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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Packing for Y6 residential

52 replies

RedSkyAtNight · 22/05/2017 18:31

DD is on a Y6 residential. I was talking to a colleague today who made a remark along the lines of me having to spend the evening packing for her. Er no - there is a list and DD is perfectly able to pack for herself. I asked a couple of question at the end along the lines of how many pairs of pants did she pack and did she find the sun cream, but basically it was just clothes, wash stuff, book and a cuddly toy so hardly difficult.

Colleague also has a Y6 child and said she couldn't imagine not packing for them.

My rationale is that DD is 11, not a baby, there is a defined list and she probably has more idea what clothes and shower gel she wants to take then I do!
AIBU?

OP posts:
JsOtherHalf · 22/05/2017 20:24

10 year old DS and I do all his packing together. Well, I sit on the bed, and supervise as he goes through the list. He goes camping with scouts quite often at the moment.

offblackeggshell · 22/05/2017 20:26

14 yo DD has some friends whose parents packed for them for their DofE bronze expedition - I kid you not.

TeenAndTween · 22/05/2017 20:26

With DD2 for y6 I gave her the list and she got the stuff out, I checked it and we put it in the suitcase together.
But she is used to doing this as we have been building up to it when packing for holidays over the years.

MrsFionaCharming · 22/05/2017 22:23

I tell mY Beavers that they should be following the packing list and lying everything put on their bed, then getting it checked by an adult, then packing it into their bag themselves. That way, they have everything they need and they know where it is.

Ohyesiam · 22/05/2017 22:54

My dd packed for her year 5 trip no problem, my ds was totally floored by it.

budgiegirl · 22/05/2017 23:12

I packed for dd 10 and would probably still pack for her now

The problem with this is that by packing for your DD , you are making a lot of work for the leaders/teachers when she's away on the residential/camp.

It's amazing how many children will say I haven't got a spare jumper/waterproof/toothbrush/torch or whatever, because they don't know what they've got or where to find it. I've spent many a camp evening rooting through rucksacks looking for a toothbrush that a cub swears they dont have.

Get your child's things together if you must, but please, please let them pack it themselves. It's no good just telling them what's in there, they won't remember!

melj1213 · 22/05/2017 23:26

Get your child's things together if you must, but please, please let them pack it themselves. It's no good just telling them what's in there, they won't remember!

I do it the opposite way whenever DD8 is going away on a trip or holiday with her dad or whatever.

I give her the list if one is provided or we make one together so she doesn't forget anything and get her to find it all and put it on her bed. Then I get her to read the list out and as she reads it, I pack it so I can double check that she has everything, that it's packed properly and there's no chance of leaky shower gels going unnoticed etc, and as she's there DD knows where I've packed everything.

As she gets older I'll let her pack for herself but for the moment this system is almost identical to how we pack to go away together - because I usually only take one case for the two of us or mix our stuff between two cases - she will lay her stuff out, I'll review it and then be the one to physically put the stuff in the case. As she gets older and progresses to having her own bags/cases for trips I'll start having her do the physical packing too.

budgiegirl · 23/05/2017 09:52

and as she's there DD knows where I've packed everything

IME (although I appreciate this might not be the case for your DD) if the child does not physically pack the case/rucksack themselves, they tend not to remember where things are.

It's also quite different if you are packing for a child to spend the weekend with their dad, where dad has time to look for any items that the child can't find, as opposed to a school/scout trip where leaders have lots of children to look after, and are having to search through bags for items which may or may not exist

budgiegirl · 23/05/2017 10:03

As she gets older I'll let her pack for herself but for the moment this system is almost identical to how we pack to go away together - because I usually only take one case for the two of us or mix our stuff between two cases - she will lay her stuff out, I'll review it and then be the one to physically put the stuff in the case

This is a different scenario though, and makes perfect sense, when we go away together we take two cases between 5, everyone gets their own things out, and I pack it all. When we are away, if someone doesn't where their toothbrush is, it's no bother for me to say "it's in the blue soap bag" or whatever.

Very different from the child on cub camp who can't remember where the toothbrush is, and the person who packed it isn't there to ask

Kokusai · 23/05/2017 10:50

My mum packed with me for PGL trips up to Y6 and a ski trip in Y7.

She talked me through the general principles like thinking how many days, so how many pairs of pants, what activities, etc. Then I made a list and she had a look over it with me and then we packed together.

It isn't an inherent 'known' thing to know what you need to pack for a trip.

NotAnotherUserName5 · 23/05/2017 11:08

My year 6 DC has just got back from hers.
She wouldn't let me pack her bag and managed just fine with a list (and me asking if she had x y and z)

It was part of it for her, being a little independent and grown up.

budgiegirl · 23/05/2017 12:18

It isn't an inherent 'known' thing to know what you need to pack for a trip

No, of course, it's a skill that is learned like any other. And I agree that there's nothing wrong with supervising your child to make sure they've got everything when they are packing, but ( at least from the leaders/teachers point of view ) it's best to let the child pack their own bag so they know where their things are.

lougle · 23/05/2017 12:25

DD1 has SN and went on her Y6 residential two weeks ago. I made her a laminated picture kit list and we packed together so she could see where everything went and she could see exactly what all of her stuff looked like when she (or her teachers!) had to try and find it to pack it again. Her teachers said it was really helpful.

I8toys · 23/05/2017 12:30

I got all of his stuff together and we packed it together so he knew where everything was. I even bagged it up per day so he can just put dirty stuff in the bag and take out the new. He needs more help than his older ds!

NavyandWhite · 23/05/2017 12:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaudLyn · 23/05/2017 12:40

My DDs school told us to have them pack for themselves, as they have to repack to come home. So they know where everything is, and what they've got.

harderandharder2breathe · 23/05/2017 12:41

I agree it's a learned skill to pack a bag, which is why the child needs to learn to do it not just always have their parent do it for them. Packing together is how you teach the child to do it themselves.

still forgot her pillows and wellies on a Guide trip.... when I was leader!

BrieAndChilli · 23/05/2017 12:46

It completely depends on the child. It i would always double check it at the end.

My 10 year old DS would pack about 1 outfit and a toothbrush and that would be it

8 year old DD on the other hand makes a list weeks in advance, and starts laying things out a couple of days before. I could probably not check hers and be confident she had every scenario covered and then some!!

frasersmummy · 23/05/2017 12:51

DS is 12.. does a lot of weekends away with boys brigades. He generally gets his stuff together..we double check against the list together then he moans it doesn't all fit in his bag so I usually pack. What amuses me is that he has no problem fitting it all in to come home...me thinks he has me wrapped round his little finger Blush

budgiegirl · 23/05/2017 13:02

I ask Ds 10 what he wants to take but pack it for him. No biggie

I know you feel it's no biggie to pack for him, and I get that you feel you are helping him, but the problem will be when he gets to camp/residential he may struggle to find things and it will be the teachers who have to help find it.

We always stress to the parents of our cubs to let them pack their own bags. Some still pack for them though, and it does get frustrating, and time wasting, when those cubs cant find the things they need, because 'mum didn't pack me a jumper!'

Ameliablue · 23/05/2017 13:16

I certainly didn't pack for my DD. I help my 9 year old pack when we go away and I'll pack competition bags for my 11 year old when she's swimming but anything else she does herself.

NavyandWhite · 23/05/2017 13:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

budgiegirl · 23/05/2017 13:34

Struggle to find things? How? It's all there in his case

Oh, you'd be surprised!

If the child has put it in, they know for sure it's there somewhere and will spend far longer looking for it. If they are not sure because someone else packed, they sometimes don't find the item even if it's right on top!

Or if the item has been packed in a side pocket, there's practically no chance of them finding it Smile

anditwasallgoingsowell · 23/05/2017 13:37

It's a learned skill. In year 6 I would expect them to want to choose a certain amount of what they bring. I get mine to lay it out on the bed but then i help them tick off the list as they pack.

However if you do let your child do all their packing all entirely on their own. Please don't be cross when we call you from camp asking you to bring trainers/wellies/waterproofs/swim costume/sun hat so that your child can take part in an activity when everything they needed was written on the kit list.

NavyandWhite · 23/05/2017 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.