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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Packing for Y6 residential

52 replies

RedSkyAtNight · 22/05/2017 18:31

DD is on a Y6 residential. I was talking to a colleague today who made a remark along the lines of me having to spend the evening packing for her. Er no - there is a list and DD is perfectly able to pack for herself. I asked a couple of question at the end along the lines of how many pairs of pants did she pack and did she find the sun cream, but basically it was just clothes, wash stuff, book and a cuddly toy so hardly difficult.

Colleague also has a Y6 child and said she couldn't imagine not packing for them.

My rationale is that DD is 11, not a baby, there is a defined list and she probably has more idea what clothes and shower gel she wants to take then I do!
AIBU?

OP posts:

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 22/05/2017 18:32

If she's old enough to go, she's old enough to pack.

BeyondThePage · 22/05/2017 18:35

mine would always lay it all on the bed, finally work out that she had to carry it all, get rid of half of it, ask if it was ok and pack.

MerryMarigold · 22/05/2017 18:36

I packed for my ds. He's never done it before.we had a huge list of bits including something to hang around your neck to attach key to, bags for washing, deodorant (be didn't use it, but had to take it), medication, money in separate envelopes, gazillion different pairs of shoes, clothes for many different weather types etc. I found it challenging! Also to fit it into small case!

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 22/05/2017 18:39

DS packed while I checked as he went along that he had spare pants, carrier bag for wet/dirty clothes, etc. I didn't look in his bag but got him to say yes or no. I found it helped him remember to be responsible as he didn't want to be nagged.

We have the same approach for cadet and DoE expeditions now.

SisterhoodisPowerful · 22/05/2017 18:44

We packed together. She's been on lots of residential trips with school and Brownies and she's completely capable of doing it herself. Cat is a prima Donna so we both enjoy watching her 'you're leaving meeeee' productions.

That1950sMum · 22/05/2017 18:44

I'd definitely do it with them. I agree they should take responsibility, but I'd want to know they hadn't forgotten something critical. I know for a fact my DD wouldn't consider either deodorant or a hairbrush as essentials!

BarbarianMum · 22/05/2017 18:48

Well great if that suits you. We're still at the him getting it all together on the bed and me giving it the once over stage.

Mumumara · 22/05/2017 18:48

Depends on the child and how much experience of trips they have. DD (12) has been going on camps about twice per year with beavers/cubs/scouts since age of 7ish, and now I absolutely leave her to pack with the provided list (and have done for a couple of years). I tend to go up with the checklist when she's almost done for the final check. Proud of her that she can do this (she's quite mature) but that was part of the point of joining scout movement as I admire how kids are encouraged to become independent.
For the kids that haven't had the opportunities yet, also ok to help them - it would not be very encouraging if they felt unsupported and had a crap time because they forgot their knickers, and might put them off travel and trying new things for life.

So there's always a trajectory towards independence, and it doesn't always start at the same time for all kids.

Duckiesprettycrazy · 22/05/2017 18:50

My DD is yr 6 and would pack for herself, however my Yr11 DS would struggle to do it unaided.

Marv1nGay3 · 22/05/2017 18:53

I made sure my DD had the things on the school list, and then let her get on with it. We had to swap to a bigger case once she had added in all the 'essential' Buildabear clothes, books and colouring pens...... plus slippers ( so important for camping?!)! Oh well as long as she is happy with what she has packed!!

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 22/05/2017 18:56

Sort of related to this, when you go on holiday do you pack for your DC and up to what age? I tend to pack for DS only because I am good at getting everything into a suitcase without too much crumpling or wasted space, but I expect him to get his clothes out for packing, and his toiletries. If it's not in the pile it won't be packed. He is nearly 17.

BubbleBed · 22/05/2017 18:56

We did it together. Several cubs and beavers trips down, but five days away with school and for every weather condition, we did it together. Took me two minutes and gave me peace of mind tbh.

metalmum15 · 22/05/2017 18:56

We would always pack together. School always give a list, but when there's about 20 essentials on that list, if I'm not double checking, something inevitably is going to get missed. Also, I don't see the problem with helping them pack, no matter what their age. Surely it's just being helpful and part of a parents job?

NapQueen · 22/05/2017 19:01

If it was mine Id do it with them. Theyd make all the suggestions ans folding and packing and all Id do is ask "why no underwear? And are you sure you really need three dressing gowns?"

Tip as an ex instructor who used to work these places - if they are taking a sleeping bag it either needs to go inside the luggage or carried as a completely separate item. Walking boots ditto.

Nothing worse than trying to dish out luggage which was half trapped under other bags by bits of cord or carrier bags of boots.

anon1987 · 22/05/2017 19:01

I packed for dd 10 and would probably still pack for her now.
Only cause when she went on her residential there was so much to remember. Plus they could only take a limited size luggage bag, and I had to squeeze everything in there and check it off the list.

hazeyjane · 22/05/2017 19:10

I packed with dd1 (11), she has been really anxious and it was a good way of reducing her anxiety.

They're all different

Viserion · 22/05/2017 19:13

My DS first went on a residential in Y2. I gave him the list, got him to lay it all out, I checked it and then he put in a bag. I will do the same with DS2 who is 7 and going on his first trip next month.

DS1 now does all his packing with minimal input from me. Just a reminder not to forget pants and socks pretty much.

Viserion · 22/05/2017 19:13

DS1 now does all his packing with minimal input from me. Just a reminder not to forget pants and socks pretty much.

Viserion · 22/05/2017 19:13

Sorry, DS1 is 11, in Y6.

InflagranteDelicto · 22/05/2017 19:20

Dd1 went on hers today. I mostly left her too it, helped where she wanted help, but otherwise she sorted herself. Like others, she's done brownie and guide trips, plus visits to her grandad, she's pretty capable.

Mumzypopz · 22/05/2017 19:26

I would lay out what is required, then he would pack it so as he knows where in the suitcase to find stuff and recognise some of the new clothes as his, if mixed up in the dorm. No way would I trust him to retrieve all the right stuff from his room to pack. The list they provide is too long, and they don't need all the stuff on the list. It would stress him out if he thought something was on the list, but he didn't have it.

Wolfiefan · 22/05/2017 19:28

Mine would fetch stuff and I would tick stuff off the list. Don't want to be called by the school as they've forgotten something vital.

GrangeMill · 22/05/2017 19:32

IME they'll come home in the clothes (including underwear) that they went in, but you'll still have to wash the whole case full because they'll have put their wet swim gear and towels in there. But I.have boys.

I was horrified when I collected ds1 but then I realised all the other boys' mum's were feeling the same horror.

I did help them tick off the list because I didn't want to be the negligent parent who hadn't sent everything they needed.

harderandharder2breathe · 22/05/2017 20:06

I have plenty of Brownies who pack themselves. Equally several Guides who's mums pack for them.

I think doing it together is best. Then the child knows what they have and where it is and adult knows they have enough clean underwear and are taking clothes that are practical.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 22/05/2017 20:06

I packed last year, he wore the same clothes all week and didn't use the towels or the shower gel.

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