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider cancelling London trip?

225 replies

Anxiousannie89 · 24/05/2017 00:17

It's DH's birthday this weekend and we had booked a trip to London to celebrate.

With what happened in Manchester, we both felt a little uneasy about going but were resolved to go and "get on with our lives" and enjoy the birthday trip. Now I see that the threat level has been raised to critical meaning a terror attack may be imminent and I'm starting to think the trip may not be a great idea.

I've always had quite high anxiety about terrorism so I can't figure out whether I'm being irrational. I should also point out we would be going with our 2 year old and I worry that I'm potentially putting him at risk. I can't figure out whether cancelling the trip is a sensible move in light of the fact we'd be travelling with our young son and the threat level is critical, or whether I would be acting a bit irrationally? DH is happy to go but equally if I said let's cancel, I don't think he would mind.

What would you do?

OP posts:
roundaboutthetown · 24/05/2017 07:12

London is safer now than it was a few days ago, because of the heightened alert. Safer to go now than it was a few days ago, before the security services had the intelligence from the Manchester attack to work on. Take advantage of the window of opportunity - or never go to London ever again, because you will never, ever know when or where an attack is going to take place and the threat of terrorism of one sort or another will never go away. It's unlikely in reality, once you are there, that you will spend the entire time in a state of abject fear. Yes, you may feel nervous on public transport, particularly the underground, but central London is pretty easy to walk around, anyway, with lots of parks.

Moussemoose · 24/05/2017 07:13

They win if we don't carry on.
We win if we get on with our lives.
I'm going in to Manchester on Saturday, my DM who is in her 70s is going in today.

Gabilan · 24/05/2017 07:13

The government has put the country on highest security alert status for a reason

I suspect there are several reasons and one is that there's an election in just over 2 weeks and May wants to prove she's strong and stable. Or at least put the fear of god into everyone so that they decide to stay with the status quo rather than change.

angryladyboobs · 24/05/2017 07:14

I'm honestly, I wouldn't go. But saying that if you don't go, those cunts win.

Ifailed · 24/05/2017 07:14

To be honest, I'd be more concerned about going to a small city/town. There will be fewer police around and little or no ant-terrorist services; it would be a lot easier for a suicide attacker to operate. Places like London have far more security personnel and surveillance 24x7.

Oblomov17 · 24/05/2017 07:15

WetsTheFinger are you really selling your Adele tickets? My lovely SIL was desperate to see her.

WizardOfToss · 24/05/2017 07:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkhorse · 24/05/2017 07:18

My 7 year old ds is going to London on a school trip this week. All the parents are talking about cancelling now. I don't know what to do.

ZeldaWasMyGransName · 24/05/2017 07:18

Don't go if you will worried and not enjoy it, it's your weekend and you shouldn't do things you don't want to!

However, I live in London, pretty central. Everyone who lives here will carry on. It is awful, awful, beyond awful, that Manchester and other attacks have happened.

But it could be anywhere, and by that stretch do we not leave our houses? And for how long? People are living and working in big cities today, like they were after 7/7, and 9/11, and Paris and every other attack.

I hope you can enjoy your weekend whatever you decide.

Charlieismydarlin · 24/05/2017 07:18

I don't think London is less safe than anywhere else now.

If I was one of these idiots, I wouldn't choose London.

Loopytiles · 24/05/2017 07:19

MH advisers often say that avoiding travel and doing things can actually make anxiety worse. I have anxiety and commute to London: am on the train now! It is hard to manage my anxiety sometimes, I had help after 7/7 as was having panic attacks on the commute, and I do understand why people do avoid things. But sometimes people have anxiety affecting their lives and don't admit it to themselves or seek help.

I had a relative like this who, in the 90s, was so scared of terrorism (IRA) she would't fly or visit major cities, or let her DC do so, which was restrictive for the family.

stillawakeatthishour · 24/05/2017 07:19

Myself and dh are suppose to be going away this weekend for 3 nights, parents are watching children. I now wondered whether to cancel, not because of us but because i dont want to leave dc here with everything going on, even though i know parents will look after them. Im just worried.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 24/05/2017 07:20

You are at more risk of being involved in an RTA than actually being caught up in a terroristrocity.

Would go to London and celebrate his birthday. Just be aware of your own surroundings.

eurochick · 24/05/2017 07:21

I'll be on the train into London in an hour, as I am 5 days a week. I'll be vigilant around stations and so on, but will carry on as normal.

Athrawes · 24/05/2017 07:22

Seriously I wonder where people were during the 70-90's (can't speak for earlier as not born). The IRA were a cause of major disruption and killed 100's but we seem to have just got on. As a teenager I was made aware of the need to watch out for unattended packages, in a way that leaves my alert even now, but still we didn't let it limit our adventures.

Westray · 24/05/2017 07:23

But it could be anywhere

Zelda, sorry but I disagree.

I feel very safe where I live.
Terrorists choose places where large numbers of people congregate and where they will get lots of media attention. Big cities, stadia, airports etc.

I like is a small village in a rural backwater in Scotland.
No visible police presence here.

juneau · 24/05/2017 07:23

How to avoid being the victim of a terror attack:

Don't go on a train
Don't go on a bus
Don't go on a plane
Don't even enter an airport
Don't go on holiday
Don't go to a shopping centre
Don't go to a music venue
Don't go to a nightclub
Don't go a school or university campus
Don't go to a Christmas market
Don't go anywhere where you'll be in a large crowd ...

Do you see where I'm going with this? Basically the only way you can sure of not being a victim of terrorism is to live in a village in a remote place and never leave!

I would go. As everyone else has said your chances of being involved in an act of terror are infinitesimal, and even if one occurs in London this weekend you are extremely unlikely to be anywhere near it.

Also, with the raised terror threat I bet London will actually be safer this weekend than it was last.

maddiemookins16mum · 24/05/2017 07:28

You do what you feel is best, there's no right or wrong answer here. I'm sitting on a train ready to head to work (Marble Arch), I was a bit anxious yesterday but I have no choice really and there were a lot of police at London Victoria at 5pm last night.

Don't let them win is often said, but "they" did flippin win on Monday night to be fair and it's ok to not want to go somewhere if you feel possibly unsafe.

FuckingDingDong · 24/05/2017 07:29

The attack was in Manchester, not London. The next one is just as likely to happen in Leeds as it is in Cardiff or any other town or city.
Perhaps the reason the attack was in a provincial city is because of the tight security in London

Middleoftheroad · 24/05/2017 07:29

If I was taking kids no, as I would find ot hard to relax, but are you just talking two adults? Then yes.

FuckingDingDong · 24/05/2017 07:31

Don't let them win is often said
They only have to be lucky once. We have to be lucky all the time

CombineBananaFister · 24/05/2017 07:31

We are going to Manchester this weekend and I have to say its the first time I've felt uneasy after a terror attack due to the demographic of that concert, I'm not looking forward to being in the Trafford centre at all.
That being said, we are still going to go as it doesnt matter when we choose to visit or how close it was to another attack the chances of it happening are the same whatever/whenever.
I agree that if you would not enjoy it because of the anxiety levels, then dont go. You dont need to feel like you 'have to get on with it', there is no shame in being frightened after these events as they are truly frightening Sad

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 24/05/2017 07:33

I see pansies has already quoted the statistics for deaths/serious injuries on UK roads between March 2015 and March 2016. The number of deaths in that single year is higher than the number of people killed by terrorism on UK soil in the last seventeen years.

Yet no-one comes on here asking: should I go out of the front door, get into my car and drive to work tomorrow?

Penfold007 · 24/05/2017 07:33

London is my home, it's where I live, work, socialise, shop, raise my family etc. The IRA campaign had an impact on my childhood in London just as it did in other mainland cities and much more so in NI.
None of us know what our futures hold, do what works for you.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 24/05/2017 07:35

I would go too.

I last went to London a couple of years ago and if anything I found the armed police presence more reassuring than anything. But alas that's me and we're all different.

Do what you feel is right for you.