I know ibu but still

[koalabeartape]

I'm 15 weeks pregnant and told family a couple of weeks ago.

Was told this weekend that my sister is also pregnant.

We do not get on.

I know I'm being unreasonable and whatnot but I'm scared she's going to have a girl and I'm not.

You really need to get your head round the fact that there is a 50% chance your baby is a boy.

Congratulations! Why are you scared about not having a girl though? Boys are lovely too.

Who gives a damn as long as they are well, happy and healthy? GPs love either gender. You are blessed to be carrying a child so stop with the competitive crap and enjoy.

I understand OP.

Lots of people have a gender preference, even if they don't admit it. And you wanted this to be all about you, not shared with your sister.

It will be okay though. A cousin the same age is fun for kids. Do you live close by? Are these the first grandchildren on your side? Will your mum be involved with both of you?

I hope you have a nice supportive partner and their parents are pleased too. I hope you get the girl you want but now I've met some more boy babies I know they can be lovely too.

"but I'm scared she's going to have a girl and I'm not"

what the hell does this mean??

Understandable but try not to think about that.
Just work towards having a happy pregnancy and a happy healthy baby at the end of it.

She may have a boy, you both may have girls. Either way it will be one or the other for both of you (as it is for everyone else). Why the jealousy over having a girl? Children are children, one shouldn't be preferred over another due to the sex they are born. I know you're pregnant, but you still need to get a bit of a grip I'm afraid.

Ooh how annoying. Yes YABU but you feel how you feel - with me it's something to do with the changes in what I expect will happen (eg first grandchild, doting gps, attention on me) and what will actually happen (slightly having to share all that). Yes I am a bit of a selfish cow but I get over it very quickly.

Fwiw my sister is much nicer now she has a baby.

Boys are lovely Op, no one loves their mother quite like a boy!

Don't get my wrong a healthy baby is of course my main concern but this is my last child and i already have a boy and so I'd just love a girl.

I know it's a ridiculous thing to worry about given neither of us have any control just the thought makes me a little sad.

*me

Op, no one loves their mother quite like a boy

Do you not understand how harmful statements like this can be?

She is probably more annoyed about it than I am given it's her first and my second and I announced first but it's the gender thing I'm worried about. I would love a daughter so much. I'd obviously love another little boy like I love my first but can't help if I'd be a little disappointed

Despite what many on here will say, it is OK to have a preference to which gender you want. Yes, baby being healthy is what is the most important, but just because some or even most people don't care which gender they have, it is completely OK if you do.

Unfortunately it is luck of the draw what both you and your sister will get. IF it turns out you are having a little boy and your sister has a girl, don't beat yourself up if you feel jealous, if you have your heart set on having a little girl it is ok to be sad that you're not having a girl, because you will love your son unconditionally and realise you couldn't imagine it being any other way once he is here.

Who knows, especially with both babies being born fairly close together, even if you have a boy and her a girl, they will be very close and you could have a wonderful, very close relationship with her daughter.
It won't be the same as having a daughter of your own, but it could be the next best thing.

Oh Edmund don't make an innocent comment into some sexist shit please.

It was sexist though! Children of either gender can and do love their parents, either gender again, equally.
Suggesting sons love their mothers more than daughters do, was a ridiculous comment to make.

Yeah yeah. Whatever. I couldn't give a toss. Just chill out.

It is sad that even in procreating, you feel the need to be competitive with your sister. Perhaps you should take a step back and look at who these feelings are serving, because quite frankly they aren't doing you or your unborn child any good.

sexist or not, if we are going to bun fight most parents will love their dc more than dc love them.
op enjoy your pregnancy and try not to get into a competition about it, it seems this is more about you and 'd'sis than babies, but try not to let it spoil things.

BusterGonad, it isn't 'some sexist shit', you're suggesting a girl can't love their mum like a boy can, or worse - that being a mummy's boy is the norm/aspirational.

If I'm wrong, please explain what you meant by 'no one quite loves their mother like a boy'.

Look Edmund I'm really not going to takeover the Ops thread because you think my off the cuff comment is a heinous thing to say, I've said it, I can't be arsed to explain myself, if you want to get all upset by it then fine. It was a light hearted comment. You are free to carry on gabbing on about it but I've got better things to do.

BusterGonad, but the whole issue of the thread is the op has preferences of a girl. Not the worst thing in the world, but ultimately kids are kids. Using silly, harmful stereotypes such as you did doesn't help with the whole 'gender preference' issue. I'm sorry you cannot explain why what you said isn't a negative, but it doesn't upset me. Just don't understand how people can still think in this way in this day and age.

Congrats on the impending arrival!

I kind of get where you're coming from, it's hard not to feel a little bit jealous in these sorts of situations when you're pregnant, mine was over the fact that my two friends who's kids were younger than mine announced their second pregnancies before we had ours, despite trying for longer. Yes I know it's daft, but that didn't change how I felt.

You're entitled to your feelings and mumsnet is a great place to vent them, and get them out of your system, so that IRL you can appear "Normal"

bustergonad i have two DD's your statement hurt.