I know ibu but still

[koalabeartape]

I'm 15 weeks pregnant and told family a couple of weeks ago.

Was told this weekend that my sister is also pregnant.

We do not get on.

I know I'm being unreasonable and whatnot but I'm scared she's going to have a girl and I'm not.

Thanks guys, but I've realized I'm the devil incarnate!!! I will never live this down! 😂

tiny

I did say in my experience, not saying it's a fact ffs.

Get over yourself... basically.

My sister was the same as you. She wanted a boy so bad as I had already had 3 girls. She had a girl, and another girl after that. She hated the fact both times she was having girls. Doesn't hate it now they're here obviously but her attitude annoyed the crap out of me.

Boys are lovely Op, no one loves their mother quite like a boy!

Dp hasn't visited his mother in well over a year, to be fair she's horrid but still. Don't stereotype.

Give it a rest Eminado Crikey some people need to chill out and sense of humor, is everything in your life taken so seriously? You sound like a complete bore tbh.

Do you always use the "Chill out. It was only a joke" bullshit when someone pulls you up for making sexist and offensive comments?

Your attitude reminds me of the justification you get when men whistle at women or make sexist remarks and don't have the balls to apologise when they are called out on their inappropriate behaviour. It's designed to try to make the challenger look unreasonable to take the heat off yourself.

How about saying "I'm sorry. It was an off the cuff remark that I didn't think through properly. No offence intended."

Crikey, can't believe how much of a furore Buster's throwaway comment caused...

Do you think mums generally want girls? I haven't got any kids yet but I'm totally desperate for a boy, always have been!! (I mean obviously I want a healthy happy baby. But I would be over the moon if it were a boy.)

Op, I really wanted a boy when I was pg with dd, I was convinced she was a boy. When I had my 20 week scan and they said she was a girl I genuinely didn't care. I was just so thrilled to see her moving and to see her in more detail.

Don't stress about it, whatever sex you get is the one your meant to have.

op there are no thought police, you are allowed to think and feel whatever you do. Lots of people feel different varieties of gender disappointment, so you are not alone.

When people say they 'don't tolerate it', they mean they don't tolerate public displays of it. If you had kept your thoughts to yourself, that would be one thing, but instead you are on here doing your bit to normalize people thinking they should care deeply which sex their child is.

When it comes to societal sexism you are either part of the cure or part of the problem. Telling people you want a female child is being part of the problem. You don't know a child when you know its sex so how can you know you want a female child? It's a sexist thought, based in sexist stereotypes.

Similarly, no matter how light hearted or supposedly funny it might be, it is sexist to claim no one loves their mother more than boys. So making said statements are making you part of the problem.

So why not spend an hour a day being part of the solution instead. Challenge every item of sexist bullshit you see for the next hour. It will be tiring, but in the end there isn't really anything else you can do.

Op can I ask, do you know why you want a girl so much this time? I know you said you already have a boy but is there any other reason?

A friend of mine has two boys and they are such different personalities, literally the exact opposite of each other, so it's not like she hasn't had completely different parenting experiences with both of her children.

Would you feel so passionate about having a girl if your sister wasn't pregnant?

Morphene love your post.

To everything be I have upset today, I'm sorry. It was an off the cuff remark that I didn't think through properly. No offence intended. I'm not really a horrible person, in fact I can count my friends on one hand, but to everyone who took my comment seriously I'm sorry for for that.

To everyone....I mean.

I love your post too Morphene. Thanks for being the intelligent voice of reason.

As you know you can't choose what you get and it's down to the luck of the draw but if you do have a boy and she has a girl it may be a blessing in disguise - there'll be less competition if you have babies of different sexes, fewer comparisons to be made.

I have a DS and I'm expecting a DD, the amount of people who seem genuinely delighted for me that I'm having a girl is baffling! From people's reactions you can really see gender preferences are alive and well.

I mostly don't care what we have, although I had it in my head it'd nice to have another boy as a buddy for DS and also for the convenience of handmedowns and things like that lazy and broke...plus I hear girls are really hard work as they get older!

buster you are forgiven, as long as you promise never EVER to buy a T-shirt with 'boys will be boys' on it

Excellent post Morphene. This is exactly what I meant by not tolerant of it.

Buster didn't say that boys love their mothers more.

Morphene I've been dying to bring that up but I didn't fancy a witch hunt! Ha ha. I'm so glad you mentioned that!

I wanted a girl long before I found out about my sister.

I cannot explain why I do but I do.

It has nothing to do with sexism.

I don't even know why people are commenting on this that don't even have children so how on earth do you know what I am thinking or feeling.

I love my ds unconditionally and he is a
Daddy's boy 100%.

"My sister is a bitch and so would push it in my face if she had a girl knowing that I wanted one but was never going to."

But does she know?

Op this is an aibu - some people will think you are, whether they have dc or not. If you're not prepared for the variety of opinions on an emotive issue such as this then it's the wrong place to post.

To everything be I have upset today, I'm sorry. It was an off the cuff remark that I didn't think through properly. No offence intended. I'm not really a horrible person, in fact I can count my friends on one hand, but to everyone who took my comment seriously I'm sorry for for that.

Thank you

Op I was just asking why because i was trying to understand where you're coming from and if there was s reason behind it. I personally don't know what the difference is between having a boy or girl.

I think you're probably doing the right thing by finding out early, if there's no reasoning behind your preference I'm not sure how'd you over come that logically, perhaps just giving yourself some time to come to terms with it would be best.

I would try not to discuss too much of your pregnancy with your sister, if she's the type to run things in if she thinks it'll hurt your feelings it's best to not give her any ammo.

No problem Gold I may come across as an ass but I'm actually not that bad!

We are not close by any stretch and so won't be going baby shopping or anything together.

I just feel the need to have a daughter I can't explain why.

I think it would be great for my son to have a brother and a friend for life but you can't control how you feel.