I know ibu but still

[koalabeartape]

I'm 15 weeks pregnant and told family a couple of weeks ago.

Was told this weekend that my sister is also pregnant.

We do not get on.

I know I'm being unreasonable and whatnot but I'm scared she's going to have a girl and I'm not.

koala It doesn't make you an awful person to feel that way - and lots of others feel it too - but it IS to do with sexism.

You have described that you want a baby of one sex more than the other, when you know nothing about this child at all. Being biased on the basis of sex alone, is the DEFINITION of sexism.

What does it mean to you to have a girl? Is it that you think she will be more like you than a male child? Is it that you think a girl child will be more sensitive than a male child? Or be more into fashion?

All of these reasons are just stereotypes. You could have a boy who is very sensitive and likes shopping or a girl who plays professional football and is into cars. You can't know what your child's personality will be from their sex alone, and it is sexism to think you can.

There is a very narrow range of issues in which gender disappointment isn't based in sexism and they refer to genetic conditions that only affect one gender.

I'd rather have a girl. I like women's woman, I have more female friends and I gravitate to women more. I'm more comfortable in the company of women I don't know than I am men I don't know. I celebrate and appreciate women and I'd love the chance to raise a new feminist into the sisterhood. I don't think that's sexist so much as biased.

I'd totally do as the op is doing though and have an early scan because I would be a bit upset if we had a boy but only for a little while, then I'd start celebrating and plotting how to raise a good ally.

Morphene you talk a lot of sense.

lord I thinks that's a ridiculous stand point tbh. I mean there is always someone massively less well off than you, does that mean you can't be unhappy about anything in your life?

I can see that gender disappointment could seem like a non- issue in comparison to infertility, but then infertility could seem like a non-issue to someone who doesn't have clean drinking water, and has had child after child losing 50% of them before the age of 2, in a situation of systematic marital rape, and no reproductive rights.

Oh and I am one of the people who can't even conceive one child, so far anyway, and I still have opinions about gender.

Utterly pathetic

Oh come on that's not fair. I think the op is reading as over the top in her want for a girl, especially the competition with her sister - but I think we all lean towards imagining having a boy or a girl when we think about future children. It's all well and good saying 'I only want a healthy happy child', because that is the ultimate goal, but there will always be one little voice saying 'I can only imagine having boys/girls'. That is in no way a reflection on how we feel when our children arrive, and it is wholly unfair to bring in those who cannot have biological children into the argument.

Well, when I was pregnant with my first, I got into a state hoping that it was a boy as I didn't want two girls, didn't want a girl then a boy, but wanted two kids, so if I had a girl first I was stymied all ways!

I agree with Morphene, Koala's desire to have a girl is about sexism and sexist attitudes. All of the reasons that she gives for wanting a girl perpetuate stereotypes about girls. Just as today girls should be able to do everything that boys do so we should raise boys who are allowed to be sensitive, caring and able to form close relationships. They need to learn to accept responsibility for roles traditionally undertaken by women, including caring for their parents instead of leaving it to wives and sisters.

Surely you just want a live baby?
Boy or girl you don't get to decide.
It's genetics or health issues or not are beyond control too (bar reckless behaviour)
With or without a health problem... you will.still love it right?
It will.still.be your baby. Not your sister"s baby.

Sorry
its
Not it"s

LordBeefCurtain, I think you're getting a bit too emotive about this and it's coming over as aggressive. I'm pretty sure the op knows that it's not about always getting what you want, she already has one boy. There are far politer ways of telling someone the way they feel is unreasonable without resorting to calling them pathetic.

Lordbeefcurtain what is it from my post that you can ascertain my attitude or sense of entitlement exactly.

Because you're judgey tone makes me wonder what self righteous attitude you have yourself